pot vs. Alzheimers

I definitely understand that ambiguity she's feeling

my grandfather didn't have alzheimers, just rapidly diminishing mental faculties to the extent he could carry on a conversation but wouldn't recognize my dad, and some family members felt that way. There's the added punch of the fact you still have those memories and feelings, and it's hard to have all of your being wrapped up in feeling on the defensive and adversarial in front of someone who doesn't have any memory of the past.

A math student should have a better command of logic imo.

what is the logic that says she should visit him?

Three-year-olds are adorable, is that not logical?

you don't have decades of negative experiences with a three year old!

even if he's no longer that person, he is that person to her

There's the added punch of the fact you still have those memories and feelings, and it's hard to have all of your being wrapped up in feeling on the defensive and adversarial in front of someone who doesn't have any memory of the past.

My sister has seen Dad maybe four or five times since he moved into memory care 18 months ago, which to be fair is probably about as often as she would have seen him if he were still in his right mind. I don't know if she's quite able to accept that the contrarian oppressor of our teenage years is no longer present.