Orphan finds that life is magical, but not all fun and games. In fact, it’s a downright pain at times. And sometimes quite terrifying.
― emerritous, Tuesday, 2 March 2004 19:16 (twenty years ago) link
Leopold Bloom wanders around Dublin, reminisces, frets about Molly's adultery, eats, tries to make a buck, masturbates. Crosses paths with Stephen Dedalus. Molly masturbates. Yes!
― Glenn Davis, Tuesday, 2 March 2004 20:23 (twenty years ago) link
― Tim Hutari, Tuesday, 2 March 2004 23:06 (twenty years ago) link
Young man damaged by war, hangs out with coal miners, farmers, prostitutes, yogis. Enlightenment ensues. Ex-girlfriend still pissed.
― bob, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 01:43 (twenty years ago) link
Self-conscious med student falls for waitress. Everyone knows she's going to use him, which she does. Repeatedly. He ends up happy, despite never going to Spain.
I'm Jean-Baptiste. Modern man: fornicates and reads the paper. I did too, now I'm conceited. Did I mention I let a woman drown? My bad.
― cunctipotent cunctator, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 01:55 (twenty years ago) link
Think rebellious thoughts, drink, hide from TV, drink, snog [more dumb than revolutionary] redhead, drink, hate BB, drink, get rats on face, love BB, drink.
― Virginia McCarthy, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 02:22 (twenty years ago) link
I am the boss. Do exactly as I say. Don’t think. Be good until I tell you to kill, then act like it didn’t happen.
― aha, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 04:27 (twenty years ago) link
I just don't get the doppelganger thing at all ...
― captain gay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:13 (twenty years ago) link
:::?human experiment subject / concentration camp escapee singlehandedly challenges british dystopia; conscientiously objecting intuitive cop takes LSD to track him down; vi veri veniversum vivus vici.
― vi2pr8r, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:19 (twenty years ago) link
Dad SUUUUUCKS! Grandpa sucks. These weird eater people suck. Being a resident sucks. My kid sucks. Thinks I suck. Acid sucks. This ending sucks.
― captain gay, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:41 (twenty years ago) link
Witches covenent decides to kill all English children with cursed sweets that turn them into mice and kill them in mousetraps. Cursed mouse-boy recalls tale.
mouse-boy is one, hyphenated word. shut up. shut-up.
― Bog, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 06:51 (twenty years ago) link
"Life is many days. This will end"
― B. Michael Payne (This Isnt That), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 07:12 (twenty years ago) link
A Native Angeleno drives LA's freeways, experiences the City, recalls his past, finds true love (and himself), and reveals the metropolis's true nature.
― D. Winchell, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 15:53 (twenty years ago) link
Thomas More blueskies a creepy, sixteenth-century Singapore, radically re-inventing society. (Later executed for conservative views.)
― Nigel Burke, Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:28 (twenty years ago) link
Buggery by numbers
― Nigel Burke (Nigel Burke), Thursday, 4 March 2004 01:36 (twenty years ago) link
Winston Smith does his job. Listens to Will Young in the pub.Then appears on pilot for 'I'm a celebrity' doesn't get out.Gets very depresssed, can't trust anyone again. Julia was a bitch.
― manc_frank, Thursday, 4 March 2004 08:12 (twenty years ago) link
http://www.guardian.co.uk/online/webwatch/
― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Thursday, 4 March 2004 11:31 (twenty years ago) link
― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 4 March 2004 12:26 (twenty years ago) link
Scott, scroll down for the top referrals ever bit (Metafilter, basically).
― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:19 (twenty years ago) link
Woah, too many characters! Best make poem 1500 pages long. Stab, charge, slaughter! Rivers of blood ensue.
(or: Dynasty for the Renaissance)
― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:37 (twenty years ago) link
Northerner, Southerner, draw territorial line across America, slaves, talking dogs, robot ducks, murderous intentions, hissy fits, and then they all die. It is sad.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:44 (twenty years ago) link
― ziggy, Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:53 (twenty years ago) link
Simple concept becomes popular. Loads of new people contribute. 300 posts and still going strong. Mention in the Guardian. Guardian Readers contribute. Thread dies.
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:11 (twenty years ago) link
Man hunts androids, illegally on earth to lengthen their pre-programmed short, doomed lives. Kills three, falls in love with the fourth. Short-lived.
― Margo B99, Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:00 (twenty years ago) link
― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago) link
― Ihavewonthevictoryovermyself, Thursday, 4 March 2004 18:51 (twenty years ago) link
That's a one word description of Fight Club.
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:51 (twenty years ago) link
(Paraphrasing an earlier post) The first rule of Fight Club is you don't summarise Fight Club.
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:53 (twenty years ago) link
Guess what? People suck in any shape or form.
Gulliver's Travels
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:58 (twenty years ago) link
Mason & Dixon by Thomas Pynchon
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 20:05 (twenty years ago) link
Its hot, my mother dies, its hot, I kill someone, its really hot, I get sentenced to death. Who cares? I do. Or do I?
― The Campbell, Thursday, 4 March 2004 20:28 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:03 (twenty years ago) link
Dude is really confused about stuff. Sage reveals all, except more weird stuff happens. Dude gets really freaked out, and goes and gets a Coke.
― RodgerDodgertheLeopardSkinnedLodger, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:31 (twenty years ago) link
German WW1 soldier is really hungry and miserable. Gets shot at, but has some good sociable craps in the sunshine with his mates. Goes home.
― RodgerDodgertheLeopardSkinnedLodger, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:37 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:42 (twenty years ago) link
(Kafka, The Trial)
― paul trevor, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:53 (twenty years ago) link
Hey, the ape can talk! And he thinks that by speaking elliptically I will learn how to live righteously in the world. God, he’s smart! (D. Quinn’s Ishmael)
Life as a World War II orphan is grim, but I survive savage landscapes like a medieval fairy tale character without a ‘happily ever after’. (J. Kosinski’s The Painted Bird)
― Illiteratti, Thursday, 4 March 2004 22:15 (twenty years ago) link
― Katelynne, Friday, 5 March 2004 00:32 (twenty years ago) link
-- The Sun Also Rises
― beerzieboy, Friday, 5 March 2004 02:03 (twenty years ago) link
-- Woolf, To the Lighthouse
― beerzieboy, Friday, 5 March 2004 02:06 (twenty years ago) link
― andrewandrewanderw, Friday, 5 March 2004 03:19 (twenty years ago) link
A skinhead Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
ACT I SCENE IThe battlements of Elsinore Castle.Enter HAMLET, followed by GHOST.GHOST: Oi! Mush!HAMLET: Yer?GHOST: I was fucked!(Exit GHOST.)HAMLET: O Fuck.(Exit HAMLET.) SCENE IIThe Throneroom.Enter KING CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, HAMLET and COURT.CLAUDIUS: Oi! You, Hamlet, give over!HAMLET: Fuck off, won't you?(Exit CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, COURT.)HAMLET: (Alone) They could have fucking waited.(Enter HORATIO.)HORATIO: Oi! Watcha cock fuck!HAMLET: Weeeeey!(Exeunt.)SCENE IIIOphelia's Bedroom.Enter OPHELIA and LAERTES.LAERTES: I'm fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn't slip you one while I'm gone.OPHELIA: I'll be fucked if he does.(Exeunt.)SCENE IVThe Battlements.Enter HORATIO, HAMLET and GHOST.GHOST: Oi! Mush, get on with it!HAMLET: Who did it then?GHOST: That wanker Claudius. He poured fucking poison in my fucking ear!HAMLET: Fuck me!(Exeunt.)ACT II SCENE IA corridor in the castle.Enter HAMLET reading. Enter POLONIUS.POLONIUS: Oi! You!HAMLET: Fuck off, grandad!(Exit POLONIUS. Enter ROSENCRANZ and GUILDENSTERN.)ROS & GUILD: Oi! Oi! Mucca!HAMLET: Fuck off, the pair of you!(Exit ROS & GUILD.)HAMLET: (Alone) To fuck or be fucked.(Enter OPHELIA.)OPHELIA: My Lord!HAMLET: Fuck off to a nunnery!(The exit in different directions.)ACT III SCENE IThe Throne Room.Enter PLAYERS and all COURT.I PLAYER: Full thirty times hath Phoebus cart...CLAUDIUS: I'll be fucked if I watch any more of this crap.(Exeunt.)SCENE IIGertrude's Bedchamber.Enter HAMLET, to GERTRUDE.HAMLET: Oi! Slag!GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!POLONIUS: (From behind the curtain) Too right.HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?(He stabs POLONIUS through the fucking arras.)POLONIUS: Fuck!HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.(Exeunt.)ACT IV SCENE IA Court Room.CLAUDIUS: Fuck off to England then!HAMLET: Delighted, mush.SCENE IIThe Throne Room.OPHELIA, GERTRUDE and CLAUDIUS.OPHELIA: Here, cop a whack of this.(She hands GERTRUDE some fucking rosemary and exits.)CLAUDIUS: She's fucking round the twist, isn't she?GERTRUDE: (Looking out the window) There is a willow grows aslant the brook.CLAUDIUS: Get on with it, slag.GERTRUDE: Ophelia's gone and fucking drowned!CLAUDIUS: Fuck! Laertes isn't half going to be browned off.(Exeunt.)SCENE IIIA Corridor.LAERTES: (Alone) I'm going to fucking do this lot.(Enter CLAUDIUS.)CLAUDIUS: I didn't fucking do it, mate. It was that wanker Hamlet.LAERTES: Well, fuck him.ACT V SCENE IHamlet's Bedchamber.HAMLET and HORATIO seated.HAMLET: I got this feeling I'm going to cop it, Horatio, and you know, I couldn't give a flying fuck.(Exeunt.)SCENE IILarge Hall.Enter HAMLET, LAERTES, COURT, GERTRUDE, CLAUDIUS.LAERTES: Oi, wanker: let's get on with it.HAMLET: Delighted, fuckface.(They fight and both are poisoned by the poisoned sword.)LAERTES: Fuck!HAMLET: Fuck!(The QUEEN drinks.)GERTRUDE: Fucking odd wine!CLAUDIUS: You drunk the wrong fucking cup, you stupid cow!HAMLET: (Pouring the poison down CLAUDIUS'S throat)Well, fuck you!CLAUDIUS: I'm fair and squarely fucked.LAERTES: Oi, mush: no hard feelings, eh?HAMLET: Yer.(LAERTES dies.)HAMLET: Oi! Horatio!HORATIO: Yer?HAMLET: I'm fucked. The rest is fucking silence.(HAMLET dies.)HORATIO: Fuck: that was no ordinary wanker, you know.(Enter FORTINBRAS.)FORTINBRAS: What the fuck's going on here?HORATIO: A fucking mess, that's for sure.FORTINBRAS: No kidding. I see Hamlet's fucked.HORATIO: Yer.FORTINBRAS: Fucking shame: fucking good bloke.HORATIO: Too fucking right.FORTINBRAS: Fuck this for a lark then. Let's piss off.(Exeunt with alarums.)
― Bill Shakes, Friday, 5 March 2004 05:12 (twenty years ago) link
The ship's surgeon was a spotty, unshaven little fake. So is everyone else. Wyatt kills Brown. Stanley brings down the house.
― Pavel Jerdanovitch, Friday, 5 March 2004 06:37 (twenty years ago) link
Karass, my ass! Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
― Tagggart Hodge, Friday, 5 March 2004 07:14 (twenty years ago) link
― Martin Pratt, Friday, 5 March 2004 08:20 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Friday, 5 March 2004 15:56 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Friday, 5 March 2004 17:35 (twenty years ago) link
― victor alisbani, Friday, 5 March 2004 17:47 (twenty years ago) link