Sex Droughts

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I love that this thread has basically just turned into a scorecard for us to keep track of when other ilxors are getting laid.

last saturday i was looking at my crotch through a microscope, as is my usual ritual, and could've sworn I saw a tumbleweed blow past. of course it might've been dust mites that gathered up a ball of my public hair and now push it around my groin like buggy little sisyphuses. short form, i need to get laiiiiid.

One screw in the last 3.5 years, and that one was crap. I'm feeling antsy and edgy and a little bit mad, miserable and unfocussed and generally like a teenager, debating going back on the meds, and it just now hit me - there's nothing wrong with me a good shag wouldn't fix. What do you do when masturbation isn't working any more?

drink more

Wank twice in a row?

meet someone hot who's travelling through town

travel through someone else's town and find someone hot

I am a-travellin', but not hot. Nor have I met anyone hot, nor has anyone approaching hot been interested in meeting me :(

when you need a right shagging hotness can be overrated as a stumbling block

have you tried lying on yr hand first btw

The existence of a sexually disinterested but (allegedly) emotionally committed boyfriend is the biggest stumbling block tbh, and I haven't tried drinking or lying on my hand because frankly enough of me is numb already (figuratively and literally - lot of bike training lately.)

I'm downloading some erotic science fiction. Wish me luck.

sex: the final frontier

sorry i know yr sitch sucks :(
even speaking as major previous cause of own shaglessness

The existence of a sexually disinterested but (allegedly) emotionally committed boyfriend

this guy gets worse with every factoid imo

Hey now, the sexual disinterest isn't news, I've been bitching about it all along. GB remains the same worse he's always been. I don't expect sympathy on that score b/c I am clearly an idiot who won't be shown sense.

maybe he'd rather be goblin cock

cancer is a cockblocker

oh morbs :( didn't see this post last week. hope you're not feeling too down about it.

I came here to say that I'm on my way to a party and feeling blue about the fact that I won't be pulling, but I feel like a tit now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enyn3ZtTeVQ

gpoy

Still not gettin' any. I hope the rest of ILX is at it like rabbits on E, but if you are, don't tell me about it. Or if you must tell me about it, tell me in irresistibly sensual detail. Cheers.

sex droughts
isn't it nice
luring disco dollies
to a life of vice

7+ months, have more or less forgotten what it was even like at this point

zora having just read your posts upthread, i can say that i'm in almost exactly the same situation, which makes me feel a lil better. hope it might for you, too

just for the record i was googling 'clam snap shut gif'

I suppose it does een, a little. How long has it been for you, if you don't mind saying? How do you cope? I feel so undesirable I can hardly be bothered to brush my hair.

aw sweetie just try not to let yourself fall into this circular thinking -- "i feel so undesirable", so i'll just leave my hair unkempt so i'll look just as undesirable as i feel. Instead, try sprucing up your hair, throw on some nice threads, look in the mirror, tell yourself you look great. Look in the mirror a second time, this time being honest with yourself and looking for any possible flaw. See your reflection in the mirror, and realize, no, really, you do look great. Now, allow yourself to feel as good as you look (or even better) and you'll find the feel-good vibe can be contagious.

Zo, I have thoughts. Write later when not on phone. xx

Well, just wanted to chime in and say never lose hope. I've been in a drought and has become the guy with unkempt hair, beard and clothes who sits in the corner and is grumpy, but then last friday I went to a birthday party for someone I respect a lot, and so I decided I had to pretty up, sorta, and I shaved and put on the smartest shirt and made a point out of smiling and being nice to everyone and not drinking too much, and wouldn't you know it, this cute girl came on to me and we talked for hours and she gave me her phone number and we're meeting up again in a few days.

I've been a resident of drought town since February 2012, but I rarely think about it. And when I do, I just eat ice cream.

and/or masturbate, duh

Well, I don't think about it all the time, I just happen to be thinking about it at the moment. Thanks for the support peeps, and Frederik, good luck with the cute girl! I'll think about putting on a smart shirt when I have something to do of an evening besides watch documentaries with my dad.

Zo, I posted about it on the "no boys allowed" thread, I think, but I've been changing/reducing the ways that I perform femininity, and it has definitely resulted in me feeling less desirable and less likely to attract the people I would like to, but in other ways it's a relief to feel more natural, and I'm in a spot of testing whether I even want to go back to that when my life changes again. I'm not punishing myself or bemoaning my failures to live or love a certain way, I'm just letting myself move that consideration way to the bottom of my priorities.

It's good. I don't want to "spruce up" anything or put that burden on what shirt I decide to wear--I still want to be clean, stylish, flattered aesthetically by my fashion choices, but I'm not making them CARRY my, uh...gender signaling? Or my eligibility to participate in courtship behaviors (lol?). I don't know, it's still murky.

i almost flagged that post trying to 'like' it

lol

in orbit, I have some thoughts around that too.

I've spent most of my life in groups where gender performance was low key. I have long hair and I wear skirts, but even the skirts - you could imagine Kurt Cobain in any of them. I have never worn make-up as an everyday thing. I was a goth (a skinny, boyish one, not one of those buxom ones) when I first started wearing make-up and so it's a tribal signaling tool for me. I don't really know how to wear it just to look prettier. I can't wear high heels.

I don't like the kind of attention that comes from 'signaling'. Somehow, in the past, I managed to meet people who found me attractive without giving out sartorial signals about my availability. So my appearance - I can dress for sharp office worker or what have you, but I don't have a 'sexy zora' or even a 'feminine zora' version of myself that comes from clothes.

I don't think this is at odds with what Lee said, BTW. I think he's talking about being clean, stylish and flattered aesthetically. Which yeah, verily, I can rarely be bothered to do. Being out of work doesn't help.

When I do make a bit of an effort, sometimes it still makes me feel better, but increasingly it makes me angry; what a waste! Here I am, as hott as I will ever be again (not getting any younger), why doesn't he want me any more?

Thank you for posting it though. I think it is interesting and it raises a question in me that may only be tangentially related to your experiment with naturalness, I'm not sure. What happens if I give up even thinking about being attractive - to GB, to men in general? Would not having to shave my pits be a fair swap for not stressing about ever getting laid again? Idk.

I just realized that since I last posted itt in June 2012, I haven't gone more than a few months without. Yay me for figuring out how to have a consistently active sex life. I broke the cycle and you can do it too!

wtg rev

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woman on the left otm, wandered way past the missing sex bit

I'm sticking around the 'failings as a person' mark. Happy to see that Carl McCoy is also in the sex-desert. ;)

Not sure if I want to post anything on a public board (or any board really) apart from "lol marriage :("

does ILX have a "how do i shot makeover?" thread, cos i feel like i need to make myself feel a little less lumpy and old but i have not much in the way of budget right now

feel like i actually need to work on the "getting out and meeting interesting new people in my age bracket in a low pressure situation of sparkling conversation" thing too but i live in 'ull ffs

* tumbleweeds *

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NV, you're not a bad looking dude by any means. Winter is coming, maybe try expanding that into a (neatly trimmed) beard for a new look? Not sure if you've done that before but I see on FB you had some hair going on there.. go all the way (to go all the way?) NB my husband has a beard so I may be biased. As for clothes makeovers, I want all dudes in dark blur jeans, a white collar shirt with a black tie and a nice grey sweater on top, so I'm not much help.