Sex Droughts

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It's over.

Bryan, Monday, 10 December 2012 22:26 (eleven years ago) link

Up to a solid year and a half now. Additionally, I think I've completely lost my "play-dar" (deepest apologies for that), as the few instances that seemed to be maaaybe heading in that direction (up to and including actually sharing a bed with a former partner at their bequest...?) tooootally wound up not heading in that direction at all (see also: what I recently sorta kinda thought was a third date but that she decided to bring a friend to...?). I'm beginning to feel like I've somehow lamentably become the perpetual eunuch companion.

Country Feedbag (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 December 2012 22:43 (eleven years ago) link

I was so freaked out after that I ate a big bag of wine gums on the bus.

Bryan, Monday, 10 December 2012 22:57 (eleven years ago) link

the perpetual eunuch companion.

Took the words right out of my mouth :(

muus lääv? :D muus dut :( (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:47 (eleven years ago) link

^^Thirded. I attended a gala tonight and was once again reminded of this, as I am at most of these things.

Big Sambola & The Tailspinners (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 06:00 (eleven years ago) link

Its been about 2 months for me (last experience was a harrowing one night stand that I think put me off sex for a while). I sense a long drought. I'm totally into the idea.

homosexual II, Friday, 14 December 2012 18:53 (eleven years ago) link

Go with it!

grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Friday, 14 December 2012 18:59 (eleven years ago) link

I was just friended on fb by a girl I share several mutual friends with and, within 4 four exchanged messages, I'd already been warned that drunk messages from her will involve flirting and propositioning. What? We only began talking 24 hours ago!

This is probably what happens on okc or other dating sites, but I don't do those and kind of don't expect it on fb.

Good thing she lives on the other side of the country.

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 15 December 2012 19:52 (eleven years ago) link

Good thing she lives on the other side of the country.

I say that, because if she were local I'd probably be over there tonight and regretting it in the morning. It's been 10 months!

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 15 December 2012 19:54 (eleven years ago) link

It's been about a year for me now. It's a good thing, though ... after a long series of gross and completely absurd flings and one night stands, I'm getting my shit together for something better.

Spectrum, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:11 (eleven years ago) link

the worst being an alien-loving conspiracy theorist and then a probable bi-polar 40-smthng former teacher who wanted to 'sexeducate' me. i'd really like to try out something normal for a change.

Spectrum, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:17 (eleven years ago) link

'sexeducate'

Oh my! I have to ask, though...what did you learn?

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:19 (eleven years ago) link

don't get involved with crazy people

Spectrum, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:20 (eleven years ago) link

lol

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:21 (eleven years ago) link

i guess we can assume by that that poppage was achieved

back in judy's tenuta (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Sunday, 16 December 2012 20:03 (eleven years ago) link

2mb of poppage

mookieproof, Sunday, 16 December 2012 22:03 (eleven years ago) link

you yanks and yr imperial measures

first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Sunday, 16 December 2012 22:06 (eleven years ago) link

If I understand correctly, darragh, there were no yanks in this instance.

how's life, Sunday, 16 December 2012 22:13 (eleven years ago) link

might as well use this to document the timeline of the pending drought - broke up Friday/Sunday, I think it had been five days since coitus.

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:13 (eleven years ago) link

WHY SHIT SO COMPLICATED

muus lääv? :D muus dut :( (Telephone thing), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 01:37 (eleven years ago) link

It's pretty straightforward bro

http://breasthealthrevolution.com/blog/index_files/train-into-tunnel.jpg

Oral Kiosk (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 02:32 (eleven years ago) link

Hey if you can master that one there's no need to leave the house.

Oral Kiosk (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 03:36 (eleven years ago) link

I love that this thread has basically just turned into a scorecard for us to keep track of when other ilxors are getting laid.

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 17:50 (eleven years ago) link

last saturday i was looking at my crotch through a microscope, as is my usual ritual, and could've sworn I saw a tumbleweed blow past. of course it might've been dust mites that gathered up a ball of my public hair and now push it around my groin like buggy little sisyphuses. short form, i need to get laiiiiid.

Spectrum, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 18:00 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

One screw in the last 3.5 years, and that one was crap. I'm feeling antsy and edgy and a little bit mad, miserable and unfocussed and generally like a teenager, debating going back on the meds, and it just now hit me - there's nothing wrong with me a good shag wouldn't fix. What do you do when masturbation isn't working any more?

Confused Turtle (Zora), Monday, 18 February 2013 17:56 (eleven years ago) link

drink more

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Monday, 18 February 2013 18:49 (eleven years ago) link

Wank twice in a row?

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Monday, 18 February 2013 18:54 (eleven years ago) link

meet someone hot who's travelling through town

ogmor, Monday, 18 February 2013 18:56 (eleven years ago) link

travel through someone else's town and find someone hot

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:00 (eleven years ago) link

I am a-travellin', but not hot. Nor have I met anyone hot, nor has anyone approaching hot been interested in meeting me :(

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:07 (eleven years ago) link

when you need a right shagging hotness can be overrated as a stumbling block

lance armstrong will have been delighted (darraghmac), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:10 (eleven years ago) link

have you tried lying on yr hand first btw

lance armstrong will have been delighted (darraghmac), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:10 (eleven years ago) link

The existence of a sexually disinterested but (allegedly) emotionally committed boyfriend is the biggest stumbling block tbh, and I haven't tried drinking or lying on my hand because frankly enough of me is numb already (figuratively and literally - lot of bike training lately.)

I'm downloading some erotic science fiction. Wish me luck.

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:36 (eleven years ago) link

sex: the final frontier

graduate of the Suzanne Moore School of Apologies (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:49 (eleven years ago) link

sorry i know yr sitch sucks :(
even speaking as major previous cause of own shaglessness

graduate of the Suzanne Moore School of Apologies (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:50 (eleven years ago) link

The existence of a sexually disinterested but (allegedly) emotionally committed boyfriend

this guy gets worse with every factoid imo

железобетонное очко (mookieproof), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:57 (eleven years ago) link

Hey now, the sexual disinterest isn't news, I've been bitching about it all along. GB remains the same worse he's always been. I don't expect sympathy on that score b/c I am clearly an idiot who won't be shown sense.

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 00:03 (eleven years ago) link

maybe he'd rather be goblin cock

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 00:35 (eleven years ago) link

cancer is a cockblocker

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 21 February 2013 05:02 (eleven years ago) link

oh morbs :( didn't see this post last week. hope you're not feeling too down about it.

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Friday, 1 March 2013 19:47 (eleven years ago) link

I came here to say that I'm on my way to a party and feeling blue about the fact that I won't be pulling, but I feel like a tit now.

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Friday, 1 March 2013 19:48 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enyn3ZtTeVQ

slam dunk, Saturday, 9 March 2013 08:23 (eleven years ago) link

gpoy

slam dunk, Saturday, 9 March 2013 08:25 (eleven years ago) link

five months pass...

Still not gettin' any. I hope the rest of ILX is at it like rabbits on E, but if you are, don't tell me about it. Or if you must tell me about it, tell me in irresistibly sensual detail. Cheers.

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 02:02 (eleven years ago) link


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