SO U MOVING TO HSTNGS! PACK A AMPULE OF ANTIVENOM AND A FACK FULL OF EMINEM

We will have badass times

i am badly in need of those!

oh dear, what is the handle and should I look at it and lol?

It's this guy:

https://twitter.com/MarkRMatthews

as far as I can tell he gives zero lols, whereas IA Senator Chuck Grassley is surprisingly funny

So I should follow Grassley?

I believe Herman Cain to be the funniest Republican on the planet.

This is why you should follow Grassley:

http://gawker.com/5971006/the-15-most-powerful-chuck-grassley-tweets-of-2012

hey y'all, I told some of you that I was auditioning for the Platters? it never panned out (largely due to Operation A)

a friend of mine got the gig though so it's all good

I am totally going to flip off that baby.

OK those Grassley tweets. Is it possible he doesn't really know how to use his Twitter???

Also - deX - the Platters?!

Well, one of the eight groups calling themselves The Platters (but I think this was the official group that legally owns the name)

Grassley started weird twitter iirc

That is crazy.

Both of those things.

BREAKING NEWS

http://www.kare11.com/news/article/1020595/391/Hastings-toddler-found-with-booze-in-street

"...just standin' right there ya know and I mean 'cause I seen 'im 'n' that well y'know the wife said 'n' that well y'know be careful of that little boy 'n' that so he wouldn't happen to dart out or somethin' like that..."

PRESCOTT Y'ALL

FYI Sara I made up that bit abt weird twitter

Also, Dan, I will not flip off your baby or your friend who is in the new platters

i am filled with hometown pride

I just assume everything you say is made up, JP.

We should have a competition to imagine what the next HSTNGS news story might bring. Pretty sure that, no matter what we come up with, it won't be enough.

In that exact same intersection, I found a guy lying down near the curb who had been hit by a car and who had been lying there for 15-20 minutes while people were driving by, shaking their heads at the drunk. tbf, he smelled of booze, but the paramedics said his leg was fractured and that he was exhibiting signs of a concussion.

well thats why he sent his toddler out on the next beer run, they are harder to hit because they're smaller

unfortunately people read that thing that was going around about crying children and gangs and brought the kid to the police station. If only they had read snopes everybody would be cool

kids never going to learn how to handle his liquor if the mommy state keeps getting involved. THANKS FOR NOTHING OBAMA

altho on the positive note the kid is less likely to make a party foul and drop his drink again for fear of the police

still back on Mike's Hard Lemonade

clearly that toddler is a pussy

no Black Label, no credibility

urgent & key question: was the toddler wearing Zubaz?

oh, the images in my head just went all fuzzy, and all I can hear now in my mind is "Can't Touch This"

My my my
My Zima hits 'em so hard

^^^ you have officially destroyed my life

finally I have achieved what HSTNGS could not

preserve this moment in amber, the universe

Amen, RIP my brane

shouldn't we ask her permission before we start asking the universe to preserve things in her

hold on ive spent decades trying to destroy saras life and you throw one zima joke at her and its mission accomplished? i hate this filthy world

jjjusten, where you failed, DJP succeeded, by putting his message in the hands of a drunk toddler.

I don't work harder, I work smarter

his "message"

deX wins, Scurvy.

I always knew it would come to this.

Ok ok, I finally get Justice. But only after having Phantom come up on random play and feeling compelled to play it 8 times in a row really loud while doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen.

have you guys seen this site yet: http://www.thisismyjam.com/djperry1973

I get a jam error ;_;

oh noes

http://www.thisismyjam.com what about here

I can see the sight, including your link. I got the error when I tried to play your jam.

ah

huh weird

site

apparently here's the type of (literal) shit that happens in the town where my parents bought a townhouse:

http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat_will_greenlee_blog/2013/04/an-evening-with-colt-45.html

I think we will all fit right in.

^^^ that would warm the cockles of my heart if I wasn't frozen solid

and if I knew what cockles were

They skipped that in human anatomy class.

Is wearing a fedora sideways a Thing or did I just see a crazy person?