Most Awful Thing Said to You Either During or After Sex

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'Just go ahead and wrap up, I'm not into this anymore'

orville reddenflocka (San Te), Thursday, 10 March 2011 18:49 (six years ago) Permalink

silence.....silence.......silence...... 'no, not like that'......silence

Achillean Heel (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 March 2011 19:25 (six years ago) Permalink

(after a few minutes of silence, in a very bored tone)

"Are you done yet?"

Lee626, Thursday, 10 March 2011 19:40 (six years ago) Permalink

"No, don't leave by the front door, please"

orville reddenflocka (San Te), Thursday, 10 March 2011 20:25 (six years ago) Permalink

i've gotten the "thats it"?

The Scenario (chrisv2010), Thursday, 10 March 2011 21:15 (six years ago) Permalink

damn straight, followed promptly by me snoring.

The Scenario (chrisv2010), Thursday, 10 March 2011 21:38 (six years ago) Permalink

do any men say shitty things to women during sex? this seems to be a chick thing.

i have certainly THOUGHT some mean things but never uttered them

homosexual II, Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:11 (six years ago) Permalink

i think "yeah this isn't really working" says all it needs to say without getting explicitly nasty

australian rules football quarterback (electricsound), Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:13 (six years ago) Permalink

i mean have any girls here had a dude tell them that their vagina was too big or something?

homosexual II, Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:19 (six years ago) Permalink

I think that, despite each sex being just as insecure as the other, men are genuinely grateful to get laid and wouldn't even think of ruining it by saying something mean or complaining.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:36 (six years ago) Permalink

ex. Dudes will pay ugly worn-down-by-life streetwalkers for sex and love it just because it's sex.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:37 (six years ago) Permalink

i have never experienced this "too big" vagina

australian rules football quarterback (electricsound), Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:39 (six years ago) Permalink

too small on the other hand...

adult music person (Jordan), Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:39 (six years ago) Permalink

Oh! I was told one time my cum tasted gross, but I think that was just temporary and diet-related because she'd been around my cum before with zero complaints.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:43 (six years ago) Permalink

Wow, that really was tmi...soz y'all

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 10 March 2011 22:50 (six years ago) Permalink

i mean have any girls here had a dude tell them that their vagina was too big or something?

― homosexual II, Thursday, March 10, 2011 5:19 PM (59 minutes ago) [IP: 65.114.224.250] Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGjElvt4nP8

ENBB, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:20 (six years ago) Permalink

I hate Larry David and love him at the same time.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:24 (six years ago) Permalink

always laugh pretty hard at his expression on "methinks the lady doth protest too much"

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:30 (six years ago) Permalink

yep

ENBB, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:32 (six years ago) Permalink

Jeff's reaction when he tells him kills me too.

ENBB, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:33 (six years ago) Permalink

i dunno i read "women" by bukowski and he talks an awful lot about saggy vaginas in that one

homosexual II, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:53 (six years ago) Permalink

it's a story arc in the godfather novel iirc.

Achillean Heel (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:55 (six years ago) Permalink

"women" by bukowski

amazing

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:57 (six years ago) Permalink

the title/author combination, i mean

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:58 (six years ago) Permalink

feel like bukowski's probably written fairly nasty things about every aspect of sex you could name tho

Achillean Heel (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:58 (six years ago) Permalink

kegels

just sayin

ENBB, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:58 (six years ago) Permalink

said to me: "I've seen worse."

corey, Thursday, 10 March 2011 23:59 (six years ago) Permalink

kegels

just sayin

you ain't lyin

australian rules football quarterback (electricsound), Friday, 11 March 2011 00:00 (six years ago) Permalink

fuckin love that curb clip

Slow lorax loves getting tickled (dayo), Friday, 11 March 2011 00:13 (six years ago) Permalink

The Weather Channel was on in the background and the guy looked up and said, "Oh it's that fat weather lady." I must have made a sad face because then he felt the need to say, "You pull it off, don't worry."
I feel like an old saying the Weather Channel was on.

Buff Orpington (Abbbottt), Friday, 11 March 2011 00:52 (six years ago) Permalink

oof!

You need to sell that to a screenwriter.

Johnny Fever, Friday, 11 March 2011 00:55 (six years ago) Permalink

This particular guy, it's all hilarious to me in retrospect, what a silly he was. I later learned a friend of mine had been his first girlfriend in high school. She said the first time they fucked, she made one tiny sound and he said, "How many orgasms was that?"
The presumptuousness is just golden.

Buff Orpington (Abbbottt), Friday, 11 March 2011 01:00 (six years ago) Permalink

that to me is like someone goin "I just made it rain" the moment he nuts....no need to be your own sexual sportscaster thanks

Corbin Bernsen Overdrive (San Te), Friday, 11 March 2011 01:03 (six years ago) Permalink

Worst for me was "I really don't want a girlfriend" it was the panic and fear in his eyes that made it oh so hurtful.

captain rosie, Friday, 11 March 2011 01:51 (six years ago) Permalink

Not said, but one time my then-fuckbuddy ran to the bathroom to throw up once we'd had sex. She was ill though, so I guess it wasn't particularly awful, to me at least. (And it wasn't blowjob-related, in case you were wondering.)

Tuomas, Friday, 11 March 2011 13:19 (six years ago) Permalink

what is the finnish term for 'fuckbuddy'?

mookieproof, Friday, 11 March 2011 13:22 (six years ago) Permalink

There are a few, but I think "vakipano" ("regular fuck") is the most common.

Tuomas, Friday, 11 March 2011 13:24 (six years ago) Permalink

I've been told I was incapable of basic human contact, that was a fun one.

Other than that, I think Johnny Fever OTM about men not complaining much.

go peddle your bullshit somewhere else sister (Laurel), Friday, 11 March 2011 14:59 (six years ago) Permalink

Yea p much a chick could put scorpions on my nips and smear peanut butter on my ass and I'd still be grateful for the opportunity

Corbin Bernsen Overdrive (San Te), Friday, 11 March 2011 16:21 (six years ago) Permalink

Wahaaaa

The Scenario (chrisv2010), Friday, 11 March 2011 16:30 (six years ago) Permalink

you made a mistake

scorpions on my nips and smear peanut butter on my ass (the table is the table), Saturday, 12 March 2011 09:07 (six years ago) Permalink

lol

BIG HOOSIERS aka the Genedriver (San Te), Saturday, 12 March 2011 13:51 (six years ago) Permalink

2 days after me and a friend had got it on we were chatting in a bar and she said "I've definitely decided I'm a lesbian now"

The north-east's Number 2 children's party magician (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 March 2011 13:53 (six years ago) Permalink

??? why the hell would you say that to someone, even if you are thinking it?

BIG HOOSIERS aka the Genedriver (San Te), Saturday, 12 March 2011 13:54 (six years ago) Permalink

lol it was cool really, it was a general convo and I wasn't butthurt. plus I like to think I just spoiled her for men

The north-east's Number 2 children's party magician (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 March 2011 13:56 (six years ago) Permalink

hehe. I s'pose that's ok.

I just remembered where my "just finish up" came from. I had mono at the time and an enlarged spleen (so sholdn't have been having sex to begin with, but well my g/f at the time put it simply "I'm not waiting that long (1-3 months for spleen to heal)".

so naturally it made things quite painful and, well...generally discomfort in the abdominal area tends to uh make it hard to....thrust over and over.

so basically I was having trouble, and she got bored and upset that it was taking so long. and then got mad at me that I didn't tell her 'what i needed' to help me.

HOW ABOUT REDUCING THE SIZE OF MY SPLEEN, BITCH.

BIG HOOSIERS aka the Genedriver (San Te), Saturday, 12 March 2011 14:01 (six years ago) Permalink

i still think the "i'm not waiting that long" bothered me more cuz it was essentially insinuating to me 'if you won't have sex w/ me, i'll have it with someone else' if I didn't put my body at risk. not like we couldn't have done foreplay or nothin ya know!

BIG HOOSIERS aka the Genedriver (San Te), Saturday, 12 March 2011 14:02 (six years ago) Permalink

2 days after me and a friend had got it on we were chatting in a bar and she said "I've definitely decided I'm a lesbian now"

― The north-east's Number 2 children's party magician (Noodle Vague), Saturday, March 12, 2011 1:53 PM (30 minutes ago)

dude i'm bestmanning for in august lost his virginity to a girl that shaved her head and joined LGBT association within the week.

the '' key on my keybord is not working (darraghmac), Saturday, 12 March 2011 14:26 (six years ago) Permalink

when you've been with the best there's really only one option

The north-east's Number 2 children's party magician (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 March 2011 14:41 (six years ago) Permalink

dude didn't even try to front with that shit

the '' key on my keybord is not working (darraghmac), Saturday, 12 March 2011 14:45 (six years ago) Permalink

TO HIS CREDIT, IMO

the '' key on my keybord is not working (darraghmac), Saturday, 12 March 2011 14:45 (six years ago) Permalink

"I used to be a junkie. I can't remember how I got money to buy all that dope. How do you think I got money to buy all that dope?"

I really wouldn't be that bugged about sleeping with a former junkie or former prostitute, but the way she was like trying to make me guess about it was supremely creepy.

Play with human heads instead of playing with balls (kkvgz), Tuesday, 15 March 2011 20:36 (six years ago) Permalink

for a second I thought I was reading the Salem thread

corey, Tuesday, 15 March 2011 21:02 (six years ago) Permalink

xp Dear God, San, you've really had to put up with some really awful women.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Tuesday, 15 March 2011 21:36 (six years ago) Permalink

Urgh, that just made me think about a friend who's an ex-junkie who was a stripper concurrently. afaik there was nothing weird going on on the side, but bleeeeh

mh, Tuesday, 15 March 2011 23:07 (six years ago) Permalink

I was all like "stealing car radios?"

Play with human heads instead of playing with balls (kkvgz), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 12:27 (six years ago) Permalink

five years pass...

'this is awkward. i guess youre not into cuddling'

broke my heart before i could break hers

F♯ A♯ (∞), Friday, 6 January 2017 18:31 (ten months ago) Permalink

"ooh Captain Butler"

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 January 2017 02:35 (ten months ago) Permalink

think i posted this in another thread once but my g/f at the time told me after sex that she had psychic abilities, that she could see her future child and who the father was, and that it wasn't me.

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 02:59 (ten months ago) Permalink

(she frequently talked about her psychic abilities but I'm fairly sure this one was wrong as she's married now and she didn't even KNOW the guy she's married to when she had that 'vision')

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 02:59 (ten months ago) Permalink

Can we get a trigger warning on this thread title

Treeship, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:08 (ten months ago) Permalink

you're serious, aren't you

mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:15 (ten months ago) Permalink

my g/f said sex with me was a trigger 4 her

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:16 (ten months ago) Permalink

[Not for the faint of heart]

F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:19 (ten months ago) Permalink

this is iltmi right

"you're too hairy," from the fist person to ever go down on me. we were both 14. we continued to hook up throughout high school so i guess he became okay w/ it but at 14 i didn't have the self-confidence to shrug off the comment so it affected me a lot, i continued to feel self-conscious about body hair for years. i don't feel that way anymore.

"i want your tongue in me all night," from the first girl i went down on, it was in college, it was awful bc i didn't have all night, i had to leave at 2am to catch a ride to go to a conference at NYU, on latin american political movements. i don't remember anything from the conference except they gave us headphones to hear the panelist's translations. i just remember wishing i didn't leave :/

marcos, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:23 (ten months ago) Permalink

Unfortunate typo or
Deliberate tmi there

F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:25 (ten months ago) Permalink

haha i loled at that too

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:36 (ten months ago) Permalink

lool i had to read my post over a couple of times. unfortunate typo.

marcos, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 04:07 (ten months ago) Permalink

"...they gave us headphones..." Is a Prince-worthy entendre in that context too.

"I must believe that my charm was not in my ass." (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 13 January 2017 23:21 (ten months ago) Permalink

One time I was 22 and I brought a Felt CD over to my boyfriend's house and I was excited to listen to it, put it on, we started making out, and after a few minutes, he said "Could you brush your teeth? and change the music?" He was so surprised when I broke up with him later that week

fgti, Saturday, 14 January 2017 07:38 (ten months ago) Permalink

And but the worst thing I ever said during sex was when it became clear that I shouldn't put my face where I was about to put it and I stopped everything and said "man, you gotta weed your garden"

fgti, Saturday, 14 January 2017 07:39 (ten months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

just caught up here and for some reason imagined marcos attempting to explain, "i can't, i have to leave at 2am to go to a conference at NYU, on latin american political movements!!" without pausing, just attempting to talk with his tongue hanging out of his mouth

mh 😏, Thursday, 9 February 2017 21:10 (nine months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

"Let battle commence!"

This is more like affectionate laughter than horror to be fair. We'd spoken about our mutual enjoyment of Alan Partridge earlier in the evening, and everybody loves a comedy comeback, right?

I can still see the look of embarrassment on his face when it dawned on him that I'd not gotten the reference. Poor, hopeless guy.

Girl with Curious Hair, Thursday, 9 March 2017 20:31 (eight months ago) Permalink

lol xp i missed that

marcos, Thursday, 9 March 2017 20:32 (eight months ago) Permalink


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