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oh man am i jealous, because the best moment of your life is ahead of you, instead of back in 1999 like it is for me. and that moment is when the bridge kicks in:
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open
*goosebumps*
― Karl Malone, Monday, 11 December 2017 17:44 (six years ago) link
one month passes...
four weeks pass...
one month passes...
two weeks pass...
two weeks pass...
one month passes...
three weeks pass...
one month passes...
four weeks pass...
two months pass...
three weeks pass...
My gf is fat and she is getting fatter and fatter. How can I tell her she should lose weight without offenses?
Tell her before she gets a barrel for a body shape. (I am kidding. That's an exaggeration.)
The reason why she is not bothered by her gaining weight, is that she is either not aware of it, or she thinks that you don't mind.
So, let her know that she is gaining weight and that you mind.
Make it casual, over breakfast or something.
You : Honey, how's my omelette?
Gf : Mm, yummy.
You : Blablabla…
Gf : Blablabla…
Blablabla… : Blablabla…
Gf : (Stands to clear the dishes.)
You : That's one big ass you got there. Wait, wait, are you gaining weight?! * That way, it won't seem like you've known it for sometime, but have been afraid of telling it to her, as she looks gross with that weight. Rather, it will seem trivial.*
Gf : (Looks at her ass.) Nah, maybe my ass is just growing, that's all.
You : But, your legs too. And cheeks; they're getting chubby though lovely.
Gf : (Looking at herself.) Oh, f#ck. Yes, looks like I am gaining weight.
You : What do you say we start living more healthily around here.
Gf : As in?
You : Like let's sign up for the gym, cut on junk, etcetera.
Gf : You mean, I look bad this way?! Oh, f#ck!
You : No, no. Not at all, honey. You're as beautiful as always. It is just that I am concerned about your physical fitness and health. Say a snake went after you, how fast can you run? I love you and I can't afford to lose you.
Gf : Love you too. Okay, let's do that right away then. Come to think of it, I've been uncomfortable in a blanket these days. *Fat enables one to conserve more heat.*
Something like that.
― soref, Monday, 4 March 2019 11:54 (five years ago) link