"A Tiger? In Africa???"
― Joseph Gurney, Monday, 22 March 2004 17:21 (twenty years ago) link
"Blimey! I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!"
― Joseph Gurney, Monday, 22 March 2004 17:25 (twenty years ago) link
"But what have the Romans ever done for us?"
― Joseph Gurney, Monday, 22 March 2004 17:26 (twenty years ago) link
"It has shuffled off this mortal coil, and joined the choir invisible" etc etc etc
― Joseph Gurney, Monday, 22 March 2004 17:29 (twenty years ago) link
TrainspottingScottish kids take drugs, kick drugs, have sex, rob each other and swear a lot.
GlueOther Scottish kids take drugs, have sex, fight, catch AIDS and swear a lot.
PornoAll the Scottish kids, now grown up, take drugs, have sex on camera, rob each other and swear a lot.
― Matt Ian, Monday, 22 March 2004 23:11 (twenty years ago) link
Add some zombies and this'd make a really good Johnny Depp movie, in 20 years time.
― Andy Macc, Tuesday, 23 March 2004 08:55 (twenty years ago) link
Dad. Stop it. Aargh.
― Cornelius Murphy, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 08:17 (twenty years ago) link
All the words are there but it doesn't seem to make sense.Perhaps I will just have to wait for the film to come out.
― John Billot, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 13:30 (twenty years ago) link
Young impressionable man happens upon idyllic area in an imaginary country called "England" - keeps putting his arm up cows' bums. Police disinterested because of "vet" defence.
― John Billot, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 13:40 (twenty years ago) link
Bloke having mid life crisis discovers politics and shagging; but then learns to settle down and become a normal, respectable, member of society
― Jim Pearson, Wednesday, 24 March 2004 20:29 (twenty years ago) link
http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/generalfiction/story/0,6000,1177601,00.html
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 25 March 2004 13:42 (twenty years ago) link
― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 25 March 2004 13:49 (twenty years ago) link
Diary of a Nobody:I got up this morning. Tonight I shall go back to bed, as is my custom.
Alice in Wonderland:Alice breaks all the freaky rules in a freaky place, and freaks out all the freaks who live there.
Alice Through the Looking-Glass:.niaga ti seod ecilA
Lord of the Rings:Never underestimate a little guy with hairy feet.
― Dorien Thomas, Thursday, 25 March 2004 14:06 (twenty years ago) link
Everyone is miserable and lonely. Dublin is horrible. Nothing ever happens save more misery. You'll never leave!
James Ellroy - The Cold Six Thousand:
Everything's gone wrong since Kennedy died. The FBI did it. CIA and Republicans are complicit. Vietnam was wrong. Cops are corrupt. Kill yourself now. Blam.
― Cornelius Murphy, Thursday, 25 March 2004 15:41 (twenty years ago) link
― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 25 March 2004 17:36 (twenty years ago) link
Hackers break into rich guys' network. Wander round a bit. Network crashes. Into the sun.
― theonecynic, Thursday, 25 March 2004 18:23 (twenty years ago) link
London in the sixties was a jumping-off point to travel the rest of the Multiverse, particularly with a little chemical enhancement. I'm the Eternal Champion, by the way, but I don't like to talk about that.
― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 25 March 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago) link
The Kikuyu have a shite time in Kenya. But we can still sing! And I'm in prison again.
― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Thursday, 25 March 2004 20:55 (twenty years ago) link
** "NOTRE-DAME DE PARIS" by Victor Hugo **Bizarre love quadrangle plays out in shadow of Gothic cathedral in fifteenth century. Lofty themes, quirky supporting characters, overlong soliloquys. Most of the characters die.
** "THE GROUND BENEATH HER FEET" by Salman Rushdie **Love story of Orphic proportions plays out in alternate universe. East-vs-West. Pop culture. Glorious wordplay. Sex, drugs, rock-n-roll. Not as perplexing as "The Satanic Verses".
** "WUTHERING HEIGHTS" by Emily Bronte **Selfish bitch-cat and angry bastard share passionate love. Bitch-cat marries another man, dies of psychosomatic symbolism. Angry bastard then punishes second generation of already-suffering family.
** "AMERICAN GODS" by Neil Gaiman **Supposing America itself is essentially godless. Only gods are those immigrants brought, and those that technology created. And they're at war. Imagine our protagonist's surprise.
** "INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE" by Anne Rice **Vampire who needs to lighten up tells of his existence with fun-loving man-vampire and frustrated girlchild-vampire. It didn't end happily. Subsequent franchise an unforeseen phenomenon.
** "THE VAMPIRE LESTAT" by Anne Rice **Supporting character from "Interview" takes over franchise. Proves much more entertaining than predecessor. After he becomes rock star and wakes mother-queen vampire, book ends abruptly.
** "THE QUEEN OF THE DAMNED" by Anne Rice **Mother-Queen vampire wants to destroy world. Other vampires stop her, after lots of filler and background stories given for supporting characters. Much better than movie.
** "THE TALE OF THE BODY THIEF" by Anne Rice **Lestat body-swaps with trickster human. Hijinks ensue. Order of a sort is restored at end, "It's a Wonderful Life" type themes subverted with impish glee.
** "MEMNOCH THE DEVIL" by Anne Rice **Demon takes Lestat on crazy ride through Christian theology. Stop paying attention, and you'll be sorry. He's left batshit mad at end, much like reader.
** "THE VAMPIRE PANDORA" by Anne Rice **Marius' mysterious ex gets to tell her story, beginning in ancient Rome. Little action, lots of philosophical debate. Plodding style oddly fitting with inert character.
** "THE VAMPIRE ARMAND" by Anne Rice **Marius' other ex gets to tell his story. Italian Renaissance this time. Courtesans, cults, whacky vampiric performance art. Character is greatly developed, highly sympathetic. Surprise ending.
** "VITTORIO THE VAMPIRE" by Anne Rice **Imagine a Hammer horror movie told in prose. Tale of vampiric heterosexual love, with Satanic cults and sacred music too. All-new characters introduced to fold.
** "BLOOD AND GOLD" by Anne Rice **Marius gets to tell his story. Sadly, Rice has already told much of it via other characters. Prose gets tedious. Bookending sequence far more interesting.
― Bird-Mad Girl (Bird-Mad Girl), Saturday, 27 March 2004 11:21 (twenty years ago) link
The Razor's Edge - W Somerset MaughamLarry is confused. No, he's enlightened. Drives taxi. Good for him.
Great ExpectationsPip's a twat. Can't get laid.
Thomas The Tank Engine.Choo choo .... crash. Stupid trains.
Animal FarmSocialist pigs doublethink.
The Neverending StoryStuff happens. Story ends.
Illusions - Richard Bachsee title.
― DeusExMachina, Saturday, 27 March 2004 12:12 (twenty years ago) link
― Ellen Lane, Saturday, 27 March 2004 12:29 (twenty years ago) link
― Ellen Lane, Saturday, 27 March 2004 12:31 (twenty years ago) link
― Ellen Lane, Saturday, 27 March 2004 12:35 (twenty years ago) link
― Ellen Lane, Saturday, 27 March 2004 15:46 (twenty years ago) link
― Ellen Lane (Ellen Lane), Saturday, 27 March 2004 15:54 (twenty years ago) link
Decadent aesthete thinks that if he creates the ultimate escapist fantasy he can fight "against Nature". He's wrong.
― Joseph Gurney, Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:29 (twenty years ago) link
--- OR ---
Jerry acts like an arsehole, while Una Persson saves the world. Again.
--- OR EVEN ---
Like Austen Powers. But not as funny.
― Joseph Gurney, Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:33 (twenty years ago) link
― Santa Claus, Monday, 29 March 2004 02:43 (twenty years ago) link
Suicide is preferable to being stalked by obsessed neighbourhood boys
― kirov, Monday, 29 March 2004 05:56 (twenty years ago) link
Look at me! I'm Royalty! Now I will kill you all! Mwahahaha! I'm not really evil. Shit, I'm dead. Ghosts and witches are total bastards.
― Ned is a Viking, Monday, 29 March 2004 09:08 (twenty years ago) link
A-AND..... HE'S A VIKING????????????
― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 29 March 2004 10:40 (twenty years ago) link
Look at me! I'm Royalty! Now I will kill you all! Mwahahaha! I'm not really evil. Shit, I'm still alive! Ghosts and witches aren't that bad really.
― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Monday, 29 March 2004 14:50 (twenty years ago) link
― asdfsdaf, Tuesday, 30 March 2004 00:45 (twenty years ago) link
― jared brown, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 06:59 (twenty years ago) link
Old city and old man simultaneously sinks into decadent ruin as mysterious plague and angelic boy simultaneously proves fatal.
― omaha, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 07:59 (twenty years ago) link
Rock & Roll is great. Spike Milligan was a god. Lots of jokes. S**T - publisher's deadline approaching! Cobble together implausible ending. Wink to audience.
Bernard Cornwell's Sharpe series:
Sharpe is gritty. Sharpe hates everyone. Women love Sharpe. War is bad but fun. French are evil. So are rich people. Sharpe, trapped, escapes, wins.
― Cornelius Murphy, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 08:53 (twenty years ago) link
Microsoft Windows Millenium Edition user's manual
― C Valdes, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 15:52 (twenty years ago) link
Replacement manual page for ping(1M) UNIX command and discussion of ICMP ECHO_REQUEST packet.
― C Valdes, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 16:00 (twenty years ago) link
It was a dark and stormy night... The end.
― C Valdes, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago) link
Being a test pilot is kinda dangerous, but it would be uncool to say any more.
― C Valdes, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 16:27 (twenty years ago) link
To avoid the paparazzi, he left the talk show circuit and moved to France with his wife where they raised some kids in relative anonymity.
― C Valdes, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 16:30 (twenty years ago) link
I love books. Yum.
― C Valdes, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 16:35 (twenty years ago) link
Dude, I am so f**ked up -- I have this imaginary friend who gives me great advice.
― C Valdes, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 16:38 (twenty years ago) link
― J Brown, Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:49 (twenty years ago) link
Young man goes west with schoolchums; his death is nothing to write home about.
― Mark Klobas, Friday, 2 April 2004 01:27 (twenty years ago) link
Drawn-out chase through churches and museums; every twenty pages a bad history lecture breaks out.
― Mark Klobas, Friday, 2 April 2004 01:29 (twenty years ago) link
Aliens prove life exists on Mars by coming to Earth to try and wipe it out here; they discover they should have started small.
― Mark Klobas, Friday, 2 April 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago) link
Man thinks evil international pharmaceutical company have killed his wife. They did. They kill him too. He also fails to do any gardening.
― Susha Lee-Shothaman, Friday, 2 April 2004 22:10 (twenty years ago) link
I'm mad, I am.
― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Saturday, 3 April 2004 11:16 (twenty years ago) link
The whole of Ireland's mad.
― Dorien Thomas (Dorien Thomas), Saturday, 3 April 2004 11:17 (twenty years ago) link