Misdirected emails

someone in ireland got a quote for a kitchen remodeling project

I'm constantly getting resumes from people in Jordan (the country).

Dear Douchebags,

You are all invited to Cary's bachelor party on September Xth-Yth. We are going to Nashville, TN and will be staying at the Doubletree downtown. Accommodations are $181 per person for two nights. I am just trying to get a gauge on who will be able to make it, so please let me know before next Friday, July 14th.

More details will follow, but for the most part we will just drink out of penis straws and do dong bongs and blow job shots and stuff.

Let me know as soon as you can! Thank you.

McRib/Rib/Rob

Ideal Protein orders are in! Please pick up in Pod 3.

Thank you!

Hello,

Due to the time restrains we are emailing you the Acceptance Packet for Pleasant Plains. Please return the completed and signed documents with the enrollment deposit to secure pplains' roster spot.

Let me know if you have any questions and/or concerns.

Thank you,

JEFF Xxxxxx
Athletic Director/Academic Director

time restrains no one.

Ideal Protein orders are in. Please pick up in Pod 3. Please note, Wendy and Luann are out today and tomorrow for measuring. Cindy in meeting today until 3:30pm, and tomorrow until 2pm. Sorry for any inconvenience. Thank you.

Pod 3 makes it sound like some spaceship running protein experiments.

Welcome to Spy Phone App

Thank you for your interest in our application.

You have successfully added a new phone to your account .

The cell phone is ready to be tracked. All retrieved information will be available in your account, by logging at Spy phone app.

Attention!
Make sure the device is connected to the Internet.

Hello,

Hope this email finds you well. We are down to one roster spot remaining. If you are interested you will need to notify the coach that has been recruiting ASAP. If not we wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.

Go Warriors,

Jeff Xxxxxx
Athletic Director

_____________________________________________________

Hello,

I have no idea who you are. If you are interested in filling your roster spot, you will need to update your contact information ASAP. I am a 43-year-old father of two.

Go Mizzou Tigers

Dear PLEASANT PLAINS,

The payment for the order that you placed on 6/8/2017 from DialAmerica for ESPN THE MAGAZINE is past due. A portion of your paid order provides support to MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING. Your payment insures uninterrupted delivery of your magazine subscription. On behalf of DialAmerica and MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING, thank you!

Total Amount Due: $39.95

I emailed the BMW dealership to tell them to stop freaking emailing me.

Now they're sending me emails asking me to fill in a survey re my resent email dealings with them :|

resent? Ugh. RECENT.

Jordan's is horrible!

Chilling, right? It links to a manual and of course it says that it's "parental control software designed to keep your children safe from negative information."

http://www.blast-o-rama.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/bigmouthbites.png

what asshole signed my email address up for jiffy lube's marketing? fuck those guys

Relax. it's for oil changes.

they claim that, but it's really a devious scheme to destroy automobiles iirc

********'s Report
Wednesday, Aug 2, 2017

Naps

12:35pm - 2:30pm (1h55m)

Meals

Morning Snack - All - Grapes
Lunch - All - Eggs, meat, puffs
Afternoon Snack - All - Apples

Bathroom

11:05am - Diaper - Wet, bowel movement
2:39pm - Diaper - Wet
3:47pm - Diaper - Wet

That's a doozy,

Hey all, just wanted to let you know that there NO ONE in Pod 3 today. I will unavailable for the morning, but will be here this afternoon. If you stop by this morning, and go to pod 2, someone can get to your order, but will NOT be able to weigh or measure anyone.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Thanks.

Um, I received some random paypal money the other day, all successively from the same person. I shouldn't be worried about this, should I?

you received $2.00 USD
you received $3.86 USD
you received $4.57 USD
you received $4.54 USD
you received $4.25 USD
you received $4.57 USD
you received $2.54 USD
you received $1.87 USD
you received $2.48 USD

is your email address tied to a paypal account? if so, you could go in and reject them, otherwise these things tend to sort themselves out when they figured out they sent to the wrong person and cancel

it could also be a scam and the link in the email is to fake paypal and they're trying to get your password

It is, didn't click any links in the email but I do see the money in my paypal account. I figured it would eventually get retracted if they figure it out (not sure what paypal's policy is on this), otherwise I will consider it my compensation for years of responding to years of misdirected emails.

that feels like a scam. reject the money (easy) and contact paypal (hard and annoying)

someone with the same or similar name to me in "Dublin, IE" has a snapchat account and has accidentally used my email. i am constantly getting emails that this person has logged in to my snapchat account on a new device!

wait doesn't that mean i can just take over this snapchat account and have a good time

Sandy

Your Ideal Protein order is in.

Thanks!

I'm Daniel blake I will like to know if you are handy for Tap dance lessons and if you do acquire credit cards as a routine of payments. Kindly get back with quick response.

Thanks

In open space offices, employees create better relationships and work in a team.

JAN: Oh, Mark, I see what you meant about the city manager's office. I called over there, tried to leave a message with Bruce, but got disconnected as soon as they tried to transfer me. You called it, they got me good. Mark?

KEN: He left to get coffee five minutes ago.

wrong thread.

Janet, keep your Toyota Owners account active by updating your login credentials.

I think I've got some bad credit card bills, but I feel better when I see Pleasant A. Plains' Amex balance.

Dear Plains,

Thank you for your interest in the University of South Carolina!

Just Stop Right There....

I have sent money into the site, but do not have credits yet and saw that you were in my mail box. I tried your name in aol, then gmail and hit it. If you are interested at all, email me back.

Tommy

Hi PP,

This is to confirm your agreement to play trumpet in the PSU production of The Drowsy Chaperone.

The music is a parody of 1920s Jazz with winds, brass, bass and percussion. It's a neat score and a very funny show.

i hope you were sitting down when you read that

Well for a prom-trotter like me, I felt like the bee's knees wearing hot socks in cat's pajamas!

you're playin' trumpet see! in the drowsy chaperone see! YA MUG

Ted, here are some pictures and spec sheets on the trailers I have. We have them listed at $7,900.00 each. If you take all (3) as is I can do $6,500.00. Let me if you have any questions.

Thanks

Patrick Smrek

Did you get my first email about the watermelon. I might buy a whole melon at Kroger tomorrow and would like to know if you would like half of it?

Sent from my mini pad

aw, I want to get an email about a watermelon

Huge, and I mean huge email sent to my government name about genealogy. She goes through this particular bloodline path from the Old World to the New World, solicits all of us for DNA samples, provides some reading material, etc.
Not only am I not a relative of hers, my last name isn't brought up once in the whole email.

But she does end it with this:

I have a story that my mother would not like me to tell that I'm going to tell because I think it illustrates perfectly how genealogical research can throw light on ordinary things in our lives which we never would have understood otherwise. In fact, Mama really wouldn't want me to tell it, now that I think of it.

When I was a very little girl, my mother seemed unduly concerned with the operation of my bowels, particularly if I had a cold with a fever or one of my regular bouts of tonsillitis. If they had not been properly active, she would grow seriously concerned. Generally, the case was hopeless for me. She would put a towel down on our bathroom floor, bend me over on it, pink rump in air, and administer an enema, all the time saying, "We don't want you to get locked bowels, do we? People die from locked bowels." On and on about "locked bowels," no matter how I protested the indignity and suffering being imposed on me. I could not beg or cry loudly enough to preclude or shorten the dreaded remedy. Our pediatrician recommended this treatment to lower high fevers, but high fevers were not required for Mama. Even low fevers would do.

Later, Margaret and I used to laugh about the malady. Somebody would die and adults wouldn't know the cause, and we would look at one another and laugh, "Locked bowels, no doubt."

Well, in my early research, I discovered the newspaper write-up of my great-grandfather Williams' death in a Jackson MS Clarion-Ledger. You're right: 'locked bowels." Written in black and white. He had been sent to a hospital in Jackson, to no avail. And that was where my mother's fear of the problem and all my infant suffering arose!

Why do people send these things to me?

If I ever die from locked bowels, please keep any reporters from the Clarion-Ledger away from my bedside.

Haahaha holy shit. I think replying to that one with "hi, I have no idea who you are and why you sent this to me" would yield spectacular results. Who the fuck announces shit like that to groups of people?

holy shit indeed

pplains last post is 100% song lyrics

We have finished putting together your order and you will find a copy here for your review. If everything looks good, email us over a ocnfirmaiton.

Pick-Up
Terms: Paid at Register
Please pick up at 2:30

30 Half Chicken Split
30 Memphis Style Pulled Pork (.31)

30 Harlem Potato Salad
30 BBQ Beans w/Pork
30 Salt Potatoes (.4)

30 Cornbread Muffins
30 Jumbo Chicken Wings (dozen)
Appetizers
4 DOZ GARLIC/4 DOZ hbbq
Includes Bleu Cheese Dressing and Celery.

1 Gallon Mac & Cheese Sides
2 BTL BBQ Sauce - MP Extras
30 Butter Pats Extras
30 Small Plates and forks

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