1p3 pun all-stars

i'm hella confused now

I just came up with this:

Maimonides has a first name, it's M-O-S-E-S!

Actually I'm not sure if that's really a pun.

unless there's something i'm missing, i don't think it is

well yeah maybe it is cause of "mai"

D'OH!

i'm opening a family owned dog catching company called "brothers carry mutts off"

heyo!!!!! back in business

Or a black-owned dog catching business.

ok i am just bored of you today

a pal told me he put a hole in my yard and filled it up with water. he meant well

back when the ussr was still around, an american couple went to st. petersburg to visit. one day, they took a tour with a russian man named rudolph. midway through the tour, rudolph told them they'd have to stop, since it was going to rain. the man of the couple was confused, since it was a sunny day, and he told the guide he wanted to continue. his wife stopped him, though, saying, "rudolph the red knows rain, dear."

Unlikely story, there are no Russian men named Rudolph.

boil your head

Rudolf Nureyev
Russian dancer
in full Rudolf Hametovich Nureyev
born March 17, 1938, Irkutsk, Russian S.F.S.R. [now Russia]
died Jan. 6, 1993, Paris, France

--Encyclopedia Brittanica

during the middle ages, finland found itself occasionally at war with neighbors sweden and denmark. solidiers in finland's army began adorning their armor with images of snakes and soon found this to be an effective deterrent against attack. it is unknown whether the serpents' appearance truly intimidated enemies, or if they instead provided finnish soldiers with enhanced bravado in battle. either way, historians agree that their unusual military successes of the period were somehow linked to the use of finn shield vipers.

hahaha i love it, such a huge build up for such an awkward pun

i used to work at a dental care firm years ago, during world war two, and we did a brisk amount of business with the army--supplying fluoride and floss and other kinds of provisions to soldiers overseas. we had a great relationship with the army; they loved how efficient we were, and so they started to hire out other tasks to us, easy stuff like troop transport, tank repair, etc. anyway, one day our military contact, a sgt. ross, called us up and asked to meet him in a secret location. wed never done anything like this before but a bunch of the management headed over to meet sgt ross at his army base. ross let us in and sat us down at a long table, and basically told our group that the army was dangerously overextended, and because they trusted the work we did, needed us to help them out with a top-secret mission--transporting a high-value german prisoner across, where he would be interrogated. seeing how much ross needed our help, we agreed, hesitantly, and within a few days had one of our cargo boats in manchester, outfitted with a small prison, ready to take the POW back to the US. of course, we ran into trouble: our security guys, experienced though they were, miscommunicated with british military intelligence, and didnt secure the prisoner properly. distracting his guards with a handmade flash-bang, the german prisoner was able to weasel his way out of the handcuffs and escape! to make matters worse, military intelligence had more leaks in it than a rusty bucket, and word soon got out to the press--the next day, the guardian's headline read "tooth company frees a kraut"

worst pun: home improvement title Yule Better Watch Out

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Friday, October 13, 2006 12:18 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this really is the worst pun of all time... it's like it means christmas and also... christmas

and "you will better watch out"?

im so disappointed in home improvement :(

lol @ max's screed and also the reprisal of "you will better watch out"

trying to come up with a good pun concerning a publication that does reviews of miniature golf establishments

"reading this magazine was a hole in fun"

ahahaha

publishing a putt-putt magazine would be a Quixotic effort.

swinging at windmills

thats p good hoos

Gladimhere Putin is my favorite golf pun, but it isn't really applicable here.

hahaha it could be

"I submitted 10 puns to a pun contest hoping one of them would win, but no pun in ten did."

i am waiting for there to be consipracy theories over who jessica biel's baby daddy is just so i can say 'biels within biels'

HOOS off the hook itt, makin big money off the books itt........BIG PUN

oops, I forgot to rhyme!

ur off the hook, BIG HOOS,
making big money off the books ..........BIG PUN