I Almost STOLE this Guy's Craigslist Date

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working late Fri and at corner near 4, 5 train smoking fast so i can get the hell home. this sort of cute girl is standing there too waiting for someone, looking around. she approaches me and asks if i'm "Jim". it dawns on me this is a blind date gone awry, mine for the taking.

but then I figure she's cute but not worth spending money on to be called Jim all the time. plus, wife and baby are at home waiting for me, etc etc.

― Gee, You Knit? (mookie wilson), Saturday, 22 October 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

you should of at least fucked it up for the real "jim"

― cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 22 October 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

i'm one of those people who can't do that. also can't give fatass tourists false directions, dunno why.

looking back she wasn't that hot, I think it was the french canadian accent that killed me.

― Gee, You Knit? (mookie wilson), Saturday, 22 October 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

Correct answer is always: "I could be."

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 23 October 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

Instead of pretending that you're the Jim that she was looking for, you could've just prentended to yourself that Jim was your name anyway.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 23 October 2005 00:21 (twenty years ago)

i like to pre tend.

― amon (eman), Sunday, 23 October 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

it's not lying if you believe it's true..

― Gee, You Knit? (mookie wilson), Sunday, 23 October 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

This is a beer commercial!

― barf bag special (mistymartinez), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

I did your wife's operation, she is going to me out of service - m4m - 32
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2005-10-17, 11:31PM EDT

I was the surgeon that did your wifes operation last week. You thanked me with a long hug and it seemed like you felt me up a bit. Was feeling the same connection just didn't think I should feel you up. Your wife is going to be out of service for quite some time now, no need for you to go un-serviced while she is flat on her back. Maybe you need a bud like me to help you out some nights, wouldn't mind getting my chance to feel you up too. If you are having any scheduling problems let me know, I can increase her pain meds and that will knock her out so we can have a good couple of hours together. Hey this is just between buds, right, its a man thing women just don't understand. Let me know which night is good for you.
TTYL
Doc Paul BTW Did you notice the instant hardon when you hugged me? Yeah I think you hot too.

* this is in or around Hospital
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

― DR. FRANK EINSTEIN PHD (cprek), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

hahahahahahah brilliant

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

this world we live in is rawrsome

― bb (bbrz), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

nine months pass...

I love Craigslist:

http://boston.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/168139387.html

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 09:37 (nineteen years ago)

i'm into scat

ba dee doo do bap be dop bop

lol

― nazi bikini (harbl), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/mis/194229868.html

Ghostriding - m4w - 28

Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2006-08-14, 9:25PM EDT

Me - ghostriding at the Orange ball parking lot - you - making out with your boyfriend in a civic. You looked at me as I was dancing on the hood. Maybe we can ghostride together?

* this is in or around Rockville
* yes -- it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

― =[[ (eman), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

roffle

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/mis/197179746.html

its over. - 23
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2006-08-21, 11:12PM EDT

and i wont call you anymore and i pray that you never come looking for me again. im changing my number. i dont want to play this codependant, destructive game anymore. its gone on entirely too long and i am too beautiful, intelligent, charming and graceful to be dating a pathetic fool who would dare compare me to the trash he sleeps with when i am away. They cannot compare to me, which is why you always come back. my sex drips diamonds and gold and you know it and you know i know it too, you ass. you can't touch me, you never could. that is why you sleep with gutter trash. to placate your sorry male ego, because i refuse to diminish my stature, standing and intelligence so that you can feel like the smartest person in the room. your not. its okay. but dont stop by and dont attempt to find me. i used to admire your strength but now i realize that you are weak, i see it falter in your eyes when you look at me, because you realized that you've shown your hand and i see you for who you are. you are weak and only strong men can handle me. and you, my dear, cant handle me, sexually or otherwise. i dont love you anymore. goodbye

― Lazy Comet (plsmith), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 02:35 (nineteen years ago)

my sex drips diamonds and gold

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 03:05 (nineteen years ago)

so that you can feel like the smartest person in the room. your not.

― mentalismé (sanskrit), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

my sex drips diamonds and gold

anyone else immediately hear shirley bassey belting out "gooooooollllllld-finnngaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" after reading this?

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

breaking up with prince is hard to do.

― M@tt He1geson: Real Name, No Gimmicks (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

for some reason i think that CL post belongs on the paris hilton thread

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

this world we live in is rawrsome
-- bb (b...), October 25th, 2005.

― bb (bbrz), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/m4w/197353421.html
Don't Want a 10
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2006-08-22, 9:24AM PDT

10's have from every man to choose, so they can afford to be choosy. I'm a nice guy... nice looking... etc. but I'm tired of being dragged around the city gates, seeing if some other guy is willing take my place. I don't want to work that hard (plus the gravel hurts!) I'd like someone nice looking (not Stunning, not gorgeous, not achingly beautiful!) with a good heart, to be my best friend. Alan

Ps. Sometimes I can be ambiguous... like if there's this pimple on your nose and you ask if it bothers me, I won't always know how to answer... I hope that won't be a problem! For the record, I'd like you to know that despite what your 'head says' I'm never going to cut-and-run! I am not that kind of man.

* this is in or around Tacoma, WA
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

http://c.im.craigslist.org/vq/AV/yDIiNJNorinEEInvmPnRIO9ycH70.jpg http://c.im.craigslist.org/6a/2o/tAR7BVzimcACafHuvAyPsE9zfQmd.jpg

― A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

Sometimes I can be ambiguous... like if there's this pimple on your nose and you ask if it bothers me, I won't always know how to answer...

what?

― Lazy Comet (plsmith), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 18:31 (nineteen years ago)

rofl @ pics of 2 completely different dudes WTF

― =[[ (eman), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

I'm pretty sure they're actually the same guy. The picture on the left is him looking younger and fresher. The pic on the right is him looking like a guy that wears a red bowtie.

Also, the left pic is obviously staged. Who still takes those kinds of photos at his age?

This guy is just one more dubious thing I've seen/heard about Tacoma.

― A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 05:39 (nineteen years ago)

Is that Calvin Johnson?

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 06:54 (nineteen years ago)

hahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 06:55 (nineteen years ago)

???

― bb (bbrz), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

http://c.im.craigslist.org/vq/AV/yDIiNJNorinEEInvmPnRIO9ycH70.jpg http://www.netwalk.com/~truegger/ftrh/dean-tv1.jpg

― =[[ (eman), Thursday, 24 August 2006 01:58 (nineteen years ago)

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