Deal breakers

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cologne AND mousse

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:17 (sixteen years ago) link

lacking in basic geography skillz

gff, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:27 (sixteen years ago) link

DADDY ISSUES.

chicago kevin, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:28 (sixteen years ago) link

spells words like did'nt and have'nt
writes for a newspaper
psychoanalyzes mixtapes
breaks into house

Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Smells like cheese

Trip Maker, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:35 (sixteen years ago) link

morrissey love

darraghmac, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:37 (sixteen years ago) link

morrissey hate

ENBB, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:38 (sixteen years ago) link

let's cancel that drink, shall we?

darraghmac, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:41 (sixteen years ago) link

"hates books"

chicago kevin, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:44 (sixteen years ago) link

who hates books?

mookieproof, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:45 (sixteen years ago) link

doesn't "really like music"

ENBB, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:47 (sixteen years ago) link

breaks deals

rrrobyn, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:48 (sixteen years ago) link

gambling problem

elmo argonaut, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:53 (sixteen years ago) link

orders steak well done

lauren, Thursday, 3 January 2008 16:57 (sixteen years ago) link

stuttering
lisping
baby voice

elmo argonaut, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:06 (sixteen years ago) link

stoner

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:06 (sixteen years ago) link

poor belly button hygiene

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:11 (sixteen years ago) link

^^^ very important

carne asada, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:13 (sixteen years ago) link

says a racial slur

nickalicious, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:24 (sixteen years ago) link

has an Ayn Rand quote on a bumpersticker on her car

nickalicious, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:24 (sixteen years ago) link

has a bumpersticker on her car

nickalicious, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:24 (sixteen years ago) link

shit i meant that to say "has a 'my other car is a broom' bumpersticker on her car"

nickalicious, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:25 (sixteen years ago) link

has a car

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:26 (sixteen years ago) link

WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY

elmo argonaut, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:26 (sixteen years ago) link

is Ayn Rand's corpse reincarnate

Mr. Que, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:27 (sixteen years ago) link

WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE MONEY

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:32 (sixteen years ago) link

smokes a lot of cigs

69, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:34 (sixteen years ago) link

never smokes cigs

69, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:34 (sixteen years ago) link

doesn't like rap

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:46 (sixteen years ago) link

hates receiving oral sex

69, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:48 (sixteen years ago) link

watches biopics on pop culture figures about whom she knows nothing

reads memoirs (ghost)written by pop culture figures about whom she knows nothing

is obsessed with '40s/'50s American pop culture; owns every season of I Love Lucy on dvd and bothers to watch the commentary

has been photographed with Matisyahu

Ol Bertie Dastard, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:56 (sixteen years ago) link

elmo has obviously never received oral sex from a stutterer

Ol Bertie Dastard, Thursday, 3 January 2008 17:57 (sixteen years ago) link

ooh! sincere Bettie Page fandom

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:08 (sixteen years ago) link

complains about walking

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:13 (sixteen years ago) link

^^^arccos

69, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link

oh wait deal BREAKERS yeah ok agreed

69, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:25 (sixteen years ago) link

Don't worry, Jon, you're completely safe from me.

Laurel, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:44 (sixteen years ago) link

favorite bands: U2, The Smiths, The Police, Talking Heads

milo z, Thursday, 3 January 2008 18:53 (sixteen years ago) link

gets some sense of identity from where they live.

chicago kevin, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:20 (sixteen years ago) link

joanna newsome fandom

bell_labs, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Hates my family

-- Laurel, Friday, 4 January 2008 02:20 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

if your family doesn't get drunk and scream bigoted insults, fair enough

Autumn Almanac, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:25 (sixteen years ago) link

says "bingo" when orgasming

mookieproof, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:27 (sixteen years ago) link

voice drops two octaves when orgasming, woofing

gbx, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:28 (sixteen years ago) link

My dad gave me a shitty lecture about the number of empty beer cans he was seeing on the back porch and how that's unacceptable in his house. I refrained from promising not to come to his house anymore, since it was Christmas Eve and it seemed inopportune.

Laurel, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:28 (sixteen years ago) link

^^^ would never happen with my family ^^^

chicago kevin, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:30 (sixteen years ago) link

was he talking about drinking to excess or littering?

ian, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:31 (sixteen years ago) link

talks about Napoleon Dynamite or Superbad all the time

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:31 (sixteen years ago) link

so you're breaking the deal with hetero dork-men?

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Friday, November 30, 2007
So I was an extra on a movie last night

To my dear sweet Michael Cera,

It was a pleasure to meet you last night.

Although our conversation was all too brief, I can tell that it meant something special to the both of us. Yes, when you declared whilst at the kraft table for your one-day-to-be-released teenage romantic comedy that it was a cold night out, and I responded in the affirmative, did you feel the sparks that rose between us? It isn't every day where you find someone who is able to discuss, in such a concise yet pointed way, the direct effect the weather has on human comfort.

“Wow, it's cold out here,” you said, retreating into the inner warmth of your jacket like a baby bird nestling into its mother's feathery bosom.
“Sure is,” I replied as I cupped my coffee gingerly.
“Is that prosciutto?” you asked, your voice cracking in that titillating, just out of puberty way.

You were facing one of the many assistants on the set, but I knew you were addressing me. I reached to stroke the back of your neck and reassure you that it was most definitely Italian ham, but thought better of it last minute. It would be tacky to so publicly display our amour.

Not to be overly sappy, but your words warmed my heart – making the night worth the ten hours I had spent sitting in a inhumanely freezing room, being an unused extra for what looks like will become the Citizen Kane of the iPod wearing generation.

So, my luscious lamb chop of a man-child, when should we tell our friends about the wedding? When 'Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist' wraps? Must we wait that long to officially declare our love? I pine to have you near me again, my inamorato, but if we must postpone our liaisons, I will do it patiently. For you.

Millions and hugs and kisses,
Elaine

P.S. We didn't get around to it this time, but please give me a chance next time to sit you on my knee and bounce you up and down like a baby.

P.P.S. You're legal now, right?

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:35 (sixteen years ago) link

!!!

Jordan, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:38 (sixteen years ago) link


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