Sex Droughts

Aw, noodle! :/

cloudburst imminent :D

! :D

got a torresraincelebration.jpg stored if u need it.

Yay NV! :)

*smug*

Bah. 9 months and counting. Goblin Boy is having counselling, so far the counsellor is (reportedly) convinced he's secretly gay.

Yikes. Does GB (or you) find this the remotest bit credible, or is this a subtle way of him saying the counselor doesn't know what they are talking about?

I don't even want to talk about how long it's been. When it gets to double digits I'll seek professional help (I mean a gigalo not a counsellor who tells me I'm secretly gay.)

For whatever reason, there seems to be a large contingent of psychoanalysts that can't wrap their head around the notion that there really are some men who just aren't ever in the mood, or that some such men used to always be in the mood but aren't now that they're older, and that the onset of disinterest does not mean they are unknowingly gay.

Well, there really *is* such a thing as asexuality. Some people really are just not that interested.

But then there are other things - depression, medication, addiction, stress etc. - which can cause an OOC or temporary disinterest. I'm not doubting that there are ppl who suddenly come out as gay in their 30s or 40s, but when that's the first assumption a therapist reaches for, I do think that's not entirely professional.

It's not; they're taking an easy route out that's probably incorrect. The first order of business chould be to check all meds (including vitamins, minerals, and recreational drugs) and their contraindications and interactions; often a switch will help.

I expected this to happen if i live to be 80, but didn't expect it to happen in my 30s. Are our sex lives over already? That's my growing accesptance, but it still stinks.

GB's counsellor sounds shoddy to me; he says she talks a lot. And he has gone straight for counselling rather than seeing his doctor, so she is very unlikely to be medically qualified and therefore there will be no assessment of physical factors. He does work too hard, drink and smoke too much, is 37 so may be peaking physically etc. Are you teh Gay is as reasonable a question to ask as any I suppose, but GB explored his options pretty thoroughly in younger days and is p. sure he's 90% straight. He's perfecty comfortable with the other 10%, too.

This is 9 months after a 1-night blip in an otherwise uninterrupted 3 year drought. I'm THIRSTY.

/takes NV's smug, rolls it into a ball and kicks it across the yard

if it's any consolation my smug turned into shit sometime yesterday evening

6 years, 6 months - sure a lot of that was medication, depression, job that destroyed social life, etc. but I'm getting rather sick of it now. It's hard to believe that there isn't someone (that isn't completely awful) that is willing to have sex with me. I suspect those parenthesis may be the killer.

Oh shit, sorry NV. If I had a sliver of superstition in me I'd feel guilty for jinxing you. As it is I just feel guilty for not being more generous when you were happy. I'm a sucky human.

WCC, are they completely awful or just, you know, not hedgehog-haired enough?

I suppose I could always go and try the dodgy men who hang around the all night minicab stand in Norbury, but I think even they might have standards.

I hit the 6 year mark last year and I was convinced I would basically go for anyone who just wanted sex but I was in my local having some drinks and as the bar was closing I was propositioned by this girl and I thought, "yeah...I'm not that fussed actually."

It weird to think of myself being in a position to turn down sex, but yeah...I've actually done that a couple times.

longest drought yet

nobody's fault but mine, Zora :/

it's a start! onward and upward

so to speak

Quite tempted to say "if you are still getting offers of sex from ppl who don't expect you to pay for it, I'm not sure that counts as a sex ~drought~" (turning ppl down implies that the celibacy is by choice and not failure to rain.)

But I haven't even had an icky/slightly weird offer of sex since 2008 so I might think differently if i had to turn down gross offers.

I mean, the idea that there are loads of nice, available people chasing me down the street going "please sleep with us, WCC!" and I'm going "no, sorry, your hair isn't hedgehoggy enough..." is pretty LOL though.

Who knew that nice available people travel in pursuit mobs yelling things (politely, of course)?

I know! What am I thinking, turning them all down?

Well, for me I'd say that aside from guys, that was the one time that's happened to me in the last however many years, and when someone you haven't talked to comes up to you when the bar is shutting and says, "hey, I know I don't know you, but do you want to come back to my place?" after not saying a word before hand, it's really not appealing at all. ymmv i guess

Thankfully Carly Rae Jepsen has now given weird crepey girls a cute pickup line to use in those situations forever after.

That tactic might have genuinely piqued my interest! Probably not, but maybe...

I used to be able to pull off those kind of closing-time pickups. But usually it would be w someone I had danced with or had some flirty eye contact with across the bar so it was more of an "oh noes the club is closing, you'll just ~have~ to come back to mine to carry on drinking/flirting/???"

Corny CRJ lines would have been perfect for that kind of thing.

When I thought back on the night after I left, I think she mistook my watching the basketball game on the TV above and behind her for flirty eye contact. Which is not dissimilar to the time I was looking across the bar at a TGI Fridays in Alabama to keep an eye on the football scores when the guy sitting over there came over and asked me if I was gay, which led to some ill advised self-righteousness about "what's it to you?" because hey, one can only assume badness is coming from that situation when you're in Alabama.

Thankfully Carly Rae Jepsen has now given weird crepey girls a cute pickup line to use in those situations forever after.

If she had made a song where the chorus was "Hey, uh, so, do you like R. Crumb?" it would've resonated a lot more with my personal flirting history.

lol

I didn't realize we were confining turn downs of offers just to bars and from strangers. The two times I've turned down offers were from girls I'd previously slept with and really didn't want to get all tangled up in something I didn't want. I've never been propositioned by a stranger who wasn't a prostitute, though. Who knows what I'd say under the right circumstances?

I'm not in a bad way at this point, really. I last had sex at xmas, which is what...9-ish months ago? 9 months is easy.

hey i just met you
and this is crazy
but do you like r crumb?
why you runnin away

lol

hey i just met you
and this is crazy
but do you like r crumb?
piggyback me maybe

ha

Awhile back I was trying to sell my old phone on Craigslist, and one woman who responded asked if i'd lower the price if she slept with me. I declined.

(even though it would have ended a long drought)

O_o

For a phone?! Not even a free phone. Just a discounted phone.

maybe she saves the good sex for free phones

xp Yeah, and not even a particularly good phone (early Android, scratched up a bit). Wanted it for $50 instead of $70 or something. Sad irony is that I wound up selling it to someone else for less than $50....

She had a really clawing personality and wasn't attractive in any other way. She would have had to pay me to lower the price

Did she send you a photo or something? Weird.

tell me about this clawing personality

just wouldn't accept that I didn't want to sell her something for less than I thought it was worth, and made me talk for about 20 minutes before I had to cut off the conversation and leave. She did send me a photo (weird in itself) before she tried to bargain me down, because she didn't have a car and wanted me to drive out a few miles to meet her. Like "hey, I'm attractive, it's worth your time to drive out to sell me your phone". The pic BTW was either heavily photoshopped or simply of someone else.

post it

I long ago deleted it. Looked 30-ish, average looks-wise but could see me with her if her personality wasn't so grating