101 Things Everybody Knows About The AFL

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1. A dodgy umpiring decision 15 mins into the first quarter can directly affect the result of a match, regardless of the final margin. The mental strength of the team can never become the issue when this happens.

2. Every beaten preliminary finalist who gets within eight goals of their opponent might have won the premiership if they'd got through the PF. If the margin is under three goals, change the 'might' to 'would'.

3. In the national draft, pick #1 should turn out twice as good as #2, who in turn should be twice the player #4 is and so on. Which means there was some kid picked up in 1990 who should have been 79 times as good as James Hird.

4. There are two r's in 'tribuneral'. The first n in 'Essendon' is silent.

And so on....Your contributions to the AFL Bible welcome.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

5. You are nobody in football, no matter how many premierships you've played in, Brownlows you've won, or All Australian sides you've been named in, if you haven't had a nickname given to you by Rex Hunt.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

6. Peter McKenna had no ground skills and could barely mark over his head. Len Thompson was a flop in finals. Craig Bradley never laid a tackle. The late Trevor Barker was a flashy show-pony whose game lacked hardness. Each Krakouer was hopeless when the other wasn't playing. They had to change the rules to combat Kevin Bartlett. Mark Jackson was a footballer.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

7. After the end of July if teams 1, 2 or 3 on the ladder do not beat teams 14, 15 or 16 on the ladder by 10 goals or more its due to them, "not being switched on for the game", "and maybe taking the underdogs a little lightly". For the bottom teams its a "good performance against quality opposition" and "some hope for the suffering suporters for the future".

8. The losing team's mid-field is always slower and not as strong as the winning teams.

― Big Bird (Big Bird), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

9. Nathan Buckley left the Brisbane Bears to play finals footy - he got his wish!

― Lucy Lion (Lucy Lion), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

9. Goal umpires in Perth and Adelaide must always have a thick, bristling moustache (exceptions given for female goal umpires, who should sport a fe-mo...)

― Bennö (Bennö), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

10. The way to best advance your club's interests at the October 'meat market' is to telegraph all your intentions through the media, make ambit claims and chase anything that moves.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

So Fred is it a draft pick your after or a date?

― Lucy Lion (Lucy Lion), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

11. Non-Victorian teams are always the victim.

― chrisso (chrisso), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

12. St Kilda would have won the 1978 Premiership if they had made the finals. This is true despite the Saints finishing last the year before and last the year after. At the end of that 78 season the future at Linton Street seemed so promising that only about 16 senior players left the club over the summer.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

13 Essendon would have won the flag in 1990 if they didn't have to wait three weeks before their first finals game after the home & home matches.

― chrisso (chrisso), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

14. When Sheedy starts playing 'Us v Them', the rest of the AFL cacks itself.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

15. And not laughing either.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

16 In the finals, you can loose home ground advantage because your not based in Victoria.

17 Any travel to a game over 80ks is an interstate trip.

― Big Bird (Big Bird), Friday, 20 August 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

18 The A in AFL stands for Australian - it is not an inverted V.

― Big Bird (Big Bird), Friday, 20 August 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

19. Crackers Keenan may look and sound like a big-noting clown but underneath it he has a very astute football brain. Collingwood would not have won the premiership in 1990 without him.

20. Allan McAllister may look and sound like a big-noting clown but underneath it he has a very astute football brain. Collingwood would not have won the premiership in 1990 without him.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

21. Before Barassi in 1965 it was unheard of for players to change clubs.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

22. Teddy Hopkins only played one good game of footy.

23 Billy Brownless never played a bad preliminary final.

― Big Bird (Big Bird), Friday, 20 August 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

24. No matter how late or how big the Port match is that weekend, you can always* walk up and get a ticket to AAMI stadium at a Port home match.

*OK, not in Showdowns...

25. Showdowns and Derbys are more important than a seasons result.

― Bennö (Bennö), Friday, 20 August 2004 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

26. Until quite recently Geelong had a long-standing sponsorship agreement with Bryant and May, and one of its conditions was that there were always at least three red-heads in the Geelong senior team. A few years ago Essendon tried to introduce a similar policy to promote their colors by recruiting as many players as they could who were either Aboriginal or flame-heads.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 04:33 (twenty-one years ago)

27 Until moving to Waverly, the lease agreement for the Moorabin ground required St Kilda to water the cricket pitch all winter, regardless of the rainfall during the week.

― Big Bird (Big Bird), Friday, 20 August 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

28 800,000$ is the difference between a very good team and a great one.

― chrisso (chrisso), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

29. Collingwood and Essendon instituted the Traditional Anzac Day Blockbuster immediately WW1 ended and the fixture has been set in stone ever since.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 09:04 (twenty-one years ago)

30. Carlton are still an AFL super-power.

― chrisso (chrisso), Friday, 20 August 2004 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

31. Essendon are a September Institution.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

32. Umpiring decisions will consistently be inconsistent.

33. Regardless of the free kick count, the opposition team would have scored more than 1/2 their goals either directly or indirectly from those free kicks. While your team's goals were all from just plain old hard work.

― Hawka (hawka), Friday, 20 August 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

34. A goal that ensues five minutes, 20 possessions and two turnovers each way after an obvious free kick in the back pocket, falls comfortably within the definition of 'indirect' for the purposes of Rule 33.

35. Any disparity against your team in the free kick count is the fault of the umpires, and never the fault of your team's tackling technique, approach or attitude.

36. Any free against your side in front of the opposition social club stand was given because the umpire crapped himself. Same ump, same free in front of your social club: the ump is trying to be a hero.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 20 August 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

37. Carlton v Collingwood is the most important match of round 22.

38. 'Blockbuster' shouldn't be spelt with a second L straight after the second B.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:48 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

39. In the second week of the finals, the last-start winner who plays the last-start loser is always entitled to start as overwhelming favorite, despite entering the finals in a lower spot having won less H&A matches.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Sunday, 5 September 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

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