the worst being an alien-loving conspiracy theorist and then a probable bi-polar 40-smthng former teacher who wanted to 'sexeducate' me. i'd really like to try out something normal for a change.
― Spectrum, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:17 (eleven years ago) link
'sexeducate'
Oh my! I have to ask, though...what did you learn?
― Johnny Fever, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:19 (eleven years ago) link
don't get involved with crazy people
― Spectrum, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:20 (eleven years ago) link
lol
― Johnny Fever, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:21 (eleven years ago) link
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5c/Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg
― well if it isn't old 11 cameras simon (gbx), Sunday, 16 December 2012 18:36 (eleven years ago) link
i guess we can assume by that that poppage was achieved
― back in judy's tenuta (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Sunday, 16 December 2012 20:03 (eleven years ago) link
2mb of poppage
― mookieproof, Sunday, 16 December 2012 22:03 (eleven years ago) link
you yanks and yr imperial measures
― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Sunday, 16 December 2012 22:06 (eleven years ago) link
If I understand correctly, darragh, there were no yanks in this instance.
― how's life, Sunday, 16 December 2012 22:13 (eleven years ago) link
might as well use this to document the timeline of the pending drought - broke up Friday/Sunday, I think it had been five days since coitus.
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:13 (eleven years ago) link
WHY SHIT SO COMPLICATED
― muus lääv? :D muus dut :( (Telephone thing), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 01:37 (eleven years ago) link
It's pretty straightforward bro
http://breasthealthrevolution.com/blog/index_files/train-into-tunnel.jpg
― Oral Kiosk (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 02:32 (eleven years ago) link
http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/ca4b21dd20a75093f110e9a1061466e1/tumblr_mesuvvopXg1qzbjieo1_500.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 02:48 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.kleinbottle.com/images/babyinhand2.jpg
― muus lääv? :D muus dut :( (Telephone thing), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 03:01 (eleven years ago) link
Hey if you can master that one there's no need to leave the house.
― Oral Kiosk (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 03:36 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.redcliffsdesertreserve.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/02/Desert-Tortoise-IMG_40733.jpg
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 24 December 2012 16:34 (eleven years ago) link
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxcqi4jcPW1qhmhdfo1_500.gif
― muus lääv? :D muus dut :( (Telephone thing), Wednesday, 26 December 2012 17:30 (eleven years ago) link
I love that this thread has basically just turned into a scorecard for us to keep track of when other ilxors are getting laid.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 17:50 (eleven years ago) link
last saturday i was looking at my crotch through a microscope, as is my usual ritual, and could've sworn I saw a tumbleweed blow past. of course it might've been dust mites that gathered up a ball of my public hair and now push it around my groin like buggy little sisyphuses. short form, i need to get laiiiiid.
― Spectrum, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 18:00 (eleven years ago) link
One screw in the last 3.5 years, and that one was crap. I'm feeling antsy and edgy and a little bit mad, miserable and unfocussed and generally like a teenager, debating going back on the meds, and it just now hit me - there's nothing wrong with me a good shag wouldn't fix. What do you do when masturbation isn't working any more?
― Confused Turtle (Zora), Monday, 18 February 2013 17:56 (eleven years ago) link
drink more
― ☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Monday, 18 February 2013 18:49 (eleven years ago) link
Wank twice in a row?
― Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Monday, 18 February 2013 18:54 (eleven years ago) link
meet someone hot who's travelling through town
― ogmor, Monday, 18 February 2013 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
travel through someone else's town and find someone hot
― ☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:00 (eleven years ago) link
I am a-travellin', but not hot. Nor have I met anyone hot, nor has anyone approaching hot been interested in meeting me :(
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:07 (eleven years ago) link
when you need a right shagging hotness can be overrated as a stumbling block
― lance armstrong will have been delighted (darraghmac), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:10 (eleven years ago) link
have you tried lying on yr hand first btw
The existence of a sexually disinterested but (allegedly) emotionally committed boyfriend is the biggest stumbling block tbh, and I haven't tried drinking or lying on my hand because frankly enough of me is numb already (figuratively and literally - lot of bike training lately.)
I'm downloading some erotic science fiction. Wish me luck.
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:36 (eleven years ago) link
sex: the final frontier
― graduate of the Suzanne Moore School of Apologies (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:49 (eleven years ago) link
sorry i know yr sitch sucks :(even speaking as major previous cause of own shaglessness
― graduate of the Suzanne Moore School of Apologies (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:50 (eleven years ago) link
The existence of a sexually disinterested but (allegedly) emotionally committed boyfriend
this guy gets worse with every factoid imo
― железобетонное очко (mookieproof), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:57 (eleven years ago) link
Hey now, the sexual disinterest isn't news, I've been bitching about it all along. GB remains the same worse he's always been. I don't expect sympathy on that score b/c I am clearly an idiot who won't be shown sense.
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 00:03 (eleven years ago) link
maybe he'd rather be goblin cock
― ☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 00:35 (eleven years ago) link
cancer is a cockblocker
― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 21 February 2013 05:02 (eleven years ago) link
oh morbs :( didn't see this post last week. hope you're not feeling too down about it.
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Friday, 1 March 2013 19:47 (eleven years ago) link
I came here to say that I'm on my way to a party and feeling blue about the fact that I won't be pulling, but I feel like a tit now.
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Friday, 1 March 2013 19:48 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enyn3ZtTeVQ
― slam dunk, Saturday, 9 March 2013 08:23 (eleven years ago) link
gpoy
― slam dunk, Saturday, 9 March 2013 08:25 (eleven years ago) link
Still not gettin' any. I hope the rest of ILX is at it like rabbits on E, but if you are, don't tell me about it. Or if you must tell me about it, tell me in irresistibly sensual detail. Cheers.
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 02:02 (ten years ago) link
sex droughtsisn't it niceluring disco dolliesto a life of vice
― first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 02:05 (ten years ago) link
7+ months, have more or less forgotten what it was even like at this point
― CAROUSEL! CAROUSEL! (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 03:24 (ten years ago) link
zora having just read your posts upthread, i can say that i'm in almost exactly the same situation, which makes me feel a lil better. hope it might for you, too
― een, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 04:21 (ten years ago) link
just for the record i was googling 'clam snap shut gif'
― BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 05:13 (ten years ago) link
I suppose it does een, a little. How long has it been for you, if you don't mind saying? How do you cope? I feel so undesirable I can hardly be bothered to brush my hair.
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 09:40 (ten years ago) link
aw sweetie just try not to let yourself fall into this circular thinking -- "i feel so undesirable", so i'll just leave my hair unkempt so i'll look just as undesirable as i feel. Instead, try sprucing up your hair, throw on some nice threads, look in the mirror, tell yourself you look great. Look in the mirror a second time, this time being honest with yourself and looking for any possible flaw. See your reflection in the mirror, and realize, no, really, you do look great. Now, allow yourself to feel as good as you look (or even better) and you'll find the feel-good vibe can be contagious.
― Lee626, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 14:14 (ten years ago) link
Zo, I have thoughts. Write later when not on phone. xx
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 15:19 (ten years ago) link
Well, just wanted to chime in and say never lose hope. I've been in a drought and has become the guy with unkempt hair, beard and clothes who sits in the corner and is grumpy, but then last friday I went to a birthday party for someone I respect a lot, and so I decided I had to pretty up, sorta, and I shaved and put on the smartest shirt and made a point out of smiling and being nice to everyone and not drinking too much, and wouldn't you know it, this cute girl came on to me and we talked for hours and she gave me her phone number and we're meeting up again in a few days.
― Frederik B, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 15:53 (ten years ago) link
I've been a resident of drought town since February 2012, but I rarely think about it. And when I do, I just eat ice cream.
― Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 16:04 (ten years ago) link
and/or masturbate, duh
Well, I don't think about it all the time, I just happen to be thinking about it at the moment. Thanks for the support peeps, and Frederik, good luck with the cute girl! I'll think about putting on a smart shirt when I have something to do of an evening besides watch documentaries with my dad.
― you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 23:24 (ten years ago) link