in this imaginary world where one can have too much mayonnaise
― microsloth fig stimulator (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 12 April 2021 04:36 (three years ago) link
I have some in my fridge
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Monday, 12 April 2021 08:45 (three years ago) link
i don't think i've ever bought a jar of mayonnaise.
― koogs, Monday, 12 April 2021 10:19 (three years ago) link
Squeezy bottles = the future of mayo
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Monday, 12 April 2021 11:17 (three years ago) link
The present, even.
― "The Pus/Worm" by The Smiths (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 12 April 2021 13:31 (three years ago) link
The future of mayo is aerosol cans.
― "The Pus/Worm" by The Smiths (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 12 April 2021 13:32 (three years ago) link
Pre-mayonnaised bread slices
― "The Pus/Worm" by The Smiths (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 12 April 2021 13:33 (three years ago) link
The other week in the supermarket I saw squeezy sauerkraut -and- squeezy sauerkraut combined with mustard!
― In on the killfile (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 12 April 2021 13:56 (three years ago) link
I draw the line at squeezy Marmite.Heinz mayo tastes weirdly of salad cream iirc? Yet is not actual Salad Cream.
― kinder, Monday, 12 April 2021 15:10 (three years ago) link
my housemate is allergic to loads of things and reckons the Heinz variety is bad for him while cheap Lidl mayo is fine; he reckons there's more mustard int he Heinz stuff
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Monday, 12 April 2021 15:12 (three years ago) link
speaking of mayonnaise. the idea of a "famous pimento cheese sandwich" is terrible. but it also works as a symbol of what The Masters is. an exclusive 'tradition' surrounding an experience that is ultimately a shredded cheddar and mayo mixture on wonderbread.
― microsloth fig stimulator (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 12 April 2021 16:43 (three years ago) link
when you become president you get a free, endless supply of fried bologna
― Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 12 April 2021 16:45 (three years ago) link
Reaction videos for books. Just some person reading a book and going "woah" or "yuck" or whatever and occasionally stopping to explain how they really liked that paragraph they just read.
― silverfish, Tuesday, 13 April 2021 21:58 (three years ago) link
Teens read "The Waste Land" for the first time
― Jurassic parkour (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 13 April 2021 22:17 (three years ago) link
I was thinking about my reaction videos for books idea and was wondering if it would work better with audiobooks and then I'm thinking well that would basically just be audio commentaries for audio books and then it struck that the most terrible idea would probably be video commentaries for audio books which I guess is something like a music video except it's for an audio book
― silverfish, Wednesday, 14 April 2021 13:21 (three years ago) link
Would you have, like, more than one teen reading the book at the same time? So the faster reader gets to a certain part a bit sooner than the other?
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 13:27 (three years ago) link
silverfish i really like where this idea is going
― Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 16:59 (three years ago) link
there could also be reaction books for books. and it's just a photocopy of the book with writing all over it. like when somebody underlines a sentence fragment and writes "wow!" in the margin.
― microsloth fig stimulator (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 17:06 (three years ago) link
all proceeds to the reactor of course
― microsloth fig stimulator (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 17:08 (three years ago) link
oh nice, like irl comments on books!
― Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 17:10 (three years ago) link
very vintage, analog-feel
― Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 17:11 (three years ago) link
comments on books me, please
― microsloth fig stimulator (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 17:18 (three years ago) link
one in every ten vaccines should contain nutrients that make your farts smell like bakery fresh muffins
― P-Zunit (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 14 April 2021 17:42 (three years ago) link
Pre-mayonnaised bread slices― "The Pus/Worm" by The Smiths (hardcore dilettante)
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 15 April 2021 06:05 (three years ago) link
welp, i gotta go to bed. there's nothing left to see today
― Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Thursday, 15 April 2021 06:14 (three years ago) link
A mash up of the weeknd’s star boy and the untitled goose game
― a hoy hoy, Thursday, 15 April 2021 17:39 (three years ago) link
a band that insists they make humorous parodies of popular songs "like weird al", but all of the parodies are straight covers with lyrics clumsily adjusted with "the song" or "the singer", e.g. the first verse of their parody of 'Helpless' would go something like:
There is a song about a town in North OntarioWith dream, comfort, memory to spareAnd in the singer's mind, he still needs a place to goAll his changes were there
the singer would be cracking himself up the whole time, acting as if the lyrics were just the goofiest shit ever. maybe they cover an instrumental song in a different key and laugh themselves to death at the end.
― If you value Vox, we have an axe (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 30 April 2021 18:20 (three years ago) link
as in:There is a song in New OrleansThey call the Rising SunAnd it's been the ruin of many a singer boyAnd God, I know I'm one?
― Long Tall Arsetee & the Shaker Intros (breastcrawl), Friday, 30 April 2021 18:26 (three years ago) link
Wait, like he's just singing along and then stares pointedly at the audience as the music drops out for half a second and drops 'THE SINGER' in a real stilted way and then returns to performing the song as straight as he can while doubling over with self-satisfied laughter? It's like you have a spy cam in my house or something, so eerie.
― You Can't Have the Woogie Without a Little Boogie (Old Lunch), Friday, 30 April 2021 18:28 (three years ago) link
xpost Presumably 'And God...THE SINGER...knows...HE'S..one (uncontrollable guffaws)'
― You Can't Have the Woogie Without a Little Boogie (Old Lunch), Friday, 30 April 2021 18:29 (three years ago) link
yeah and would be clumsier in rushing to add words so "There is a song about a house in New Orleans" where "thereisasongabouta" would be sung very quickly in the usual span of "there is a"
― If you value Vox, we have an axe (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 30 April 2021 18:30 (three years ago) link
and just laughing their asses off about their humorous parody of these popular songs
― If you value Vox, we have an axe (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 30 April 2021 18:32 (three years ago) link
God, that sounds unbearably obnoxious, I love it.
― You Can't Have the Woogie Without a Little Boogie (Old Lunch), Friday, 30 April 2021 18:33 (three years ago) link
you can find a lot of this sorta thing on youtube i would imagine
― Draymond is "Mr Dumpy" (forksclovetofu), Friday, 30 April 2021 19:00 (three years ago) link
lol, yeah was gonna say, my small handful of YT videos mostly exist to annoy any random googler who accidentally happens upon them. Seems like what the service is there for, pretty much.
― You Can't Have the Woogie Without a Little Boogie (Old Lunch), Friday, 30 April 2021 19:05 (three years ago) link
A service that occasionally interrupts your spotify playlists with track idents and optional ai generated jingles and dj chat.
― I was born anxious, here's how to do it. (ledge), Saturday, 8 May 2021 20:12 (three years ago) link
A brand of fish sticks called Cod Pieces
― Triumph of the Willa Cather (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 8 May 2021 22:49 (three years ago) link
a murder mystery novel about a professional-chef-turned-murder-mystery-novelist that gets wrapped up in an actual murder. Excerpts from the chef-novelist's work show that he uses only detailed food or cooking imagery to describe the gruesome crime scenes. gradually, the author of the encapsulating novel begins to do the same with details of the real murder. like the smoke from a chile de arbol roasting in the pan, it hits you -- you're reading my memoir.
― If you value Vox, we have an axe (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 13 May 2021 19:06 (three years ago) link
The singer thinks you're so vainThe singer thinks you probably think this song is about you
is that the idea? xp
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 May 2021 19:40 (three years ago) link
precisely! everyone will recall that song and how the singer thought they are so vain -- hilarious!
― If you value Vox, we have an axe (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 13 May 2021 19:47 (three years ago) link
A series of youtube videos in which I blow strangers' minds by speaking to them in perfect English
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 17 May 2021 18:20 (three years ago) link
Thank God I finished reading that sentence
― Feta Van Cheese (Neanderthal), Monday, 17 May 2021 18:21 (three years ago) link
"Hey, how are you? My name is man alive. Do you shop in this convenience store often?" "Wow, that's amazing. Where did you learn to do that?""I was born here in the United States, as were both of my parents. In addition, I have lived here my entire life and studied English throughout school and in college. Further, I majored in English literature in college.""Whoa! Your English is so good!"
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 17 May 2021 18:23 (three years ago) link
*American
― mh, Monday, 17 May 2021 19:01 (three years ago) link
a reactions channel on YouTube but it's just people reacting to dull, generic stock photos of everyday household items. I would keep the camera on them until they said something interesting, even if it took hours, and post the videos unedited except for some tinkly ukulele music on a loop.
― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 25 May 2021 15:21 (three years ago) link
I would only hire tired middle-aged people without any skill in public speaking, and film them after a long day at work.
― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 25 May 2021 15:22 (three years ago) link
loop the drum break from Jack and Diane in the background and put it in a gallery
― ai-plus-oli (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 25 May 2021 15:55 (three years ago) link
sounds great to me tbh
― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Tuesday, 25 May 2021 16:16 (three years ago) link
I had a dream last night about a new product and I'm unsure whether it belongs itt or if I should go on Shark Tank ASAP. It's the Toupiary, which is basically a combination of a bald cap and a Chia Pet, for the follocularly-challenged. Let the bidding begin.
― Jerome Percival Jesus (Old Lunch), Friday, 28 May 2021 16:09 (three years ago) link
the toupiary allows you not be bald anymore while snacking on delicious alfalfa sprouts all day. you could say the toupiary is a twofer!
― superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 28 May 2021 16:27 (three years ago) link