...don't remember it being a big deal for me though, I wasn't in a hurry, it just occasionally felt awkward to be a virgin at that age.
― touch my bum / this is life (daavid), Friday, 24 July 2009 03:05 (fourteen years ago) link
19
― Rostam Batmang (The Reverend), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:00 (fourteen years ago) link
17
― morning bells are ringing, zing ban rong zing ban rong (Curt1s Stephens), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:15 (fourteen years ago) link
18 with a girl I didn't really give a shit about for the basic reason of just losing it. It was incredibly depressing.
― riffed on by internet john krasinskis (circa1916), Thursday, July 23, 2009 7:55 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― Clay, Friday, 24 July 2009 04:23 (fourteen years ago) link
20
― J0rdan S., Friday, 24 July 2009 07:50 (fourteen years ago) link
20 - my bf had just been in a car accident and it was a good way to relieve the tension.
― actually a decent question y'all fucked up with ironic bullshit answer (sarahel), Friday, 24 July 2009 07:55 (fourteen years ago) link
16
― BIG HOOS's wacky crack variety hour (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 24 July 2009 07:57 (fourteen years ago) link
she was 18 and nuts
― BIG HOOS's wacky crack variety hour (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 24 July 2009 07:59 (fourteen years ago) link
14
― Code Ten Abbott (country matters), Friday, 24 July 2009 08:11 (fourteen years ago) link
;-)
so you're only 16 years old?
― actually a decent question y'all fucked up with ironic bullshit answer (sarahel), Friday, 24 July 2009 08:14 (fourteen years ago) link
Pretty young, but I don't regret it. Boyfriend of the time was lovely, and is still one of my best friends in the world.
― emil.y, Friday, 24 July 2009 11:49 (fourteen years ago) link
poll should have been called "carry me back to old virginity"
― velko, Friday, 24 July 2009 16:46 (fourteen years ago) link
^^best part about this entire thread, and board so far
― Mr. Que, Friday, 24 July 2009 16:48 (fourteen years ago) link
I didn't 'lose' it, I just mislaid it.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Friday, 24 July 2009 16:48 (fourteen years ago) link
18 and one week (practically 17, really) with a beautiful girl that i loved, and stayed with for another six years.
― Bobkate Goldtwat (darraghmac), Friday, 24 July 2009 18:52 (fourteen years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link
wonder why 18 and 20 got the most votes, but 19 got far less ...
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link
19-year-olds got cooties.
― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:04 (fourteen years ago) link
It's the disparity between 20 and 21 that what happened, I am confuses me
― One idiot even called me "redcoat" because I'm (country matters), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:06 (fourteen years ago) link
19 still got the third most votes?
― Lamp, Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:08 (fourteen years ago) link
srsly 21, 22 and 23 = uhhhh
― One idiot even called me "redcoat" because I'm (country matters), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:08 (fourteen years ago) link
xp Mine was pretty close to my 21st birthday, actually. I think it was right after his and before mine. We were two weeks apart. We also wore the same size shoes.
Yeah it got 9, but the graph would not look like a normal distribution.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:09 (fourteen years ago) link
26 is really the weirdest outlier i think
well lol poll results with this sample size but the basic trend is still right w/ 19 @ 9 its the mid/l8 20s bump that really fucks the dist
― Lamp, Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:11 (fourteen years ago) link
I was 18 too, and thought I was way too old to be a virgin (almost all of my close friends had already had sex). The girl I was with was nice enough and the experience itself was not unpleasant at all, but it soon became obvious there was no real spark between us, so the whole thing ended within days and we never had sex for the second time.
― Tuomas, Thursday, 30 July 2009 07:22 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't know if I feel relieved or saddened that one person was younger than me. :-/
― Your Mother Smells Of Elderflower (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 30 July 2009 09:28 (fourteen years ago) link
A friend of mine lost his to a 30-something Polish woman. She preceded it by saying 'I will destroy you'
― gnarly sceptre, Friday, 31 July 2009 14:14 (fourteen years ago) link
And I know another dude who lost his during a Godspeed gig in Greece.
― gnarly sceptre, Friday, 31 July 2009 14:16 (fourteen years ago) link
So here's a question: at what age does one go from being simply "a virgin" to being a proper "adult virgin."
― EDB, Thursday, 12 July 2012 22:42 (eleven years ago) link
25
― Neil Jung (WmC), Friday, 13 July 2012 00:26 (eleven years ago) link
I guess I felt 25 was 'last of the adult age mileposts' because you can rent a car but that makes it even more depressing
― Team Safeword (Abbbottt), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:06 (eleven years ago) link
yeah pot should be legal at age 30
― iatee, Friday, 13 July 2012 02:07 (eleven years ago) link
Sex is for hippies
― calum-y maybe (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:28 (eleven years ago) link
sex, weed, comfortable threads...hippies otm
― perry en concrète (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:44 (eleven years ago) link
xp - is that what you tell your fiancee?
― sarahell, Friday, 13 July 2012 02:45 (eleven years ago) link
man i wish ilx had some comfortabnle threads i'm havin a mellow week and there's no fuckin place to hide in this motherfucker
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:54 (eleven years ago) link
try the suburbs
― sarahell, Friday, 13 July 2012 02:55 (eleven years ago) link
i dunno what an urb is but i'll be damned, madam, if i settle for a poor one on your say-so
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:58 (eleven years ago) link
pot legal at 30, heroin legal at 80 IMO
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Friday, 13 July 2012 14:53 (eleven years ago) link
depressing to realise how little my answer to this has changed over the years
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 15:20 (eleven years ago) link
isn't that how time works?
― 40oz of tears (Jordan), Friday, 13 July 2012 17:08 (eleven years ago) link
hush i'm trying for a sad bill murray vibe
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 17:12 (eleven years ago) link
I laughed, darragh
― hot sauce delivery device (mh), Friday, 13 July 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link
ty, ty
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 18:27 (eleven years ago) link
lolled here
― ¥╡*ٍ*╞¥ (sic), Saturday, 14 July 2012 01:17 (eleven years ago) link
18, it was horrible, a few nights before she'd shouted at me in the SU for not having sex with her. I also did drugs for the first time the day after. What a weekend.
― Blue Collar Retail Assistant (Dwight Yorke), Saturday, 14 July 2012 18:16 (eleven years ago) link
This could easily be x-posted to the "phrases you hate" thread, but it's more on-topic here.....
I've long thought "losing your virginity" to be one of the most revulsion-inducing expressions in the English language. Really, shouldn't one of life's most evocative experiences - making love for your first time ever - be referred to as gaining a new and alluring experience of great poignancy rather than losing something; or worse, having something taken away from you? (as in "Aaron took Jane's virginity last night")? It's just such an awful, sex-negative remnant of Victorian-era attitudes i would've hoped we'd moved forward from long ago. I think it's high time we eradicated "losing one's virginity" from our collective vernacular and replace it with something that invokes discovery, not loss.
― the old thrills are losing their kick, i need stronger & stronger stuff (Lee626), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:31 (eleven years ago) link
lol
― Tartar Mouantcheoux (Noodle Vague), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:33 (eleven years ago) link
Not intended to be funny; it's actually kinda sad. Orwellian even. Newspeak didn't have a word that meant "freedom" so the people couldn't dream up and discuss the concept since there was no word that described it. When the main terminology we have for experiencing sex for the first time is wrapped up in words like "lose" and "take" and "put out", we're robbed of the ability to describe how it really does feel, often enriching rather than feeling as if you're less complete than you were because you're missing something you previously had. When these things are baked into the language, accurate and eloquent thought suffers.
― the old thrills are losing their kick, i need stronger & stronger stuff (Lee626), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:44 (eleven years ago) link
or, yknow, writes like one for money
― golfdinger (darraghmac), Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:33 (ten years ago) link
I can' help but RMDE at all this "saving myself" business. Not just for the typical reason of self-congratulatory asceticism being tedious, but, like, my celibacy is involuntary, these people are just rubbing it in.
― Fiddler on a hot tin roof (ed.b), Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:57 (ten years ago) link
NYT chick i think is actually a psychopathshe's an esl teacher named amanda, what did you expect
― sweat pea (La Lechera), Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:58 (ten years ago) link
aww
― mh, Friday, 15 November 2013 02:05 (ten years ago) link
Virgin Psychopath would be a neat ilx username
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 15 November 2013 02:32 (ten years ago) link
Better cocktail name imo
― golfdinger (darraghmac), Friday, 15 November 2013 02:33 (ten years ago) link
xpost to myself: I think what I meant to say is that those people are basically virginity trolls.
― Fiddler on a hot tin roof (ed.b), Friday, 15 November 2013 03:48 (ten years ago) link
Deems otm
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 15 November 2013 03:52 (ten years ago) link
At 26 with no end in sight, this is getting increasingly old...
― ed.b, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 01:04 (nine years ago) link
Forget what you've heard about your first time being special. Hire a prostitute or something.
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 20:12 (nine years ago) link
yea plus aren't there like a bunch of casual sex hookup apps where you can find people in your neighborhood to fuck?
― marcos, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 20:18 (nine years ago) link
Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea. (Admittedly, I think it's always a terrible idea.)
― JRN, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 20:57 (nine years ago) link
I know it's hard not to think about if it's a preoccupation, but maybe the thread isn't helping? I don't know, man, I think you need to try something new.
― mh, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 21:52 (nine years ago) link
Forget what you've heard about your first time being special
This is definitely not my concern, I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon. Mostly I just feel like complaining.
― ed.b, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:00 (nine years ago) link
Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea.
You're probably right. It's just something I've seen in movies and on tv.
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:13 (nine years ago) link
I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon.
Well yeah, this sucks, especially if that solitude isn't a choice.
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:15 (nine years ago) link
That's easy for you to say, not everyone knows how to talk to strangers/women/potential relationship candidates. Not everyone took part in the whole dating thing when they were growing up.
So, in short, I disagree. Don't wait until you're 41 like msome people. When it's such a big deal in your head, all you care about is knowing what it's all about. No strings attached (except the one she's wearing, perhaps), no need to act like you're social, just you finding out how it feels. Sure, you'll feel guilty, sure, it won't be as great as it looks in porn, but in the end, you'll know. And that was the point. You won't become a different person or anything, you'll just know.
At least, that's just something I've seen in movies and on tv as well, obviously.
― StanM, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:33 (nine years ago) link
You'll learn something about the mechanics of sex, but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you. That seems like a bad thing in general, closely related to the ethical problems with prostitution, and especially bad for a first sexual experience.
― JRN, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:41 (nine years ago) link
that's really on your own baggage. it's hard to divest if it's part of you and you haven't had any sex. but really, you can have enthusiastic consensual sex with a stranger or pro or whatever and have a good time
― mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:48 (nine years ago) link
The idea that good sex requires love and obligation and a guilt complex is uhhh, fine if that works for you but don't foist that on others.
― mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:49 (nine years ago) link
http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsK/85783-19426.jpg
― mookieproof, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:50 (nine years ago) link
i don't think jrn's position has to be about love and obligation and a guilt complex though. it's true that first time sex (whether overall first time or with a new partner) isn't a big deal but the reason it's not a big deal is perhaps less about some brutally objective physical fact than it is that when you're with someone you're comfortable around, and there's some distinct mutual feeling, then intimacy and sex are pretty easy.
― Merdeyeux, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:54 (nine years ago) link
mh, could you explain how you interpreted my post as opposing casual sex? I'm really curious.
― JRN, Thursday, 31 July 2014 03:06 (nine years ago) link
i can't imagine having sex with a prostitute and not feeling paralyzed with self-consciousness about the fact that they (probably) aren't attracted to me. this seems like awful advice for a first timer.
― Treeship, Thursday, 31 July 2014 03:46 (nine years ago) link
How do you feel when you imagine having sex with a non-prostitute?
― boney tassel (sic), Thursday, 31 July 2014 07:58 (nine years ago) link
but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you
If you're having casual sex, you're doing it to have sex and not feel deep love and romantic feelings and the like? And presumably the other person does want you (to have casual sex with them). Saying that you're missing something _essential_ misses the point that it's _casual sex_.
― mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:30 (nine years ago) link
but jrn's saying that "essential part" is missing in sex with a prostitute, not (necessarily) in casual sex
― Merdeyeux, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:38 (nine years ago) link
sex is just a body thing when you get down to it. something that just happens on a different level than things like acceptance, love, or any of that shit. we add all those different layers to it because that's what we do. is there any great meaning behind whether someone's body wants to fuck you? if you imagine you're a sex god i guess i could see that as important. or have some great need to be accepted unconditionally by every person you want to screw.
i've had casual sex where i didn't give a crap about the other person, and vice versa. it's just fun with someone else. then you part ways. costs about $6 in beer. it all depends on what you want and feel comfortable with, but there's nothing great or special about what sex is. it's just our bodies doing their thing.
― Spectrum, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:44 (nine years ago) link
and there's the other end of the continuum
― mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:50 (nine years ago) link
i wouldn't see a prostitute, personally, but i don't think there's anything wrong with that. my taste is that the other person having fun is part of me having fun. has to be mutual. but it doesn't make you a shit person if you really want to get off and you see someone who can help you with that for money. might even be good for you as long as you're safe about it.
― Spectrum, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:53 (nine years ago) link
Several years back I knew a woman who *loved* having sex with first-timers, especially older ones, guys who were shy, uncomfortable talking with women, or clueless about how to initiate a relationship, but were generally nice guys. She would all but offer herself up to anyone she knew to be a virgin as long as they were nice to her and not repulsive. When I asked her why, she said these men always treated her so well and made her feel important, because she was important to them. She was also amazed at how good they were in bed, perhaps because they'd spent so long just thinking about sex, asking their friends about it, or reading up on it.
I wonder how common this is.
― Lee626, Friday, 1 August 2014 13:10 (nine years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah7VxQHs-gI
― StanM, Friday, 1 August 2014 14:33 (nine years ago) link