ESPN Baseball Assface of the Week

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Best pitcher of the '90s: Bob Welch?

Riot Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 18:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Kruk needs to take his one ball and go home.

MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

If we make one more John Kruk ball joke, we get fruitcup.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

based on how misinformed he is on wins being wholly the product of pitching performance, I don't blame him for getting teste. he probably thought it was nut that Santana won.

Riot Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

mmmm sweet ambrosia

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 20:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Kruk is nothing if not in a perpetual state of being misinformed. I'm sure he also believes that because Schilling's team won the WS, this "proves" that he's the better pitcher.

MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:06 (nineteen years ago) link

tom candiotti, sidebar to this: It's an honor to be on the Hall of Fame ballot. But I won't ever put myself in the same category as the other guys on the ballot who will make the Hall or come close to making it.

I tend to downplay my career. But being on the ballot gives me the opportunity to look back on my 16 years as a major-league pitcher and realize, hey, I had a pretty good run.

Now, if I had John Kerry's money, I might have a chance to be elected! Seriously, it's great just to be mentioned in the same breath with the other players on the ballot.

One first-time eligible player who stands out is Wade Boggs. The 12-time All-Star has 3,010 hits. That 3,000-hit plateau is a significant accomplishment. Boggs also holds the AL record with seven straight 200-hit seasons.

I faced Boggs often during my career. He came up in 1982, one year before me. He was always a tough out.

Boggs had tremendous bat control, and he would pepper that wall in Fenway Park when he was with the Red Sox.

A little-known fact about Boggs is that, for a position player, he had a pretty good knuckleball.

As a knuckleball pitcher, I could appreciate that. I remember once during a pregame situation Boggs threw the ball toward me — and it was a knuckleball. "How was that?" he asked me. He even threw two-plus innings in two career outings as a pitcher. I called him up after one of those outings and told him, "Hey, good job with your knuckleball."

Boggs was fun to play against. I wish him the best in his candidacy for the Hall of Fame. - this is the kind of insight only a former player can provide.

cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 30 November 2004 05:25 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...
Whoever decided to show us two meaningless Card-Astro games this weekend.

However, I have direcTV and get a whole buncha regional sports nets FREE as a come-on this weekend! Hope Dodgers-Pads-A's, at least...

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 21 September 2006 16:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Those games turned out to be not so meaningless after all. The Cards' magic number hasn't moved in 5 days.

Yeah, the Astros are still a longshot, but this series definetly provided some drama. If nothing else, it made clear that even if the Cardinals hang on and win the division, they're toast in the first round.

boldbury (boldbury), Monday, 25 September 2006 02:38 (seventeen years ago) link

are there really no games on espn until thursday? that just seems really silly, especially with today's heightened-importance astros-phillies matchup.

maura (maura), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:29 (seventeen years ago) link


And get a load of those crucial Thurs games: Yanks-Orioles, Toronto-Detroit. Who handles their scheduling worse, Fox or ESPN?

It's really funny how even Karl freakin' Ravech feels comfortable scoffing at Steve Phillips' "analysis" these days (last week: Chisox make playoffs; yesterday: Dodger veterans "step up" and win them the wild card).

(The Astros are providing a little tease, but the odds are still long. Plus Jeff Brantley is predicting Clemens pitches another meaningful game later this week, so there's the kiss of death.)

even if the Cardinals hang on and win the division, they're toast in the first round

Certainly possible, but again, there's no historical correlation between finishing badly and postseason results.

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:34 (seventeen years ago) link

There is, however, a historical correlation between one's pitching staff sucking Jimmy Dean sausages and getting bounced in the first round.

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:39 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't recall if it was Kruk (who was very animated) or Ravech (who did his best to get the discussion back on track) who said something like "I can't believe you made that about you!" after Phillips began his talk about the Tigers with "Well I'm a Detroiter, I grew up in Detroit, so..."

Andy_K (Andy_K), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh yeah (rejogging memory)...

Phillips: *finshing Tigers ramble* blah blah Leyland blah...

Ravech: John, anything to add to that?

Kruk: *dumbfounded/irritated* Nope.

*laughter from everyone, with Phillips looking a little embarrassed and somewhat pissed*

Andy_K (Andy_K), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Some sentient programmer put Phils-Nats on tonight.

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 27 September 2006 12:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Tino (Seventh Grade Haircut) Martinez: Capenter over Webb for Cy "because he's got his team in the race." Yeah, via two sucky starts.

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 28 September 2006 15:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Ravech: AL MVP?
Kruk/Brantley: Jeter Jeter Jeter
Phillips: Morneau
Kruk/Brantley: WHAT? YOU ARE CRAZY, HE'S NOT CLUTCH

Morneau's stats with RISP this year: .323/.402/.573; .310/.429/.517 with RISP/2 out. Also hitting a reasonably-clutch .299/.343/.540 close/late. Not as sick as Jeter's, but "not clutch" my ass.

Then again, Mauer's hitting .408/.547/.653 with RISP/2 out and is Jeter's superior in almost every conceivable statistic (projected to the same # of ABs or otherwise) except steals and runs scored. (Another overlooked fact: Mauer's 3rd in the AL in intentional walks, behind Ortiz and Guerrero.)

Anyway, I digress from my original point, which is that Kruk and Brantley are idiots and also really unpleasant to look at.

nate p. (natepatrin), Monday, 2 October 2006 13:05 (seventeen years ago) link

haha, Brantley's NL Cy is HARANG.

They're all idiots cept Tim K. And the BBTN Mets' MVP was declared to be Reyes.

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 2 October 2006 13:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Huh. I'm going to be borrowing cable to watch the playoffs - this is what I can expect to be subjected to?

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 2 October 2006 13:24 (seventeen years ago) link

MUTE

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 2 October 2006 13:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Ravvy to Eric Byrnes, rain delay: "What part of Jeter's game would you like to acquire? Is it that aura?" *CLICK*

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 October 2006 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Byrnes looked hilarious, by the way.

polyphonic (polyphonic), Friday, 6 October 2006 16:43 (seventeen years ago) link

byrnes looks like a fat hobbit

gear (gear), Friday, 6 October 2006 17:04 (seventeen years ago) link

In a horrendous three-piece suit with ugly translucent green tie.

polyphonic (polyphonic), Friday, 6 October 2006 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link

i didn't think he was that big?

mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 6 October 2006 17:11 (seventeen years ago) link

You know you want to party with Eric Byrnes in Scottsdale.

Stuh-du-du-du-du-du-du-denka (jingleberries), Friday, 6 October 2006 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

three years pass...

saw some of Mets-Cards at lunch -- who was color guy w/ high-pitched voice?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 25 March 2010 21:00 (fourteen years ago) link

Was it Kruk?

no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Thursday, 25 March 2010 21:20 (fourteen years ago) link

Not unless he had MTF surgery

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 25 March 2010 21:45 (fourteen years ago) link

I read that it was Kruk on color with a female play-by-play person.

no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Thursday, 25 March 2010 22:30 (fourteen years ago) link

I heard it was the kid from Dwight Gooden's car. He's doing Leno tonight too.

sanskrit, Thursday, 25 March 2010 23:14 (fourteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...

This week's award goes to the knucklehead(s) who decided to have the career stats run from latest (at the top) to earliest (at the bottom).

Illwario Alacarte (Andy K), Thursday, 22 April 2010 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

the new round of baseball tonight guys are soooooooo bad -- dave winfield is in contention for top 5 worst espn in-studio analysts in any sport

artie flange (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 22 April 2010 19:56 (fourteen years ago) link

otm

on the plus side, not wanting to give that crap attention anymore frees up a few more minutes in the day

Nom Nom Nom Chomsky (WmC), Thursday, 22 April 2010 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link

JP Rich makes me change the channel real fast.

no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Thursday, 22 April 2010 20:14 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah, JP is like if one of the dudes from 'jersey shore' aged 30 years overnight and then was hired by ESPN

artie flange (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 22 April 2010 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

who is this shithead doing color on Phils-Braves? First guess was EriC Byrnes -- is it Chris Singleton?

"Carlos Ruiz is a winning player"

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 2 June 2010 01:05 (thirteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

30 seconds of listening to Curt Schilling = may the Red Sox lose forever

the gay bloggers are onto the faggot tweets (Dr Morbius), Friday, 20 May 2011 02:56 (twelve years ago) link

seven years pass...

"Is there anything more obnoxious than a bachelorette party at the ballpark?" -- ESPN announcer Matt Vasgersian during the Cards-Cubs game.

— John Ourand (@Ourand_SBJ) July 20, 2018

mookieproof, Friday, 20 July 2018 04:50 (five years ago) link

a bachelor party i suppose

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Friday, 20 July 2018 11:07 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

vasgergian is Bad
a-rod is okay but gets repetitive and i don't really like his voice
mendoza is fine but can't get a word in when a-rod keeps going on about how larry rothschild needs to go out there and calm him down

mookieproof, Monday, 6 August 2018 13:07 (five years ago) link

Mendoza spoke at the Saberseminar this weekend, and she said her first year the producer went over her performance with her exhaustively on Monday or Tuesday. I wonder if A-Rod got the same treatment?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 August 2018 14:03 (five years ago) link

i'd like to give them something of a pass as the pace of that game was excrutiating. arod needs to be less of a motormouth and vasgergian needs to actually take the reins of the conversation sometimes.

call all destroyer, Monday, 6 August 2018 14:14 (five years ago) link

vasgersian has a nice voice. I love A rod and mendoza, they actually like baseball which is a plus

k3vin k., Monday, 6 August 2018 14:21 (five years ago) link

i'm sure a-rod gets the same treatment -- everything i've seen talks about how eager to learn he is. and he is pretty good considering he's never done it before

vasgergian does have a nice voice. but looool at 'don't look now, but the yankees are bringing the tying run to the plate' in the top of the ninth when the yanks were *up* three. also i don't really trust dudes who go for the meticulous unshaven look

mookieproof, Monday, 6 August 2018 14:40 (five years ago) link


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