rolling Jericho calls The New Day trap queens 2016

i know what you mean but i still prefer to be up to date with it, reduces the risk of accidental and minor spoilers from some of the websites i read. once you're caught up with a show the new episodes start feeling like a treat each week in a way that just doesn't happen for me when i've got them all queued up.

Oh NEVER EVER READ LU WIKIS. I wanted to look up Rey Rey last week and i got burnt.

Yeah, WMX7 is amazing. What's weird is that it was the peak of the Attitude era but also its "jump the shark" moment -- and both were evident at the time. You have a stacked card, killer payoffs to all the big storylines, and a huge main event that delivered and then some. You also have the Rock's career as a full time wrestler coming to an end (after RAW the next night he was off to film a movie for the next three months), Austin's WTF were they thinking heel turn (in Texas???), and the WCW C-team watching the show from the nosebleeds in a prelude to the botched WCW invasion.

ok wtf the network just auto unsubscribed me? ugh

apparently it can't handle changing cc info so it just cancels your account

anyway i discovered the greatest taker promo of all time

https://40.media.tumblr.com/30185813c9277736dce2d3a7bf3f5cad/tumblr_o4brmewujE1qzb8z0o1_540.png

Not bothered watching Raw this week, but I saw the news about the IC title ladder match at Mania, which is basically Money in the Bank with the belt instead of the briefcase, which is fine by me.

idk, past time they abandoned thhe multi-man ladder match imo, money in the bank or otherwise. about a decade past time.

Yeah considering zayn-owens was their chance at a legit 5 star amazing match also *mania moment* its a load of shite. Even if it was a ladder match, those steen-genrico ladder matches were insane.

Otoh well done zach ryder, you'll finally be in a mania match 6 years too late.

Calm down peeps, this is WWE we're talking about! Things haven't got quite desperate enough for them to give what the IWC says they want.

just read the recap for raw, boy am i glad there's a reason they stuck sin cara and ryder in that match... when i saw the booking w/o context i was like "holy shit, just how many people ARE injured?"

I guess they wanted a car crash opening match like ... the exact same IC title ladder match they had last year. At least the champion isn't a lame duck this time. I still don't get they didn't do a fatal four way with Owens, Zayn, Miz, and Ziggler. Aren't there enough gimmick matches on the card already?

i know it's the equivalent of saying "i' watching the super bowl for the commercials" but at this point i think i am watching wrestlemania for the entrances

aare there any arnold movies coming out this year for hhh to ape in his entrance?

Oh man, I hadn't even thought to get excited for HHH's entrance this year. His last two were fantastic.

kinda hoping that kalisto comes to the ring riding a flying dragon and ryback comes out with tank treads stapled to each of his legs

yeah tbf no matter what's happening on the card it's impossible not to be at least a little bit excited about the pageantry. Full brass band to provide musical accompaniment during the New Day match! or can someone at least dig out a couple of Naitch's old robes for him Charlotte to wear to the ring? Provided he didn't sell them all on eBay in 2010 or whatever.

Raw wasn't up to much last night but it was so good seeing the Funker on WWE tv again! Cautiously optimistic for the Ambrose / Lesnar match following the Funk / Foley appearances, though I still think they need to do something special to establish Ambrose as a truly dangerous lunatic rather than just a kooky am-dram oddball. really get some hype behind him heading into the match. The old Roddy Piper "beer bottle over the head" spot or similar would serve. like, if you ever needed lessons in how to convince a bunch of slack-jawed rassle-fan boobs that you were a legit crazy man....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzvNPq_5P2g

may the lord bless thee and keep thee, Hot Rod, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

i like how 3/7 of the IC ladder match were literally introduced as a joke

i guess you could handwave it as owens is a heel so he was just fucking with the real ("real") competitors but really it just came off as lol these guys suck

that said i would almost be into one of them winning over anyone else in that match (don't want ziggler/miz to win because zzzzzzz, kinda don't want don't want owens/zayn to win so they can feud without the belt)

thing is it can't be ryder because he's working nxt and it can't be sin cara because seriously are the lucha dragons going to hold the us and inter? but... fuck that leaves stardust. make the cody rhodes face turn now and give him the belt? idk wrestlemania is stupid

^ as if that's the only reason it sohudn't be sin cara lol

think it's got Sami Zayn written all over it tbh, but then i'm applying logic to the situation and shit, can't be banking on them doing the same. surely gonna be either that or Owens to retain though.

I'd actually quite like to see them have a good long run fighting over the belt, the way Jericho and Benoit did way back when. start it off in singles, have it get increasingly heated with the gimmick matches and the uber-personal promos, maybe have them trade the belt a bit; they could go till Summerslam with that.

again, i don't know why the hell they wouldn't do that as a proper exciting upper mid-card feud is exactly what the show has needed for god knows how long and it would be the making of both Zayn and Owens. but i daresay they'll rush the whole thing through in a month and a half post-Mania with a bunch of distraction finishes and 3 minute Raw matches.

That would be incredible. Also zayn has never got his comeuppance on owens, and to somehow have him win the multi man stuff or screwy finishes or keep zayn on a leash until summerslam or even wm33?

God knows theyd have no idea how to pull something like that off though.

loool New Day to induct the Freebirds into the HoF, this company is hilarious

http://www.rollingstone.com/sports/features/the-rise-and-fall-of-wrestlings-weed-dealing-cat-breeding-phenom-20160323?

that was a fun read Mordy! the "old" wrestling industry can never truly die while you've still got fuck-ups like Teddy stumbling around.

so according to Meltzer's recap, the following are just some of the matches happening in and around Dallas this weekend -

Reigns - HHH
Shane - Taker
Lesnar - Ambrose
Sasha - Charlotte - Becky
Styles - Jericho
Joe - Balor
Zayn - Nakamura
Bayley - Asuka
American Alpha - Dash/Dawson
Aries - Corbin
Sabre Jr. - Will Ospreay
Ricochet - Ospreay
Timothy Thatcher - Marty Scurll
Adam Cole - ACH
Kyle O'Reilly - Matt Sydal
Kyle O'Reilly vs Adam Cole
Young Bucks - Motor City Machine Guns
Roderick Strong - Bobby Fish
Ospreay - Scurll
Chris Hero - Sabre Jr.
Ibushi/Gargano/Perkins - Ospreay/Scurll/Tommy End

won't all be available at once of course, but that is still a LUDICROUS amount of wrestling. and that's not even counting the Ric Flair pre-Wrestlemania party at a local bar/restaurant!!! god i would kill to be in Dallas this weekend

who is will ospreay? i guess i stopped following indies.

he's one of the new English school of guys that are making waves at the moment, a high-flier up there with Ricochet and Ibushi for smoothness. Meltzer loves him and has been giving him increasingly rave reviews as he's emerged over the last year or two (to the extent that he's called it that Ospreay vs Ricochet or Ospreay vs Sabre Jr. will be the match of the weekend.

his profile's about to take a jump it seems cause he's signed up with NJPW and he's booked to face Kushida for the junior's title at Invasion Attack next month. Not a bad way to debut!

Yep, Ospreay is great - impressive high-flyer with remarkable body control, and top-drawer heel charisma. He'll be a star in New Japan no doubt.

Takeover Dallas and Mania predictions, anyone?

Takeover:

Aries
Nak
American Alpha
Crews
Joe
Bayley

Mania:

Taker
Reigns
Ambrose
Styles
Charlotte
Owens
New Day

what do u think they're going to do w/ shane after taker wins?

Probably nothing. Shane goes back to working behind the scenes and appearing on camera once in a while (assuming he's back working for the company full time again) and the Authority goes on being the Authority.

Aries Corbin (it's about time he won a big one, and Aries will do ok without this one)
Nak - i can't imagine sami winning but i wouldn't mind either way, prob my most hyped match of the weekend
American Alpha - please yes
Crews - this can be the only outcome, right???
Joe - now or never i guess
Bayley Asuka - joe/asuka at the top of the div is just too exciting to imagine not happening, and bayley to wwe seems inevitable

Mania:

Taker - how not?
Reigns - given last year's swerve, there's gotta be SOMETHING this year that fucks it up, and reigns/brose standing tall only for brose to take out roman seems right
Ambrose - yeah
Styles - if he loses, this never ends does it?
Charlotte Sasha - not sure if it's my head or heart but i can't see sasha not walking away with it. bosses gotta boss
Owens Ryder or Stardust - i can imagine a wacky swerve where KO/Zayn cancel each other out, Zig/Miz cancel each other out, Sin Cara falls off the steps on the way to the ring, one of these two steals one for a "wtf(tm) moment sponsored by digiornio" or whatever
New Day League - why would the champs bother winning a non-title match even at wm?

(Andre) Kane - and then he retires lol jk idk let's just #prayforcesaro
Kalisto - i don't think i hate anyone more than ryback, don't make me pick him
Nobody - divas vs divas is a lose-lose

I'll stick to NXT predictions first, not really thought too much about Mania yet

Corbin / Aries I can't pick tbh. do you wanna start Aries off with a debut loss? do you want to job out Corbin's "I hate indie geeks and I'm better than them" gimmick just as it starts getting good? Let's say a non-finish with Corbin beating Aries' ass post-match, it's about time he got some proper heat on him.

Crews / Drifter who gives a fuck, they need to go back to the drawing board with Crews in a big way imo, Drifter has been getting a nice little push so maybe he takes this?

Nakamura winning is the most predictable result of the weekend, there's just no chance in hell that he doesn't get this. Zayn will probably win at WM so it's fine, you always lose on your way out of the "territory" (you know HHH loves that kinda shit)

American Alpha are definitely winning here I think.

For the two singles titles... i dunno actually. Asuka's definitely getting the belt at some point but I could see Bayley clinging on for the next Takeover show, don't really see any need to rush this change through.

Balor might turn sometime soon I guess? he badly needs it and bringing in the Bullet/Balor Club dudes here to help him retain would be a pretty great shock ending to set up a Balor / Nakamura program maybe? yeah i dunno, apparently Nak is gonna be working Jericho through the summmer for the main roster Japanese shows so who the fuck knows. Balor vs returning Itami? I'd be pleased to see Joe win it but I wouldn't be surprised if they keep the belt off him and he's there to function as an upper-card gatekeeper.

Also first confirmed names for the Cruiserweight Invitational thing - Rich Swann, Johnny Gargano, Zack Sabre Jr., Tommaso Ciampa, Noam Dar, Ho Lun Lun, Akira Tozawa.

idk anything about Ho Lun Lun or Tozawa, quite excited about the other guys. Seems like they're pushing for relatively big guns as indy performers go. King Cuerno was approached but is tied down to his Lucha Underground / AAA deal.

It's repeated so often nowadays but it very much bears repeating - it is CRAZY how much the indy and international scenes bleed into the WWE right now. like there is now a clearly defined path from Korakuen Hall or your local high-school gym to the main WWE roster, Wrestlemania etc. When you remember how things were even like 6 or 7 years ago it's just fucking nuts

Winners I feel moderately certain of: Asuka, Nakamura, Styles, Lesnar, and Reigns.

The match I'm looking forward to most, by far, is Alpha/Revival, in part because I really don't know what they'll do. I'm most intrigued by the possibility that the Revival might win clean. That would further the storyline they've set up with Jordan and Gable never being able to win the big one (stretching back to their amateur days), which would give some character to this feud beyond good guys who win a lot vs. bad guys who win a lot. Plus it would cement Dash and Dawson as tag team kingpins, making it that much more meaningful when J&G finally take the titles down the road in the 2/3 falls match they've been workshopping at house shows.

Then again, I saw a guy on another wrestling board point out that there are no other major matches on the show that allow for a big crowd-pleasing babyface victory. That does make me think the Revival are probably going down.

in NXT i've got corbin, nakamura, american alpha, crews, joe + bayley in gutsy all heart title retention that proves she's bonafide - can win against the monster - before rematch formally gives title over to asuka (and sends her up to raw). raw divas division is still a little cluttered i think and nxt a lot of the next gen of women don't seem ready to take the next step. like if they send up bayley who feuds with asuka? you already know she can beat emma + dana w/ ease. carmella, alexa bliss, and nia jax are all getting there but none seem like credible champion threats.

mania i think i'm going to be contrarian - hhh goes over reigns in main event bc they're scared of the boos, lesnar obv, styles, sasha banks (50/50 on this one), i say owens retains, new day. is the new day match really non-title? that's absurd. also - i think shane over taker bc why bring him back and all of this just to drop it? it seems more reasonable to me that this is taker's last wrestlemania than that shane came back just to lose this match.

for me the a big sign that shane's going to win is his semi-shoot comments about how the company's going down the toilet with vince and trips and steph in charge, i don't imagine you legitimately badmouth your own product unless there's some kind of shake-up on the horizon

i'm hoping for a reigns win + heel turn but it could be difficult to do well since the fans couldn't possibly boo him any more than they already do. maybe attacking the rock for some reason could do the trick

The trick would be to have him turn heel on the segment of the crowd that still likes him, without flipping his detractors the other way. I think if he snapped and went nuts on Ambrose with a chair like he did on Triple H a few months ago, a lot of people would go "whoa, Reigns is cool now!" (Although that would probably still be preferable to what we've got now.)

nxt

drifter but really who cares?
asuka, and bayley debuts on monday hugging/consoling becky about her wm loss
the revival, for reasons JRN said earlier
nak but i secretly think a double countout/dq or something; if only matches had time limits still
aries wins w/ a shock roll-up or something and corbin fucking destorys him and any indie guys who come out to help him (the czw ref would be a good one here, the crowd would get it) and maybe also regal etc. to get heat despite losing
joe? just knowing anderson and gallows are signed makes this so hard to predict

potentially the best wwe show since wm30, best north american show since ultima lucha and if it actually hits every top note, potentially one of the best shows of all time. its an understatement to say im excited. also knowing who the fans are, knowing see joe and asuka win won't be seeing *heels* win, especially as they'll still be loved, and it will be the first time almost all of the crowd would have seen these respected performers.

mania
armbar - eh strowman?
divas thing - eh
usos but eh
new day, hope they have a fun surprise partner
sasha, with a snoop performance*
reigns
lesnar
the fucking miz, after zayn/owens take each other out
styles
shane

*surely making this the most obvious winner of the whole weekend

monday night raw
shane shows how different things will be by starting raw as a mcmahon giving a 20 minute promo
bayley debuts as becky's mate, they have a tag match against idk team bad
zayn beats the miz for the title, having wrestled 3 big shows in 5 days (on tv this would be a big thing, forgetting house shows)
one of cena/rollins/cesaro returns and bullet club wreck the party
reigns/ambrose possible party tag, possible dissention, possible rollins return idk
lesnar's mysteriously disappeared
taker retires
a fucking great raw with a horrrrrrrrible crowd, a good enough raw that hey maybe this shane&change is shoot, only for it all to go back to shit the next week.

Wrestlemania then -

New Day are gonna win, apparently something about this performance (possibly the partner?) is gonna be a huge deal - Rocky?! actually here's hoping a triumphant Hogan comes out to help the black dudes against the dastardly foreigners and everyone forgets about that old "disgusting racist tirade" or whatever. i mean they're already using New Day to symbolically cleanse at least one old racist of his old racist sins at the Hall of Fame (were Terry Gordy and Gorgeous Jimmy racists? who am i kidding this is rasslin, of course they were - ok, three old racists), so i guess what's one more?

ARMBAR will be Kane or a Wyatt
Women's match is tough to call, though let's say Sasha because I want her to win most.
Styles wins natch
Zayn will win the IC title to set up a run with Owens. That way he doesn't lose any momentum from losing to Nak the night before

Lesnar beats Ambrose in a match that I hope is gonna be more Terry Funk / Atsushi Onita Texas Death Match than WWE "hardcore" comedy fuckery, but it's Dean Ambrose so who knows, it might be kooky as all get out

For the top two matches I don't have a fucking clue what's gonna happen, which is totally the ideal situation if you're not especially excited about the matches themselves (I'm not) because intrigue levels are through the roof and i really can't wait.

I mean they might run with Reigns beating Hunter clean and taking the boos, just put the HIAC on last. but i think they've gotta do something here - Reigns to turn heel seems the obvious shout, seeing as most of the audience are already booing him.

also - i think shane over taker bc why bring him back and all of this just to drop it? it seems more reasonable to me that this is taker's last wrestlemania than that shane came back just to lose this match.

disagree with Mordy's point here - i think Shane's return has got "OH SHIT EVERYONE] IS INJURED ALL HANDS ON DECK" written all over it. they brought him back specifically to work this feud, to get the big nostalgia pop and to put a recognisable face on the poster opposite Taker (and god only knows how tedious the build to Mania would have been without this storyline providing at least a little intrigue bcuz it's been pretty fucking tedious as is).

the way the storyline has just kinda lurched from point to point with no clear aim or direction in mind bears this out to me - they don't know what the fuck they're doing! i take the point about Shane needing to win because they've been burying the product on air and if HHH/Steph stay in control then they're kayfabe saying "hey this show sucks! please keep watching" but they do that kind of shit on air all the fucking time, i've lost count of the number of times they've told the audience "we don't care what you think" in so many words.

i'd be more surprised at Shane sticking around long term in a GM role or similar than I would to find that he was always only gonna be around for one match and in an attempt to build hype around this ludicrous feud they said some shit on air that maybe they shouldn't have and in an effort to raise stakes theyve booked themselves into a corner that should have been easily avoidable. none of that is surprising, they ALWAYS do this shit.

if Shane does somehow "win" then we have to be talking about crazy levels of interference, gimmickry and underhanded tactics. because NO WAY does Undertaker take a clean loss from Shane McMahon at Wrestlemania then retire. Like not one iota of a chance that happens. This guy has put over like three guys in his entire career (no one talks about it though because it's Taker and it's the gimmick and so on). Not in any reality does Shane McMahon get anything even approaching a clean pin on Taker at Mania.

Er i kinda think id be shocked if taker actually won cuz

1. Retirement stip, headlining potentially biggest show ever, in home state

2. The booking has been sooooo much about "we understand the product is shit" that then to have vince 'win' and go HAHAHAHAHAHA YOULL WATCH WHAT I TELL YOU the next night is possibly going to do more damage than wcw jan 4 1999.

3. This is gonna have a billion run ins, there is no need for "but shanes not a wrestler!" Type arguments. Dunno who it is who helps Shane (bullet club, cena, cesaro, rollins, reigns, hell there are vague rumours of kurt angle) but vince and steph are likely to get involved, maybe hunter, even bro kane maybe. It has huge clusterfuck potential.

4. See #2. They have been steadily losing viewers and hearing resentment from their remaining fans for a while now. To have roman win clean&babyface and not hear the boos and then taker win so theyve really admitted they know they have problems and dont gaf, could really stop a lot more people watching/subscribing.

the retirement stip in the home state thing I get, that's a totally valid point that i hadn't considered earlier and I agree that it lends some credence to the idea that Taker might lose here.

but i disagree with a lot of the rest of what you said.

2. The booking has been sooooo much about "we understand the product is shit" that then to have vince 'win' and go HAHAHAHAHAHA YOULL WATCH WHAT I TELL YOU the next night is possibly going to do more damage than wcw jan 4 1999.

a little dramatic perhaps? you're probably right that they will look to avoid that particular ending, at least they would obviously never phrase it that way. there are always opportunities to write yourself out of a difficult situation if they can get creative enough.

but let's be serious here about what it would actually mean in real terms if they went in that direction or similar. talking about anything they could possibly do creatively being as destructive to business as late-period WCW is just wrong, straight up.

the company is more profitable than ever. they're about to break their all-time attendance record with one of the weakest Wrestlemania cards in years. I'm struggling to think of one this weak in the last decade tbh. the brand is the selling point. it's not down to any one draw to carry the show, so it doesn't matter a great deal who gets the world title. there is almost nothing they could do to tank business now, it isn't feasible.

no one's cancelling their Network subscriptions if events at Wrestlemania don't go their way. the people that care about this shit are gonna keep paying out their 10 dollars a month because it's the only place they get to see Nakamura, Balor, Joe et al. and watch old Bret Hart PPV matches.

possibly going to do more damage than wcw jan 4 1999.

3. This is gonna have a billion run ins, there is no need for "but shanes not a wrestler!" Type arguments. Dunno who it is who helps Shane (bullet club, cena, cesaro, rollins, reigns, hell there are vague rumours of kurt angle) but vince and steph are likely to get involved, maybe hunter, even bro kane maybe. It has huge clusterfuck potential.

come on now man. I could maybe see Cena getting involved on Shane's behalf to set up the Cena / Taker showdown at some future date (but if Taker retires...?) or if Reigns turns heel then he might get involved somehow, but I'd be prepared to bet my life's savings that none of those others come within a million miles of the Wrestlemania main event. Cesaro is wishful thinking, Bullet Club are nowhere near well-known enough to have that spot, Kurt Angle I still don't see back in the WWE with his medical record.

I guess that even post-Streak i still just buy into the idea of Undertaker at Wrestlemania? Or more importantly I think the decision makers at the WWE (and at WM that includes Taker, no way he does shit he doesn't want to at these shows) still buy into the idea of Undertaker at Wrestlemania. I think everyone involved would want to maintain the unique, once-in-a-lifetime vibe that Lesnar win still has.

Really I would love to see Shane win and for them to revamp everything, maybe bring back the brand split, make Smackdown something worth watching again etc. all of that is totally awesome in principle and they need to do it at some point. i'm just not sure i've seen enough evidence of the will to do it, as yet? this is it tho, this is why this Mania is working from an intrigue perspective. so many possiblities! such high stakes!

*but I'd be prepared to bet my life's savings that none of those others come within a million miles of the Wrestlemania main event. Cesaro is wishful thinking, Bullet Club are nowhere near well-known enough to have that spot, Kurt Angle I still don't see back in the WWE with his medical record.

should clarify that I was referring to your parenthetical examples here, obviously Vince / Steph / Hunter are gonna have their sticky fingers all over this shit

I wouldn't read much into Shane's semi-shoot comments. If they were so self-aware about the problems with their product then they wouldn't have Reigns fighting for the belt.

Reigns doesn't need a heel turn he needs a personality beyond "big guy who used to be in the Shield".

I'm kind of dreading Bayley getting called up to the main roster, she'll be jobbing to Eva Marie in three minute matches on RAW before you can blink. I still think she's winning today and staying in NXT for a few more months.

disagree with Mordy's point here - i think Shane's return has got "OH SHIT EVERYONE] IS INJURED ALL HANDS ON DECK" written all over it.

Totally agree. Six months ago the top matches were set to be Rock vs HHH, Lesnar vs Taker, Reigns vs Cena or Rollins. Then it was supposed to be Rollins vs HHH, Taker vs Cena. They had to rebook a bunch of times because of the injuries, I can't see them suddenly deciding "well, our top guys are injured, so I guess we'll change the direction of the company".

4. See #2. They have been steadily losing viewers and hearing resentment from their remaining fans for a while now. To have roman win clean&babyface and not hear the boos and then taker win so theyve really admitted they know they have problems and dont gaf, could really stop a lot more people watching/subscribing.

What suicide commando said. They've legit sold 85 000 tickets to Mania plus 20 000 more for NXT and Raw, Vince is laughing too hard on the way to the bank to take the "problems" they half-assedly admit to on TV seriously.

I guess so. And i guess i could have worded that less dramatically. But mania will always sell out. Raws, smackdowns, house shows have all been on the downslide though, iirc, in tickets and ratings. And the fingerpoke of doom example i used, well it didnt kill wcw; but it sure as hell made a lot of people feel like turning the channel.

I also dont think shane winning will change anything, maybe some call-ups happen in his name like steph and the #divasrevolution but it'll still be presented as a big "we fucked up look we can be betterz"

As if there wasn't enough wrestling on this weekend, i've decided to make myself a little custom PPV made up of past WM matches to watch on my afternoon off and get myself in the right mood. Using this format, wrestlers can only be used once -

Opener
Tag Title match
Misc. grudge / spectacle match
IC title match
Undertaker/Streak match
World title match

Right now I think I've settled on:

Bret Hart vs Owen Hart WM X
TLC II WM X7
Edge vs Mick Foley WM 22
Macho Man vs Ricky Steamboat WM 3
Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels WM 25
Stone Cold vs The Rock WM X7

But it took me ages to whittle it down, there were so many permutations of this that would've worked. No Bryan / HHH, HBK / Razor, Savage / Flair, Austin / Bret, Rock / Hogan etc.

If i watch all that lot I might do it again using different matches. it's a fun game to play!