DEAR NABISCO

why are you sitting around making out with chicks while pondering the significance of personal non-events that occurred years earlier? shouldn't you be paying better attention? this question has been bothering me for three minutes tho less of a burning question than "omfg why is louis using the word 'courting'".

not meant as a dig, i like u and all but it's weirding me out,
xo
ally

I wasn't "pondering," or anything -- we were just sitting in her dorm going through the usual pre-making-out flow of things, and I was thinking "great, we are both definitely prepping to make out," and then there was this brief realization: "Oh man, that's exactly what Julie did at her house that one time, I can't believe I didn't pick up on it." It wasn't until later that I actually thought back over the age-16/17 Julie incident and sat around laughing at all the obvious cues I'd missed.

(Also the Julie incident had always confused me, because she had taken me back to her house, and then we hung out for a while, and then suddenly she seemed really frustrated and angry and said "fine, I'll give you a ride back to town" -- I'd never understood why she was annoyed until I realized I was SO OBLIVIOUS to the invitations, and she was probably feeling really rejected.)

(Also she was like 27 or something and I was in high school, so possibly the "rejection" stung more? Though the age difference was half of why it never occurred to me that she'd be coming on to me. And if you're 27 and trying to get with high school boys, c'mon, make the first move.)

Best,
Nabisco

This happened to me once when I was 22, at this friend's apartment. I had a total crush on her, but we'd been friends for several years, and it just seemed too weird to make a move, even if it was perfect in so many ways: we were sitting very close on her futon, her roommate was out of town, and she was the one who initiated the photo-album scenario (or was it a dictionary? "let's look up funny words" -- anyway). I still kick myself for not just saying "what the hell" and going through with it, especially since several months later she started dating someone to whom she's now married.

how do you get rid of mice in your house?

love,

grady

Gear, I came across that "fuck-want" here before seeing the original come from Beales, so I spent the past fifteen minutes thinking you were REALLY GROSS as opposed to REALLY FUNNY.

dude wtf

ps i think you should be more creepy

duh!!

haha

AWKWARD.

HA HA HA HA

During the anal sex scene he apparently yelled "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MOVIE HAVE YOU TAKEN ME TO"

Yeah. He sounds like a Yankee. Tripped us out too.

hearing jon's posts in jon's actual voice is always good for a chuckle

hearing dr morbius shout the chorus of "Gay Bar" is another thing that I will probably never forget

I apologize in advance for this possible slur, but I read all of Morbius' posts in a Paul Lynde voice.

You missed the Youtube video of me being racist and dancing to eurotrance huh?>

ha. you mean this one? http://youtube.com/watch?v=WdHB3fY1nVw

lol

tehresa (1 week ago)
i can't believe you uploaded this.

no, I'm not racist in that one!

I couldn't hear what was being said, but only "I hope the sound isn't turned on!"

Is ‘knowingness’ a real word? Spell checker kinda freaking out on it, saying it doesn’t exist.

i'm not nabisco, but i'm pretty sure it is

dear nabisco, a friend of mine teaches at a local college and got a last minute assignment to a "critical thinking and popular culture" class. it is 2010, do you have any ideas for articles/books/etc he could include? maybe a case study on tv shows within tv shows?

Maybe use this?
http://agrammar.tumblr.com/ask

I only just noticed this, but I will think about it!

Congrats are in order!

wow. awesome!

hi 5s

That's super cool & super deserved!

AMAZING! yaaaaaaaaaaay congrats!!!

congrats nabisco! looking forward to reading lots more of you.

this doesnt mean the end of his pfork column does it? cos i likes reading that

holy fuckbuckets! congrats!!

wowowww! :D

good work, nitsuh!

many many many congrats, well done, super happy for him :) :) <3

that's awesome. congrats, dude.

just reread this via maxs recommend on gawker http://agrammar.tumblr.com/post/359990238/the-rules-of-the-game-a-fuller-thought-on-j-hopper and its sweet that nabisco is writing for nymag now and his reviews are typically brilliant but you know really he should be in the nytimes opinion section telling people what to think abt life - its not an unreasonable expectation

come back to ilx, nabs -- we need you now more than ever!

http://www.allanjosephbatac.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/princess-leia.jpg

just reread this via maxs recommend on gawker http://agrammar.tumblr.com/post/359990238/the-rules-of-the-game-a-fuller-thought-on-j-hopper and its sweet that nabisco is writing for nymag now and his reviews are typically brilliant but you know really he should be in the nytimes opinion section telling people what to think abt life - its not an unreasonable expectation

― ice cr?m, Saturday, January 1, 2011 12:42 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Strangely, I just read this piece because a friend posted it on facebook. Only after I finished the whole thing, nodding to myself the entire time how OTM* it was, did I realize it was from 2010, and only after that did I realize it was by Nabisco.

*OTM isn't even really an adequate term honestly, because it implies "this is shit I already thought but hadn't put into words this well" and I think this piece goes way beyond just stating well what I already thought.

nabisco's point that the tumblrers whoops i mean "the game" players tend to use the people in their stories more as props than actual people strikes me as v right

If nabisco would be still active here, most other posters could shut up.

you're at least half right

he posted today fyi, break out your commemorative otms

*scoops noodle*

^love that place

so sad he keeps talking about The Game but never actually references the rapper

but you know really he should be in the nytimes opinion section telling people what to think abt life - its not an unreasonable expectation

please god let this happen

You guys are gonna take life advice from a cookie?

i always liked that nabisco would have the dense intellectually rigorous multiple paragraph posts but would also bust out the zings and hardman styles as well. a complete artist.

nabisco is not a cookie, you twit. nabisco is the national biscuit corporation, you fool, and is worth more than 20,000 of you put together (considering just the capital assets alone).

considering just the number of cookies