Poop...

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So, how often do you drop a log daily?

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Twice a day 15
Once a day 13
Less than once a day (every couple of days) 7
Holy crap more than three a day 6
Three times a day 2


Beast, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

tough question. I think there is going to be some battleground votes

CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

quality over quantity, man...

Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 16:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

What if you do one a day one day and two the next and then three the day after that and none the fourth day, how the hell are you supposed to vote with those options?

not_goodwin, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:38 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yes, the options here are mathematically dishonest and are trying to paint a misleading picture. Let me speak to your supervisor.

Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 16:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

eat lots of plums!
xpost

Zeno, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:44 (ten years ago) Permalink

*plop*

al kaline trio (dan m), Friday, 3 October 2008 16:45 (ten years ago) Permalink

Well it's just kind of a "regularly..." thing. I mean, my shit schedule changes a lot, but regularly I would say once a day.

Before that it was once every couple of days. Which can't be good for anyone.

Beast, Friday, 3 October 2008 16:46 (ten years ago) Permalink

mine makes even me faint

Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 17:53 (ten years ago) Permalink

3-4.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:26 (ten years ago) Permalink

Really gets annoying.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

damn, 3-4? do you have a portable device attached to your sphincter for the moments that are inconvenient?

Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

It's not actually that hard to hold the poop until it is convenient.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

I dunno, you kinda sound like Robocrapper

Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 18:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

I had a friend that pooped a lot

CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 18:52 (ten years ago) Permalink

Crapping 3-4 times per day >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> wiping 3-4 times per day, just FYITMI.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 19:52 (ten years ago) Permalink

i don't get it. what's wrong w/ yr butt libcrypt? i only poop once.

lil yawne (harbl), Friday, 3 October 2008 21:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

Ever? Damn dude, musta been huge if it was an all-encompassing turd.

Life Begins at Death (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Friday, 3 October 2008 21:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

bo jackson overdrive and captainlorax having a conversation about poop is truly our lowest common denominator isnt it

a passion for posting (J0rdan S.), Friday, 3 October 2008 21:44 (ten years ago) Permalink

I'm on meds that make me crap often.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 22:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

can a mod move this thread to I Love TMI?

ian, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:25 (ten years ago) Permalink

I was thinking that would be a good idea.

...any objections?

I'm the wire monkey, not the soft monkey (Rock Hardy), Friday, 3 October 2008 22:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

"I had a friend that pooped a lot"
-that's the type of random insight that cracks me up (of course it would be funnier to hear this in a different scenario)

I feel like I have mastered the "it's funny because it's wrong" type of humor.
Maybe my friend pooping is not the shiniest example. But there's more to this type of humor than meets the eye. You should try experimenting with it around your coworkers... seriously. There's many derivatives of this humor worth exploring (especially stupidity), and some that just aren't very funny. But if you make yourself laugh, that's better than nothing.

Pooping While On The Phone

CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:37 (ten years ago) Permalink

now that the secret of my stupidity is out, my randomness wont be quite as funny anymore :/
well at least to my fans. i still think it's funny

CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:49 (ten years ago) Permalink

that's the suckiest bowel movement ever. eh? eh?

CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:52 (ten years ago) Permalink

SCENE II:

Dusk. A clean but dimly-lit basement room, empty except for a table, two chairs, a toilet, a roll of Charmin and a Hitachi Magic Wand.

I'm the wire monkey, not the soft monkey (Rock Hardy), Friday, 3 October 2008 22:53 (ten years ago) Permalink

I'm just waiting for someone to say - "You were never funny"
that would crack me up.

CaptainLorax, Friday, 3 October 2008 22:53 (ten years ago) Permalink

Go chop a tree down lorax.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Friday, 3 October 2008 23:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Saturday, 4 October 2008 23:01 (ten years ago) Permalink

Are there any ladies here?

The More You Live The Faster You Will Die (Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You), Saturday, 4 October 2008 23:57 (ten years ago) Permalink

Everyone know that ladies don't poop!

quincie, Sunday, 5 October 2008 00:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

i'm a lady!!!!

lil yawne (harbl), Sunday, 5 October 2008 00:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

YOU ARE VIOLATING THE LADY CONTRACT

quincie, Sunday, 5 October 2008 00:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

but pooping is liberating and empowering

lil yawne (harbl), Sunday, 5 October 2008 02:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

Not to mention lightening.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Sunday, 5 October 2008 03:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

tony orlando and dawng (PappaWheelie V), Sunday, 5 October 2008 03:57 (ten years ago) Permalink

Why the fuck this thread got to float to the top of the new answers bowl when im eating some delicious pizza

The Atlantis Mystery Solved! (Frogman Henry), Sunday, 5 October 2008 04:07 (ten years ago) Permalink

dude, considering your ilx history here....!!!!

tony orlando and dawng (PappaWheelie V), Sunday, 5 October 2008 04:08 (ten years ago) Permalink

it's true. i'm all about the pizza.

The Atlantis Mystery Solved! (Frogman Henry), Sunday, 5 October 2008 04:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

"Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!"

Ioannis, Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

Who wrote that? I'm drawing a blank. Was it Donne? Swift?

Fr. Jemima Racktouey (ENBB), Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

NM - my friend Gooogle confirmed it was Swift.

Fr. Jemima Racktouey (ENBB), Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

yep.

Ioannis, Sunday, 5 October 2008 18:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:01 (ten years ago) Permalink

more than 50% of poll participants shit two or more times a day. How do you people have time for jobs?

ShNick (Upt0eleven), Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:26 (ten years ago) Permalink

who says you can't work on the can

jonty alouette (electricsound), Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

I was sweating just waiting for the results.
but thank god, I'm average.
now no one can dispute my pooping preferences.

CaptainLorax, Sunday, 5 October 2008 23:44 (ten years ago) Permalink

more than 50% of poll participants shit two or more times a day. How do you people have time for jobs?

^^^ toilet sitta

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Monday, 6 October 2008 04:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

I'm more surprised that so many people don't even need to shit every day. How is that possible?

Tuomas, Monday, 6 October 2008 06:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

o, the humanity!

Ioannis, Tuesday, 7 October 2008 08:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

CaptainLorax, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 06:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Seems like the denizens of this board would be interested in this site:
http://www.poopandmemory.org/

jaymc, Friday, 30 April 2010 17:53 (eight years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

as i reach for the last half inch of a nearly depleted french press of coffee even though i am already highly caffeinated, i notice the colonies of floating grinds and am fully aware that i am most likely going to trigger a sizeable pooping event. every gulp leads me closer to the glorious conclusion

Z S, Friday, 25 January 2013 18:34 (five years ago) Permalink

*gulps* *farts*

Butt Trump tweet (Matt P), Sunday, 27 January 2013 06:21 (five years ago) Permalink

I really hate pooping.

cloacachella (how's life), Sunday, 27 January 2013 11:38 (five years ago) Permalink

Somebody should make a poop centrifuge for people who hate pooping. You get into it, it spins you round really fast, and centrifugal force just pulls the poop out of you.

Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 12:46 (five years ago) Permalink

Pooptrifuge(tm)

Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 12:49 (five years ago) Permalink

Then they could get William Shatner to do the adverts.

Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 12:52 (five years ago) Permalink

pooptrifuge.com - no-one register that domain, I've got dibs on it.

Prisoner: Cell Block J/K (snoball), Sunday, 27 January 2013 13:20 (five years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

yesterday it felt like I was trying to pass that rolling ball from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Neanderthal, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:44 (four years ago) Permalink

I don't know if that's good or bad

Dreamland, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:47 (four years ago) Permalink

painful but reverent

Neanderthal, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:49 (four years ago) Permalink

Haha, a word that has never been attributed to poop by anyone ever

Dreamland, Friday, 20 June 2014 01:59 (four years ago) Permalink

four years pass...

being awakened by one’s need to shit is never good

i mean it’s better than *not* being awakened by one’s need to shit, but how about we just leave all the shitting to normal daytime hours

mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2018 09:47 (four months ago) Permalink

t/s: being awakened by one's need to shit vs being awakened by someone else's need to shit

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 10:41 (four months ago) Permalink

vs failing to awake despite one's urgent need to shit

vs one's urgent need to shit triggering a narcoleptic episode

Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:23 (four months ago) Permalink

*dreamcatcher*

dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:38 (four months ago) Permalink

one's urgent need to shit triggering a narcoleptic episode

s(h)itcom waiting to happen imo

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:45 (four months ago) Permalink

Sacha Baron Cohen's next project.

Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:51 (four months ago) Permalink

just read this at snopes...

In 1965 a ‘grossly obese’ man survived without eating for 1 year and 17 days. He lived entirely off his copious body fat and vitamins, and ended up losing 125kg [276 lb] of weight with no adverse effects. Also, he only pooped every 40 – 50 days

Kim Kimberly, Friday, 27 July 2018 13:52 (four months ago) Permalink

He later became the 45th President of the United States.

Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Friday, 27 July 2018 13:55 (four months ago) Permalink

Pooping should be a glorious ritual reserved for the early morning, immediately before showering

F# A# (∞), Friday, 27 July 2018 14:53 (four months ago) Permalink

I mean, if you want to jump the gun and pretend that there isn't a perfectly functional drain in the shower, sure.

Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 July 2018 15:38 (four months ago) Permalink

IMPORTANT: Steven Bochco fired the lead actor from MURDER ONE because his morning dump made him an hour late to set every single day. Please RT! pic.twitter.com/xLHorB33KL

— Max Silvestri (@maxsilvestri) July 26, 2018

mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2018 21:39 (four months ago) Permalink

murder two morelike

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 21:47 (four months ago) Permalink

that's so hilarious to me. just how recalcitrant about it he was

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:01 (four months ago) Permalink


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