Round 13

LIONS - Clicking ominously into gear. No worries playing at Cardigan Park either

CARLTON - all been said. New CEO at Tigerland: one Steve Wright, appropriately named Akela for the AFL's Easybeats

PORT - their best is far better. If Freo give this mob a 38 point start there's no way back

ROOS - though Canberra should suit the Westies with its severe height restrictions and aversion to straight roads. Both sides are mediocre, Eagles more often worse

ESSENDON - It must catch up with Demons sometime. Dons will come out hard after being shown up last week

WB's - Take Carey and Stevens out of an already patchy side and you've got problems. Focus after last week the only worry for Dogs, the venue holds very few fears

So he's used to managing events which feature a whole crowd of over-rated, over-priced articles that go round and round in circles but never actually get anywhere, and make a whole lot of noise and blow a whole heap of hot air in the process.

St Kilda by 90 points.

Cornflakes bursts into the team meeting and says 'Yippee!. We can leave the raincoats at home!!' Yes, the Saints are back in their familiar comfort zone and should account for a sorry Hawthorn unit. Dermott Brereton again tells the Hawks to draw a line in the sand but the surface is much better these days and while the Hawks are looking for the sand the Sainters go on a scoring rampage.

Brisbane by 23 points.

Most of this young Cat lineup are in bed well before the start of the horror movies and as such have little experience in combatting a side that likes to monster its opponents. Geelong have conceeded more free kicks than any side in the league so when we get bullied, the teacher doesn't come running and few do it as well as the Lions. Matty Scarlett will blanket Daniel Bradshaw as his massive mop of unruly hair obscures the talented Lion's vision but the kings of the jungle have multiple goalscoring options. The Cats may be the future article but the time for the Lions, unfortunately is still now. Maybe next year.

Carlton by 19 points.

1982 will seem like 22 years ago as Brendon Fevola has another day out and Richmond are caught short when the cunning Denis Pagan puts all six defenders on Matthew Richardson in a sub standard match. The Tigers kick it to him anyway and the final score is Carlton 9.11.65 (Fevola 8) to Richmond 6.10.46 (Richardson 4.8). Richo gets the Brownlow votes for grabbing ten marks on six blokes but it's the Blues who get the chocolates. Kudos to the AWFUL for making sure this fixture only occurs once a season.

Port by 68 points.

Port always get excited when they see Freo on the fixture list because they have the wood on them. Freo made a spectacle of itself when it went scoreless against the Tigers in the first quarter last week. Port have copped plenty of flak for their Western Bulldog-like finals performances in recent years but at this time of year they are a side to be feared. With a few players coming back once again Subi will be the 'House of Gain' for the Poower.

Kangaroos by 27 points.

The Roos should be able to keep the E-girls on the hop out at a frozen Manuka in front of Benno and eleven other spectators. Dean Mumbles is fair dinkum this week -Corey is out of the side but Sav remains to bang on a few sausage rolls. Some are saying the E-girls play alright at Canberra but this week they won't be able to fugg up the Cats finals chances so they are gone. The Roos are playing well in patches and should be able to sew up the four points and Skippy away from West Coast on the ladder.

Western Bulldogs by 11 points.

The Bullies will add another Blackbird scalp to thier muzzle as they jag bark to bark victories despite Nigel Notso's fairywell match. The Cows will dig deep but it will be udderly useless as the Dogs get a real sniff of respectablity. Brad Johnson returns for the Dogs but he won't get a kick because he spends the whole match looking for Cameron Mooney. No Carey, No Stevens, No hope. The Cows will milk it for all it's worth but they don't have the cattle in this match.

Essendon by 23 points.

I reckon by this week the fire may just have gone out of the Demons. They have had a hellish draw in recent weeks, slugging it out from coast to coast in inclement conditions that sap the strength out of the legs. The D's wil be slow so the Bombers might actually be able to catch some of them ha ha. Essendon have copped plenty all year about thier inability to win against the better sides and won't let this opportunity slip. This week Nutter Sheedy keeps his jacket on but there is a not so subtle message on the back...remember 2000....and they will.

Collingwood by 14 points.

Cripes. Even when the Pies do have to venture away from Vicland they still get a big slurp out of the sauce bottle. While many enjoy Pies and Sauce some are wondering why it is exactly that the entire nation is almost forced to watch this match in record numbers. Are the Pies really struggling for sponsorship so much that the AWFUL has to rig the draw like this? Another thing in the Pies favour is that the Swans always seem to dive at the Olympic stadium but unlike Matty Lloyd this does not help the side. The Swans haven't got it together this year (except in the Saints match) and the Pies showed plenty of heart last week but need to extend that effort for another quarter. Both teams have some injuries and need the rest but both sides may be resting at the Gold Coast this September. Yes. One spot is free.

regards,

REB

PS - Susso you wuss, tell us your Don's tip :)

And its live on telly. Now, again, why would you go and watch this match???

That's right holidays on the Sunshine Coast, yet they complain when they have to travel up here to play - FFS! Or will they claim this is one of their travel away from the MCG trips as well as then going to Sydney!

(Unless by the time September's here they ain't....)

Correct, Fred. The premiers will come from this group: Brisbane, St Kilda, Melbourne, Geelong and Port Adelaide. The rest may as well prepare for next year.

regards,

REB