don't tell mom the babysitter gave me head

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so my first s3xual experience was with my babysitter when i was 12 (she was 17 and crosseyed) and when i told this to my girlfriend she said two of her exes had had near-identical experiences (not the same sitter, i don't think). but apparently this ain't that uncommon so let's talk about touching babysitter pussy and how weird it is getting a blowjob while watching foul play and wearing yr pony league baseball uniform, ok? and girls talk about dyking out with babysitters or next door neighbors or the boy with the weird breath and bad hair who fucked yuo oh so bad.

Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 17:54 (nineteen years ago) link

dude you need therapy.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 17:58 (nineteen years ago) link

ps. this never happened to me.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:01 (nineteen years ago) link

omg

JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:02 (nineteen years ago) link

i almost got my ass kicked by the school bully for telling my friends about my sex with the school hottie (and slut)

JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:04 (nineteen years ago) link

we got left to our own devices at a young age. = latch key 4 evar.

= no horndog babysitters.

i can remember several of us kids taking shits and comparing them. my nextdoor neighbor had a labcoat, stethoscope and a clipboard... looking back, i sincerely hope she didn't try to listen to the terd. "this terd's got no vital signs!"

i can't remember tho.
m.

msp (msp), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:05 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha! that's a very advanced game of doctor, msp!

Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:06 (nineteen years ago) link

well, that was ohio and we were really young, so i'm blaming the pollution. and devo.
m.

msp (msp), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Neither of these things happened to me. I did kiss my best friend Monica a lot when we were little.
Then I grew up and kissed a girl named Valerie, A LOT.

Holly (an appletross), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:32 (nineteen years ago) link

I had a childhood friend who got busy with all his babysitters. He turned out to be a real womanizer/deadbeat-dad type. Yeah, you go Yanc3y. (j/k!)

gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:36 (nineteen years ago) link

holly!
m.

msp (msp), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

m!
holly.

Holly (an appletross), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

I never hooked up with babysitters, but sometimes they changed into bathingsuits in front of me. It creeped me out!

Helios Creed (orion), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:03 (nineteen years ago) link

FAGORT!

JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:38 (nineteen years ago) link

my friend Theodore used to get down with his baby sitter. He also held congress with his ex-girlfriend's mom. heres to u missus robinson.

I wish I was smarter and not so consumed with transformers when i was 11...I could have been gettin ass.

DEEBZ (ddb), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:39 (nineteen years ago) link

la masacre de (5:48:47 PM): i bet i would have tried shit with boys i was babysitting
orion0014 (5:48:54 PM): hahah
la masacre de (5:48:54 PM): if i was a babysitter

Helios Creed (orion), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:46 (nineteen years ago) link

that's weird that jon would say that.

why do old people and old users of ILX such bastardos (deangulberry), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

i guess not.

why do old people and old users of ILX such bastardos (deangulberry), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

held congress?

JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

that's not JON! Nor is it GORT!

http://www.fantascienza.com/cinema/ultimatum-alla-terra/media/gort.JPG

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:48 (nineteen years ago) link

My babysitter gatecrashed my barmitzvah and stormed onto the dancefloor to dance with me. She spun me round like crazy until I wanted to throw up!

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:53 (nineteen years ago) link

She had a bad-boy boyrfriend who wore leather jackets and played a game where she would stand in the middle of the street and he would drive at her really fast until she jumped out of the way right at the last second!

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Was her name RELMAP ARUAL?

gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 21:47 (nineteen years ago) link

REMLAP ARUAL?

why do old people and old users of ILX such bastardos (deangulberry), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 21:50 (nineteen years ago) link

no it was DLOG ESIUOL!

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 21:58 (nineteen years ago) link

I AM STILL AT WORK

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:13 (nineteen years ago) link

I AM LEAVING SOON TO WATCH BEISBOL.

gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I WILL BE DOWNTOWN ON THURSDAY AFTERNOON, WEARING A SUIT

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:19 (nineteen years ago) link

CALL ME IF YOU WANT TO HAVE FUN

gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:21 (nineteen years ago) link

i babysat for the first time a week ago. no sex was attempted, thank heavens.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:11 (nineteen years ago) link

2 of my ex boyfriends got bjs/sensual massages from older babysitters. Did I tell you that once, YANCEY?

When I used to babysit the only weird things I did was throw the kids out into the front yard naked because they wouldn't put their clothes on, or play the "What does this taste like" game.

Carey (Carey), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:28 (nineteen years ago) link

godammit did i miss out as a kid or what? jesus.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:44 (nineteen years ago) link

I HAD SOME HOT BABYSITTERS BUT NONE OF THEM EVER SEXED ME :,,,(

AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:47 (nineteen years ago) link

what things did you use in the "What does this taste like" game? body parts?

JaXoN (JasonD), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:02 (nineteen years ago) link

"What does this taste like?"
*sits on face*

AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:06 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/7546/bunyheart3.gif

Infundibula (Wooden), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:06 (nineteen years ago) link

FOOD PRODUCTS. The last time I was attracted to 12 year olds was when i was 8.

Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:11 (nineteen years ago) link

i never gave any body i ever babysat a bj.

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Well then, I guess you blew it ... or didn't! OH I AM *SOOOOO* RANDY!!!

why do old people and old users of ILX such bastardos (deangulberry), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:40 (nineteen years ago) link

DEAN GULBERRY WHY U BREAK MY HEART ALL TIME? :'(

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:49 (nineteen years ago) link

isn't GORT that trail mix shit

sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 02:11 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...
isn't GORT that trail mix shit

-- sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (hot.air.balloo...) (webmail), October 12th, 2004 11:11 PM. (ex machina) (link) (admin) (userip)

JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Then I grew up and kissed a girl named Valerie, A LOT.
-- Holly (hollypric...), October 12th, 2004 12:32 PM. (an appletross) (admin) (userip)

jäxøñ (jaxon), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:33 (seventeen years ago) link

whatever happened to her :(

JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:35 (seventeen years ago) link

jon u thinking of gorp.

hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:51 (seventeen years ago) link

GIVING GURPS HEAD MMORPG+++

guess papers (eman), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 02:30 (seventeen years ago) link

yea, GORP

JW (ex machina), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:39 (seventeen years ago) link

how did i miss this yancey thread first time around?

cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:52 (seventeen years ago) link

one year passes...

Yanc3y had some great threads

The sound of 300 pounds of lard banging against the wall...

Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:51 (sixteen years ago) link

fluxblog?

Steve Shasta, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:54 (sixteen years ago) link

ZING!

chicago kevin, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:58 (sixteen years ago) link

i will take any opportunity ever to re-post this:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2066/2423060579_75e67cc1b4_o.jpg

chicago kevin, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:59 (sixteen years ago) link

one of my friends started dating his former babysitter last year.

they now live together.

o_0

elmo argonaut, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:37 (sixteen years ago) link

the first time i ever touched boobs it was when i accidentally grabbed my babysitter's while running around/wrestling.

she was also my best friend's older sister and next door neighbor.

gr8080, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:58 (sixteen years ago) link

"accidentally"

ENBB, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:59 (sixteen years ago) link

"wrestling"

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:10 (sixteen years ago) link

hi i was 10 years old

gr8080, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:20 (sixteen years ago) link

hi

Lingbert, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:21 (sixteen years ago) link

hi i was 10 years old

-- gr8080, Friday, April 18, 2008 8:20 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

uh did you read the thread

69, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:35 (sixteen years ago) link

i used to date a guy who lost his virginity to his babysitter

he was sort of messed up about it!

homosexual II, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:37 (sixteen years ago) link

Did he make you put him to bed so you could call your friends?

admrl, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:51 (sixteen years ago) link

or what? it's important that i know

admrl, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:51 (sixteen years ago) link

hi i was 10 years old

-- gr8080, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:20 (1 hour ago) Link

hi

-- Lingbert, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:21 (1 hour ago) Link

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 18 April 2008 21:36 (sixteen years ago) link

^ lol

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 18 April 2008 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

adam quit being creepsy

homosexual II, Friday, 18 April 2008 22:10 (sixteen years ago) link

or i'll call your mom, i swear.. not afraid to do it. still want to keep jumping on the bed? fine, dialing right now!

homosexual II, Friday, 18 April 2008 22:10 (sixteen years ago) link

"jumping on the bed"

jaxon, Friday, 18 April 2008 22:12 (sixteen years ago) link

one year passes...

"this terd's got no vital signs!"

Dan I., Saturday, 20 June 2009 00:59 (fourteen years ago) link

hi i was 10 years old

― gr8080, Friday, April 18, 2008 4:20 PM (1 year ago)

hi

― Lingbert, Friday, April 18, 2008 4:21 PM

am0n, Saturday, 20 June 2009 19:31 (fourteen years ago) link

hahahaha

s4rgent boy tell em (The Reverend), Saturday, 20 June 2009 19:35 (fourteen years ago) link

hi i was 10 years old

― gr8080, Friday, April 18, 2008 4:20 PM (1 year ago)

hi

― Lingbert, Friday, April 18, 2008 4:21 PM

"jesus on the cross seems like classic homoerotic imagery" (omar little), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 21:37 (fourteen years ago) link

lingberts finest moment

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 21:40 (fourteen years ago) link

hi we had a babysitter play strip blackjack with us

bnw, Tuesday, 23 June 2009 22:59 (fourteen years ago) link

hello is there an emoticon for cross-eyed while giving head

bnw, Tuesday, 23 June 2009 23:02 (fourteen years ago) link

"your face could freeze like that"

bnw, Tuesday, 23 June 2009 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link

n_u

ian, Tuesday, 23 June 2009 23:05 (fourteen years ago) link

two years pass...

hi i was 10 years old

― gr8080, Friday, April 18, 2008 4:20 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hi

― Lingbert, Friday, April 18, 2008 4:21 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

☂ (max), Monday, 27 June 2011 01:58 (twelve years ago) link

lol

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 27 June 2011 02:01 (twelve years ago) link

two months pass...

all of my babysitters were girls, we never did anything except hook jelly bracelets together to make long ropes iirc

obi wan jacoby (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 02:42 (twelve years ago) link

hi

 (gr8080), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 02:45 (twelve years ago) link

hi i was ages 0-10

obi wan jacoby (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 02:51 (twelve years ago) link

hi

max, Wednesday, 31 August 2011 02:52 (twelve years ago) link

my friend Theodore used to get down with his baby sitter. He also held congress with his ex-girlfriend's mom. heres to u missus robinson.
I wish I was smarter and not so consumed with transformers when i was 11...I could have been gettin ass.

― DEEBZ (ddb), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 20:39 (6 years ago)

Pizzataco Five (admrl), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 03:10 (twelve years ago) link

congress lol

Pizzataco Five (admrl), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 03:10 (twelve years ago) link

I don't remember ever have been babysat, except for a much older relative or two once or twice. My parents never went anywhere much.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Wednesday, 31 August 2011 09:17 (twelve years ago) link

^^

vinyl cut bro (electricsound), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 09:35 (twelve years ago) link

damn, I remember the exact moment that I developed a sense of shame about my babysitter seeing me in my underwear. maybe if I'd just lounged around for a little while longer...

kkvgz, Wednesday, 31 August 2011 13:49 (twelve years ago) link

damn, I remember the exact moment that I developed a sense of shame about reading the opening post in this thread

delmar dillinger (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 13:52 (twelve years ago) link

itt ppl get all Sophie B. Hawkins

beemer douchebag (DJP), Wednesday, 31 August 2011 13:52 (twelve years ago) link

five years pass...

babysitters

so much to answer for

F♯ A♯ (∞), Friday, 6 January 2017 17:51 (seven years ago) link

holy shit I spent like half an hour searching for a post on this thread last year. so happy to have found it.

it turns out it was "terd" with an 'e' and not 'u'

mh 😏, Friday, 6 January 2017 19:52 (seven years ago) link

youre welcome

F♯ A♯ (∞), Friday, 6 January 2017 21:34 (seven years ago) link

I had a babysitter get fresh with me. then a neighbor girl prob 16, me 10.

fkn transformers!

rip van wanko, Friday, 6 January 2017 22:05 (seven years ago) link

transformative

F♯ A♯ (∞), Friday, 6 January 2017 22:22 (seven years ago) link

hi i was 10 years old

-- gr8080, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:20 (1 hour ago) Link

hi

-- Lingbert, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:21 (1 hour ago) Link

Le Bateau Ivre, Saturday, 7 January 2017 00:06 (seven years ago) link


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