So the real story you all missed is that I talked my way into teaching women's studies on the basis of 2 undergrad courses only. The college knew that at the time, and since I had a history degree and wanted to teach it, they let me.
My expertise is British medieval church history. I had no business teaching feminism, however well I may have taught it. I then built a career as a well-known online male feminist on fraudulent pretenses. My mania let me talk a good game, but there was no there there.So with the clarity that comes from a shitload of anti-psychotics, I'm sorry I've been such a breathtakingly cocky fraud.
I read one book of Kimmel's and made myself an expert on men and masculinity. I read a little bit about porn, and figured out how to make it a fun circus for all. I wanted my students to learn. I cared about them. I even loved them. I loved the attention more and I was fucking awesome at getting it.
Yes, no shit I'm having a manic break right now. I'll be fine, and I'll dump in some tranquilizers in a sec. But let the truth come out. The critics were right. I know I did a little bit of good. I know I helped a few people. But I did so much more harm by being fraudulent, by lying. My former friends and employers, I'm sorry. I meant well but I didn't have the credentials I pretended I did.
By the way do you know you only need a MA in history to teach any history course you like? That's the law. At least in my college.
So I got diagnosed bipolar with psychotic features but damn the Seroquel knocks me flat and I wanted to FEEL alive again So I will be okay. I'll go offline again. Just a manic episode that I'll regret. But I've been such a liar. A terrible liar. I hurt so many people with lies.
I was never qualified to teach any gender studies courses. I talked my way into all these gigs. I owe you the truth! Those of you tweeting at me to be quiet want me to cover it up. And yes, I networked like a motherfucker to get promoted. Which is how I got the gigs I got. I learned clickbait. Sometimes I fucked my way into a gig. I will come back when I am well and teach what I should be teaching. I will eventually be well. But I am deliberately letting this manic episode run so you can KNOW THE TRUTH.
My friends are calling but I'm not answering.
I made my writing all about me. I centered my pain and my cock. and I sold it to you. And WOC, yes you @amaditalks and @Blackamazon, you were right. I was awful to you because you were in the way. I am so so sorry that I let myself be like this. But I wanted atttention so f-ing bad. This was all about attention. I built a brand (remember "off-brand") on being something completely false to get approbation. I have to go away to learn how to hear other people. Through these voices in my head.
My friends who defended me I'm so sorry. You did all that work for nothing. The critics were right, they could see it. If you read @graceishuman or @redlightvoices you'll see they GOT ME EXACTLY right. I appropriated the language of redemption, I knew which buttons to push, I used sex and charm and whiteness and it usually worked.
So yes I'm bipolar as fuck that truth is out there. Yes I'm on a manic episode and feeling crazed. I should take the Seroquel that's right there but I'm tired of being medicated and numb. If youo think these tweets are off, you're so wrong. AT LAST the authentic Hugo. He's here! No mask. I'm set free by disease and disgrace. It feels so GOOD.
Why should I stop, friends? This is the truth coming out now! You can denounce me now. I'm out of feminism, not because I don't believe in it, but because I'm such a pisspoor example of it all.
I cheated on my wife and pretended to be reformed. I wrote an article in the Atlantic condemning age-disparate relationships the same ...that I was sleeping with a 23 year-old. And sexting a 27 year-old. Not my students at least. I'm a monstrous hypocrite. And I mocked the suffering of abuse survivors who were triggered by my work
This is real YOU WANT A PICTURE OF ME TO PROVE IT? No one has hacked me.
Look, I tried hard. I did love and do love many of you and believe in your work. When I promoted you, it was generally because you were doing good stuff. But I was just craving attention. I loved being the most notorious bad boy male feminist out there. I cultivated that shit so hard. I wrote that facials piece for Jez write after the first set of scandals about me broke. I did it because I wanted to send a message that the critics couldn't touch me. It was a metaphorical and literal "In your face!" to the haters.
My diagnosis, by the way? Bipolar disease with psychotic features plus BPD. I have all my meds lined up: lithium, seroquil, klonopin, wellbutrin, lexapro.
Oh, and the folks who are angry at me right now? Of course they know this is too little too late. I will get well but I left with my tail between my legs. With you all heaving sighs of gratitude. Now, now, now you get the truth.