The Groom's Cake

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why on EARTH would anyone want a cake that looked like themselves

WHEY AHR MAH DREGUNS? (DJP), Monday, 4 June 2012 19:27 (twelve years ago) link

aaahahaha oh god these cakes

real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Monday, 4 June 2012 19:30 (twelve years ago) link

MANCAKES

real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Monday, 4 June 2012 19:30 (twelve years ago) link

marlboro cake

what is wrong with people

real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Monday, 4 June 2012 19:34 (twelve years ago) link

a big cigarette butt made out of cake

open wide honey. mm-mm.

real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Monday, 4 June 2012 19:35 (twelve years ago) link

I'm actually impressed with the ice bucket one

WHEY AHR MAH DREGUNS? (DJP), Monday, 4 June 2012 19:35 (twelve years ago) link

http://photos.weddingbycolor-nocookie.com/p000002775-m43944-p-photo-130280/grooms-cake-jordans.jpg

hmmm, shoes. so … jordany.

pplains, Monday, 4 June 2012 19:46 (twelve years ago) link

http://media.cakecentral.com/gallery/674391/600-1326944843.jpg

pplains, Monday, 4 June 2012 19:47 (twelve years ago) link

This was on a messageboard about grooms' cakes, but I have my doubts.

https://p.twimg.com/AqjQRW0CMAEo_Bs.jpg

pplains, Monday, 4 June 2012 19:50 (twelve years ago) link

The second deer cake looks like it's got deer diarrhea all over it.

carl agatha, Monday, 4 June 2012 20:02 (twelve years ago) link

Shelby: Wedding cake in the dining room and the groom’s cake … hidden in the carport?
M’Lynn: Shelby and I, we agree on one thing.
Shelby and M’Lynn: The groom’s cake.
Shelby: It’s awful. It’s in the shape of a giant armadillo.
Truvy: An armadillo? You’re joking, right?
Shelby: No, Jackson wanted a cake in the shape of an armadillo. He’s got an aunt that makes them.
Clairee: It’s unusual.
M’Lynn: It’s repulsive. It’s got gray icing. I can’t even begin to think how you’d make gray icing.
Shelby: Worse, the cake part is red velvet cake. Blood red. People are gonna be hacking into this poor animal that looks like it’s bleeding to death.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 4 June 2012 20:09 (twelve years ago) link

^^ Got to have this convo in my star turn as Shelby in my HS's production of Steel Magnolia's. It's what I always think of when I hear "groom's cake".

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 4 June 2012 20:09 (twelve years ago) link

G DAMMIT

This better work:

http://www.invitations4less.com/images/Steel-Magnolias-Grooms-Cake-102611.jpg

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 4 June 2012 20:11 (twelve years ago) link

phew

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 4 June 2012 20:11 (twelve years ago) link

i want a cake shaped like ilx

liars - wkiw (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 4 June 2012 21:36 (twelve years ago) link

http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4126/5141685290_860610dcf2.jpg

carl agatha, Monday, 4 June 2012 21:39 (twelve years ago) link

there you go, whiney.

pplains, Monday, 4 June 2012 21:42 (twelve years ago) link

oh that's upsetting on several levels

WHEY AHR MAH DREGUNS? (DJP), Monday, 4 June 2012 22:26 (twelve years ago) link

http://images.theknot.com/blogs/stylefile/RWT07SS_JennKyle_GroomCake.jpg

looks like a rat died on the cake while it was stored in the kitchen overnight. I assume that's some team's mascot. But still. It couldn't be standing?

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Monday, 4 June 2012 23:07 (twelve years ago) link

No results found for "tarkus wedding cake".

;_;

emil.y, Monday, 4 June 2012 23:10 (twelve years ago) link

I wonder how much it costs to get a water tower cake made. I want one!

Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Monday, 4 June 2012 23:12 (twelve years ago) link

The best thing about the Marlboro cake (which, lol) is that the ashtray is proportionately the size of a thimble.

Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Monday, 4 June 2012 23:14 (twelve years ago) link

I thought the thing on the football field was an armadillo (it's actually a really bad terrapin), so I googled football armadillo, and now I'm glad I did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGzVMQjiUT0

barman's bar mitz (unregistered), Monday, 4 June 2012 23:52 (twelve years ago) link

Keep expecting Gumby or Pokey to walk out under that water tower.

And then knock the lid off that tobacco can.

The armadillo cake is disgusting. It looks like fish skin after it's been descaled.

Convert simple JEEZ to BDSMcode (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 5 June 2012 13:26 (twelve years ago) link

ten months pass...

"Taco Grooms Cake" is probably the best idea on this thread of horrible ideas.

https://www.ambrosiabakery.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/wedding_cake_image_resize_full_preset/TacoGroomsCake%20copy.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 4 May 2013 17:44 (eleven years ago) link

sorry, couldn't find an android.

http://cdn.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/iphone_cake.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 4 May 2013 17:45 (eleven years ago) link

Look away, look away, look away from this Dixie cake.

http://cdn.cakecentral.com/e/e2/900x900px-LL-e2be6783_modulescopperminealbumsuserpics1523005-04-07_Confederate_Cake.jpeg

pplains, Saturday, 4 May 2013 17:51 (eleven years ago) link

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w6/westgard_lorri/DSC08469.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 4 May 2013 17:51 (eleven years ago) link

Can I retroactively get an awesome groom cake like these? Me and Carl only had cupcakes at our wedding.

Jeff, Saturday, 4 May 2013 20:38 (eleven years ago) link

We also had pie!

carl agatha, Saturday, 4 May 2013 20:47 (eleven years ago) link

Oh yeah. Also I was = drunk.

Jeff, Saturday, 4 May 2013 20:50 (eleven years ago) link

lol @ Storage Wars

ḉrut (crüt), Saturday, 4 May 2013 21:01 (eleven years ago) link

i am getting married in EXACTLY TWO WEEKS. like basically to the hour and since i am an idiot i didn't even CONSIDER a taco-themed grooms cake. luckily the ambrosia bakery is in nearby baton rouge.

they also made this one:

https://www.ambrosiabakery.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/wedding_cake_image_resize_full_preset/Sculpted_Crawfish_2010%20copy.jpg

adam, Saturday, 4 May 2013 21:15 (eleven years ago) link

I want a groom cake that looks like Diddy Kong.

Jeff, Saturday, 4 May 2013 21:17 (eleven years ago) link

I want a Biz Markie groom cake

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 6 May 2013 17:06 (eleven years ago) link

"Groom's Cake" sounds like slang for some disgusting sexual act

huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Monday, 6 May 2013 17:07 (eleven years ago) link

taco themed cake is awesome

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 6 May 2013 17:08 (eleven years ago) link

lol I just found out a local bakery made this

http://www.villagecakeshoppe.com/2002/grooms/cake37.jpg

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 6 May 2013 17:10 (eleven years ago) link

do 5 year old boys get married?

http://www.villagecakeshoppe.com/2002/grooms/cake9.jpg

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 6 May 2013 17:11 (eleven years ago) link

lol aimless

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 8 April 2014 20:04 (ten years ago) link

I think (or something similar) was a tradition in several places/cultures. I would've been fucked because I didn't bleed at all which afaik is pretty common. I was in gymnastics when I was little and then took horseback riding lessons from 4-12 so there was a lot of opportunity for plenty of accidental hymen breaking before I actually had sex. Not that I'm complaining but it kind of made the whole thing a little anticlimactic. No pain and no blood and no real pleasure because I was so nervous made it all a little "Oh, that's it?".

― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, April 8, 2014 12:51 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I hope I will not regret this post, but I just want to point out "I would've been fucked" and "a little anticlimactic"

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 8 April 2014 20:07 (ten years ago) link

pplains u are the king of the grooms cake

1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Friday, 11 April 2014 06:26 (ten years ago) link

I thought this was kinda morbid at first,

http://i.imgur.com/wC8zEOH.jpg

until I realized you're supposed to "read" it from the bottom up.

pplains, Tuesday, 15 April 2014 00:22 (ten years ago) link

i feel like we lost some fundamental idea of what a cake is/was, somewhere along the way, as a society

1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 April 2014 00:49 (ten years ago) link

computerized image-to-icing transfer has much to answer for

Aimless, Tuesday, 15 April 2014 00:51 (ten years ago) link

They got a name for the weddings in this world,
But I want a cake when I lose.

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/ea/4c/6e/ea4c6ed294738a2c2fe6886f5ee158d0.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 15 April 2014 01:17 (ten years ago) link

I could probably tour the whole damn SEC for bad grooms cakes, but the first thing I saw on Pinterest five seconds ago was "Alabama grooms cakes" as a fixed search term.

pplains, Tuesday, 15 April 2014 01:18 (ten years ago) link

one year passes...

But first, getting back to the SEC for a moment...

http://i.imgur.com/RZcBbdS.jpg

---

Pretty sure this is somehow SEC-related too.

http://i.imgur.com/kZ5LcyM.jpg

---

SEC, though B1G12 definitely a possibility.

http://i.imgur.com/Fmh3SYf.jpg

---

OK, now. Getting out of hand.

http://i.imgur.com/1u87aXS.jpg

---

http://i.imgur.com/p8fTHi6.jpg

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No, seriously. It looks just like the painting. It's got wings and everything.

http://i.imgur.com/Q0jN4DJ.jpg

---

Not sure what football conference this is from.

http://i.imgur.com/K054tmW.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 15:38 (eight years ago) link

Didja hear that even "geeks" get married now too?

http://i.imgur.com/L4fc0NX.jpg

---

No, a Jabba the Hut cake sounds like the perfect accompaniment to a perfect day.

http://i.imgur.com/MOXyhiC.jpg

---

"I do."

"I know."

http://i.imgur.com/wNuQOq1.jpg

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Not sure which conference. PAC 10 maybe?

http://i.imgur.com/GXjVaSP.jpg

---

And you thought it was weird someone would marry a Star Wars fan...

http://i.imgur.com/8Njbe9T.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 15:43 (eight years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/TbdQR9R.jpg http://i.imgur.com/QUSD4yA.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 15:44 (eight years ago) link

I know that squashed dog cake is college football related but it's gross and upsetting and a nice encapsulation of why I hate college football enthusiasm.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 16:32 (eight years ago) link


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