Scott, scroll down for the top referrals ever bit (Metafilter, basically).
― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:19 (twenty years ago) link
Woah, too many characters! Best make poem 1500 pages long. Stab, charge, slaughter! Rivers of blood ensue.
(or: Dynasty for the Renaissance)
― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:37 (twenty years ago) link
Northerner, Southerner, draw territorial line across America, slaves, talking dogs, robot ducks, murderous intentions, hissy fits, and then they all die. It is sad.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:44 (twenty years ago) link
― ziggy, Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:53 (twenty years ago) link
Simple concept becomes popular. Loads of new people contribute. 300 posts and still going strong. Mention in the Guardian. Guardian Readers contribute. Thread dies.
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 4 March 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:11 (twenty years ago) link
Man hunts androids, illegally on earth to lengthen their pre-programmed short, doomed lives. Kills three, falls in love with the fourth. Short-lived.
― Margo B99, Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:00 (twenty years ago) link
― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago) link
― Ihavewonthevictoryovermyself, Thursday, 4 March 2004 18:51 (twenty years ago) link
That's a one word description of Fight Club.
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:51 (twenty years ago) link
(Paraphrasing an earlier post) The first rule of Fight Club is you don't summarise Fight Club.
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:53 (twenty years ago) link
Guess what? People suck in any shape or form.
Gulliver's Travels
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 19:58 (twenty years ago) link
Mason & Dixon by Thomas Pynchon
― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 4 March 2004 20:05 (twenty years ago) link
Its hot, my mother dies, its hot, I kill someone, its really hot, I get sentenced to death. Who cares? I do. Or do I?
― The Campbell, Thursday, 4 March 2004 20:28 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:03 (twenty years ago) link
Dude is really confused about stuff. Sage reveals all, except more weird stuff happens. Dude gets really freaked out, and goes and gets a Coke.
― RodgerDodgertheLeopardSkinnedLodger, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:31 (twenty years ago) link
German WW1 soldier is really hungry and miserable. Gets shot at, but has some good sociable craps in the sunshine with his mates. Goes home.
― RodgerDodgertheLeopardSkinnedLodger, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:37 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:42 (twenty years ago) link
(Kafka, The Trial)
― paul trevor, Thursday, 4 March 2004 21:53 (twenty years ago) link
Hey, the ape can talk! And he thinks that by speaking elliptically I will learn how to live righteously in the world. God, he’s smart! (D. Quinn’s Ishmael)
Life as a World War II orphan is grim, but I survive savage landscapes like a medieval fairy tale character without a ‘happily ever after’. (J. Kosinski’s The Painted Bird)
― Illiteratti, Thursday, 4 March 2004 22:15 (twenty years ago) link
― Katelynne, Friday, 5 March 2004 00:32 (twenty years ago) link
-- The Sun Also Rises
― beerzieboy, Friday, 5 March 2004 02:03 (twenty years ago) link
-- Woolf, To the Lighthouse
― beerzieboy, Friday, 5 March 2004 02:06 (twenty years ago) link
― andrewandrewanderw, Friday, 5 March 2004 03:19 (twenty years ago) link
A skinhead Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
ACT I SCENE IThe battlements of Elsinore Castle.Enter HAMLET, followed by GHOST.GHOST: Oi! Mush!HAMLET: Yer?GHOST: I was fucked!(Exit GHOST.)HAMLET: O Fuck.(Exit HAMLET.) SCENE IIThe Throneroom.Enter KING CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, HAMLET and COURT.CLAUDIUS: Oi! You, Hamlet, give over!HAMLET: Fuck off, won't you?(Exit CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, COURT.)HAMLET: (Alone) They could have fucking waited.(Enter HORATIO.)HORATIO: Oi! Watcha cock fuck!HAMLET: Weeeeey!(Exeunt.)SCENE IIIOphelia's Bedroom.Enter OPHELIA and LAERTES.LAERTES: I'm fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn't slip you one while I'm gone.OPHELIA: I'll be fucked if he does.(Exeunt.)SCENE IVThe Battlements.Enter HORATIO, HAMLET and GHOST.GHOST: Oi! Mush, get on with it!HAMLET: Who did it then?GHOST: That wanker Claudius. He poured fucking poison in my fucking ear!HAMLET: Fuck me!(Exeunt.)ACT II SCENE IA corridor in the castle.Enter HAMLET reading. Enter POLONIUS.POLONIUS: Oi! You!HAMLET: Fuck off, grandad!(Exit POLONIUS. Enter ROSENCRANZ and GUILDENSTERN.)ROS & GUILD: Oi! Oi! Mucca!HAMLET: Fuck off, the pair of you!(Exit ROS & GUILD.)HAMLET: (Alone) To fuck or be fucked.(Enter OPHELIA.)OPHELIA: My Lord!HAMLET: Fuck off to a nunnery!(The exit in different directions.)ACT III SCENE IThe Throne Room.Enter PLAYERS and all COURT.I PLAYER: Full thirty times hath Phoebus cart...CLAUDIUS: I'll be fucked if I watch any more of this crap.(Exeunt.)SCENE IIGertrude's Bedchamber.Enter HAMLET, to GERTRUDE.HAMLET: Oi! Slag!GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!POLONIUS: (From behind the curtain) Too right.HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?(He stabs POLONIUS through the fucking arras.)POLONIUS: Fuck!HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.(Exeunt.)ACT IV SCENE IA Court Room.CLAUDIUS: Fuck off to England then!HAMLET: Delighted, mush.SCENE IIThe Throne Room.OPHELIA, GERTRUDE and CLAUDIUS.OPHELIA: Here, cop a whack of this.(She hands GERTRUDE some fucking rosemary and exits.)CLAUDIUS: She's fucking round the twist, isn't she?GERTRUDE: (Looking out the window) There is a willow grows aslant the brook.CLAUDIUS: Get on with it, slag.GERTRUDE: Ophelia's gone and fucking drowned!CLAUDIUS: Fuck! Laertes isn't half going to be browned off.(Exeunt.)SCENE IIIA Corridor.LAERTES: (Alone) I'm going to fucking do this lot.(Enter CLAUDIUS.)CLAUDIUS: I didn't fucking do it, mate. It was that wanker Hamlet.LAERTES: Well, fuck him.ACT V SCENE IHamlet's Bedchamber.HAMLET and HORATIO seated.HAMLET: I got this feeling I'm going to cop it, Horatio, and you know, I couldn't give a flying fuck.(Exeunt.)SCENE IILarge Hall.Enter HAMLET, LAERTES, COURT, GERTRUDE, CLAUDIUS.LAERTES: Oi, wanker: let's get on with it.HAMLET: Delighted, fuckface.(They fight and both are poisoned by the poisoned sword.)LAERTES: Fuck!HAMLET: Fuck!(The QUEEN drinks.)GERTRUDE: Fucking odd wine!CLAUDIUS: You drunk the wrong fucking cup, you stupid cow!HAMLET: (Pouring the poison down CLAUDIUS'S throat)Well, fuck you!CLAUDIUS: I'm fair and squarely fucked.LAERTES: Oi, mush: no hard feelings, eh?HAMLET: Yer.(LAERTES dies.)HAMLET: Oi! Horatio!HORATIO: Yer?HAMLET: I'm fucked. The rest is fucking silence.(HAMLET dies.)HORATIO: Fuck: that was no ordinary wanker, you know.(Enter FORTINBRAS.)FORTINBRAS: What the fuck's going on here?HORATIO: A fucking mess, that's for sure.FORTINBRAS: No kidding. I see Hamlet's fucked.HORATIO: Yer.FORTINBRAS: Fucking shame: fucking good bloke.HORATIO: Too fucking right.FORTINBRAS: Fuck this for a lark then. Let's piss off.(Exeunt with alarums.)
― Bill Shakes, Friday, 5 March 2004 05:12 (twenty years ago) link
The ship's surgeon was a spotty, unshaven little fake. So is everyone else. Wyatt kills Brown. Stanley brings down the house.
― Pavel Jerdanovitch, Friday, 5 March 2004 06:37 (twenty years ago) link
Karass, my ass! Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
― Tagggart Hodge, Friday, 5 March 2004 07:14 (twenty years ago) link
― Martin Pratt, Friday, 5 March 2004 08:20 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Friday, 5 March 2004 15:56 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Friday, 5 March 2004 17:35 (twenty years ago) link
― victor alisbani, Friday, 5 March 2004 17:47 (twenty years ago) link
Y'all are one serious buzzkill. I'm out.
― sixlayerkate, Friday, 5 March 2004 19:28 (twenty years ago) link
― Illiteratti, Friday, 5 March 2004 21:03 (twenty years ago) link
― Alexandra, Friday, 5 March 2004 22:56 (twenty years ago) link
--James Frey, A Million Little Pieces
― captain gay, Friday, 5 March 2004 23:41 (twenty years ago) link
Wouldn't you like to know!(Kafka, The Castle)
― captain gay, Friday, 5 March 2004 23:49 (twenty years ago) link
>> Wouldn't you like to know!>> (Kafka, The Castle)
I'm, like, sooo out of here.(Kafka, America)
― PuzzleMonkey, Saturday, 6 March 2004 11:26 (twenty years ago) link
Hamlet
― PuzzleMonkey (PuzzleMonkey), Saturday, 6 March 2004 11:42 (twenty years ago) link
Oedipus Rexby James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George DuPree (age 3)
― PuzzleMonkey (PuzzleMonkey), Saturday, 6 March 2004 12:21 (twenty years ago) link
The End.
― PuzzleMonkey (PuzzleMonkey), Saturday, 6 March 2004 12:38 (twenty years ago) link
ugly guy falls in love with beautiful lady. she turns him down. this goes on for years. eventually, the deserve each other.
― jimshon, Sunday, 7 March 2004 12:24 (twenty years ago) link
Monkey-faced mockney regurgitates cooking ideas established long ago by greater chefs, but is worshipped for saying "pukka" repeatedly. Sits back and waits for advertising deals.
― Pip Jones, Sunday, 7 March 2004 23:07 (twenty years ago) link
OR
a knyght ther waf, his sone, yeman, frere, monk, marchant, millere, nonne, doctour of phyfic, sergeant of lawe, and the refte, sharing smalltalk while traveling.
"a compaignye of sondry folk, by aventure yfalle in felaweshipe, and pilgrimes were they alle that toward Caunterbury wolden ryde . . . ech . . . telles tales tweye"
― vi2pr8r, Tuesday, 9 March 2004 07:45 (twenty years ago) link
Crap.My bitch's dead-ill goto the future so theres a story and get some shit answer and stay in the future
― shit head, Tuesday, 9 March 2004 15:47 (twenty years ago) link
Does exactly what it says on the tin
― , Tuesday, 9 March 2004 19:33 (twenty years ago) link
Oi, wanker.
― Bill Shakes, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 01:42 (twenty years ago) link
"Mostly Harmless." Earth is a supercomputer ruled by mice. Earth explodes but another is made. Repeatedly saving the universe, towels, time/galaxy travel, odd things.
― Eric, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 03:08 (twenty years ago) link
― ScroobiousPip, Thursday, 11 March 2004 06:59 (twenty years ago) link
― MaRcIo, Thursday, 11 March 2004 21:41 (twenty years ago) link
― Cathryn (Cathryn), Friday, 12 March 2004 10:43 (twenty years ago) link