Remake/Remodel: DC Rebirth so you don't have to

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imo the only real option is to just say that everything that happened in any DC comic, ever, is now in canon

a landlocked exclave (mh), Thursday, 4 May 2017 14:56 (seven years ago) link

they already did that like 15 years ago! it was called hypertime and it was working fine!

ffs dc you are a total shower of clueless bastards

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 May 2017 14:58 (seven years ago) link

Man, if only DC had been aware of its genetic predisposition when it took those initial, furtive nips of Crisis back in the '80s, maybe it wouldn't be slouched in an alley, desperately guzzling that off-brand Rebirth mouthwash today.

Jigsaw Pizzle (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:00 (seven years ago) link

I demand they rebuild the DC universe but Batman is the one from that comic based on the 60s tv show

a landlocked exclave (mh), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:01 (seven years ago) link

also Tom King will still write him

a landlocked exclave (mh), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:01 (seven years ago) link

xxpost Watchmen being, I guess, the TV they stole from their brother in this metaphor.

Jigsaw Pizzle (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:02 (seven years ago) link

occasionally peeling open a grimy floor-length trenchcoat to reveal tattered copies of red hood and the outlaws stapled to the lining, croaking 'hey kids! comics!' at passersby xxxp

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:04 (seven years ago) link

GASP! As I swing into action!

Tom King's gone already, isn't he? This week's Batman is by someone else and clearly ghost written by the architects of the Johnsiverse.

To summarise:

Everything that ever happened to Superman has happened to this Superman, even the things that didn't. All his histories were merged into one in a battle against Mr Mxyzptlk after he (Myxy) escaped from the prison created by Mr Oz (who is increasingly looking not to be Ozymandias).

The button in the wall in Batman was activated by the Psycho Pirate's mask and brought the Reverse Flash into continuity before he was killed by someone who may or may not be Dr Manhattan (but certainly didn't seem to be). Batman got Flash to use the Cosmic Treadmill to try and find where Reverse Flash came from, and instead creates a new Flashpoint and they end up with Thomas Wayne. No idea where it's going.

Wonder Woman may be realising she's a fictional character, except in the books where she isn't. And the issues of her own book where she isn't.

Every other book has ignored Rebirth except where it creates their entire plot, for better or worse, which means we still have two Wally Wests, two Dick Grayson etc.

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:24 (seven years ago) link

oh aldo :(

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:25 (seven years ago) link

we still have two Wally Wests, two Dick Grayson etc.

jesus h christ

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:26 (seven years ago) link

you can never have too much Dick

a landlocked exclave (mh), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:35 (seven years ago) link

TBF, Marvel currently has multiple multiversal versions of the same characters coexisting within a single universe, but one at least senses that this was more of an intentional decision rather than something they woke up next to after a night they can't remember and then half-heartedly attempted to make the best of.

Jigsaw Pizzle (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:36 (seven years ago) link

'Did I have two Dicks last night? Remember, dammit, remember!'

Jigsaw Pizzle (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:37 (seven years ago) link

two dicks in the hand are worth one in the bush

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:39 (seven years ago) link

I thought at first they were going to switch to a Marvel model where changing the past creates an alternate dimension but uhhh apparently not
i call this the Dragon Ball Z paradox. they even had Trunks go BACK to his original timeline despite totally changing everything!
I demand they rebuild the DC universe but Batman is the one from that comic based on the 60s tv show
Batman '66 is actually pretty fun. I want to read the wacky crossovers with Green Hornet and Wonder Woman '77

Nhex, Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:48 (seven years ago) link

Actually having two Dicks and Wallys and Gar Logans etc isn't as bad as it sounds because one set are only in whichever Titans book it is that isn't the Damien Wayne one, and the whole Rebirthiverse us ignoring it (despite it being the whole premise of Titans Hunt/Rebirthiverse/Missing Five Years, but that's OK because it turned out to be Abra Kadabra behind it and not anything to do with Doctor Manhattan after all).

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:55 (seven years ago) link

oh aldo :(

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:58 (seven years ago) link

Man, if only DC had been aware of its genetic predisposition when it took those initial, furtive nips of Crisis back in the '80s, maybe it wouldn't be slouched in an alley, desperately guzzling that off-brand Rebirth mouthwash today.

Luv this post!!

retconned out of existence (morrisp), Thursday, 4 May 2017 17:10 (seven years ago) link

When I read those posts, I get the feeling like I can't tell if I'm having stroke or you are.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 4 May 2017 21:35 (seven years ago) link

*a stroke <- evidence pointing towards me there.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 4 May 2017 21:36 (seven years ago) link

having stroke is what you do with the spare Dick

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 5 May 2017 01:21 (seven years ago) link

Dickstroke the Sperminator [...sorry]

retconned out of existence (morrisp), Friday, 5 May 2017 04:13 (seven years ago) link

Did I say that the first Deathstroke arc in the Rebirthiverse was about him hiring an assassin to kill his daughter, so that he could protect her from said killer and spend more time with her? That's a slice of wtf.

Not that it matters, because Deathstroke was soft rebooted the following issue.

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Friday, 5 May 2017 13:19 (seven years ago) link

aldo, do you need a hug? seriously, i worry about your wellbeing - no-one should have to carry that kind of horror around in their heads

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 5 May 2017 13:25 (seven years ago) link

i'm sure not even dc execs do

gnaw on my meat oreo (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 5 May 2017 13:26 (seven years ago) link

Yes, all the evidence is that Aldo cares more about this shit than anyone at DC at any level.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 5 May 2017 13:48 (seven years ago) link

Btw, in the dodgy DC Heroes RPG fro the 1980s had a map that put Metropolis in Pennsylvania and Gotham in NJ.

Does NYC exist in the DCU? I've never been clear on that -- I've seen it referenced in older comics, but never used as an actual setting (so wasn't sure if the references were just editorial glitches).

This thread is epic, btw... mad props to aldo (& ulysses)!

retconned out of existence (morrisp), Saturday, 6 May 2017 23:23 (seven years ago) link

Yeah, a lot of Seven Soldiers was set there iirc

albvivertine, Sunday, 7 May 2017 00:59 (seven years ago) link

And werent the teen titans in NYC in the wolfman era?

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Sunday, 7 May 2017 02:32 (seven years ago) link

it's amazing how much of the fictional DCU is in or near New Jersey

a landlocked exclave (mh), Sunday, 7 May 2017 03:28 (seven years ago) link

it's how you know it's a make-believe story

a landlocked exclave (mh), Sunday, 7 May 2017 03:28 (seven years ago) link

here's the map from the DC Heroes game.

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 7 May 2017 03:36 (seven years ago) link

It's not just Jersey, it's the abandoned Oyster Town part of Jersey

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_Norris%2C_New_Jersey

“Yeah. Huh, thanks.” (los blue jeans), Sunday, 7 May 2017 04:41 (seven years ago) link

Metropolis is in Delaware(!?)

retconned out of existence (morrisp), Sunday, 7 May 2017 04:57 (seven years ago) link

Ah, damn, I misremembered. But i was close!

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Sunday, 7 May 2017 07:44 (seven years ago) link

The worst part of this is, when I went to go see Batman vs. Superman, me and my friend chuckled about Gotham was so close to Metropolis, it was basically Newark to NYC. Turns out he was right!

Nhex, Sunday, 7 May 2017 08:18 (seven years ago) link

Johnsiverse Supergirl was set in the Lower East Side.

Current Titans (Dick & White Wally Time Displaced Ones) are in Manhattan.

Green Arrow is in Seattle.

Green Lanterns is in Detroit.

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Sunday, 7 May 2017 10:10 (seven years ago) link

So the Northeast Corridor is like twice as crowded in the DCU... holiday traffic on I-95 must REALLY stink!

retconned out of existence (morrisp), Sunday, 7 May 2017 18:00 (seven years ago) link

All that said we've arrived at the age where the best book DC are publishing is probably The Flintstones.

Speaking of which, there's a full-on DCU/Hanna-Barbera crossover in a couple of months seemingly in continuity.

We have a recent copy of "Scooby-Doo Team-Up: Featuring Martian Manhunter [and other alien heroes]" that my son likes to read... it is indeed pretty good, and has a more likable version of Starfire than I've seen in other media lately (including that goofy cartoon). If not for the Scooby-Doo content (which is "whatever"), I could see reading stuff like this from time to time; it's light, fun, and well done.

base of operations: mobile (with the memphis blues again) (morrisp), Friday, 12 May 2017 21:08 (seven years ago) link

...speaking of which, ran into this business on the DC website; check out the talent involved, haha(!) -- http://www.dccomics.com/comics/scooby-apocalypse-2016/scooby-apocalypse-1

base of operations: mobile (with the memphis blues again) (morrisp), Sunday, 14 May 2017 06:10 (seven years ago) link

y would they write this - Flying and crushing coal into diamonds may come easy, but try popping a Kryptonian zit!

as the first sentence promoting the first issue of a series

why

(http://www.dccomics.com/comics/supergirl-being-super-2016/supergirl-being-super-1)

base of operations: mobile (with the memphis blues again) (morrisp), Sunday, 14 May 2017 06:14 (seven years ago) link

I actually want to read that! Mariko Tamaki is good.

Nhex, Sunday, 14 May 2017 07:06 (seven years ago) link

xp wow that's a crazy team for Scooby Apocalypse

Nhex, Sunday, 14 May 2017 07:07 (seven years ago) link

A very average book. Original premise was fun, took a really weird diversion that went nowhere, has spent two issues parodying Trump. And it's only a year old.

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Sunday, 14 May 2017 08:10 (seven years ago) link

The changes to the last page of Detective is an odd one.

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Sunday, 14 May 2017 09:54 (seven years ago) link

DC finally acknowledging they have a problem with Titans (by which I mean they are going to try and DiDiosplain it):

https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4192/34607782426_ec87968a7d_m.jpg

I should also say this comes at the end of an issue of Titans which wraps up the last 6 issues of Deathstroke OFF-PAGE (he gets an eye transplant, no biggie, so he can see again) and in the process becomes an immensely powerful being with time altering machines and the ability to be the Psycho Pirate of the Rebirthiverse (or the Deadpool or Gwenpool if you like, that he knows his writers have just made up some incoherent bollocks).

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Sunday, 14 May 2017 10:32 (seven years ago) link

I've been "DC-curious" lately, but not sure what (if anything) to read... and this thread hasn't "helped"!

base of operations: mobile (with the memphis blues again) (morrisp), Sunday, 14 May 2017 15:15 (seven years ago) link

Avoid most of the past decade! Lots of good stuff before then.

Download this Man With Hamburder And Mug (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 May 2017 16:20 (seven years ago) link

I'd like to read something current (as not much at Marvel is currently floating my boat)... maybe I'll try an issue or two of something. That Supergirl series looks potentially up my alley; assuming that "Kryptonian zits" doesn't reflect the actual content.

base of operations: mobile (with the memphis blues again) (morrisp), Sunday, 14 May 2017 20:31 (seven years ago) link


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