Brain Robot Slam, Whatchu Playing?

this reads like one of those clickhole 'how many of these games have you played' lists

TS: Dick of the King vs. First Wack

Galactic Family 3: A Tanky Crawl needs its own thread imo

Ksing Gelmor: The Time Spanger (2001, Codemasters) (Amstrad CPC)
King of the Grash (2010, Ubi Soft) (Windows)
Dance Castle (1987, Activision) (Atari 2600)
Spork Demo (?, ?) (VIC-20)
Jort: The Shorching (1991, Destomat) (NES)

One of these five. Spanger, Grash and Jort for out and out absurdity, Dance Castle for pairing oddness with the likelihood of actually existing, Spork Demo for sporks, unknown attribution and the Vic-20 seeming oddly perfect for such a game.

Though I'm now having renewed appreciation for Dank Dragon and the timeless simplicity of Christ.

do you pronounce it span jurr or spain grrr?

Macross Army (Defenders Ball House 2: League Alien) (1991, Bandai) (NES)

Branded as a Macross title for Western release since Defenders Ball House (literal translation) is unknown outside Japan.

Bishoujo no Manager (2003, author) (Linux/Unix)

actually skeezy in every column!

do you pronounce it span jurr or spain grrr?

/'spæŋə/

Like "banger", basically.

ok where did you put together that IPA version

I love love love the Zen simplicity of "Simulator."

love the minimalist body horror of "Ball Arm"

Don't let them talk shit about your pal! Stick up for your pal in Pal Defense.

Now I just hear "The Time Spanger" to the tune of Ray Barretto's The Soul Drummers and that's basically it for my night, I think

love the minimalist body horror of "Ball Arm"

ha! the sound effects alone

Christ (2008, Sega) (Arcade)

this sounds like one of those games that costs $4 to play and is over within 60 seconds

High Episode 2: Ghost Band is a game where two dudes pass a j back and forth and get deeper and deeper into a discussion of how it would be possible for incorporeal spirits to play instruments until they eventually just pass out on the couch while watching The Song Remains the Same.

Virtual Mat was a pioneering VR game where you're able to examine a mat from any angle and, with a little skill, roll it up and put it in a virtual closet.

As someone who grew up with a VIC-20, Spork Demo (?, ?) (VIC-20) could well have been a real game

I like the simplicity of Simulator, personally. No matter what its simming - it just is.

Don the Manager otoh sounds like it could be a game for accountants or something? idk

voted ball arm

It's probably not the best one here, but when I read a title like "Speed Wound", I really want to know what that game's about

picturing "Dance Castle" as some kind of medieval DDR spinoff

I just want a copy of the soundtrack for Black Mario tbh

It seems almost impossible that there's never been an actual game called "Mutant Tycoon"

In Bomber III: Part Fighter, is the bomber in question part fighter and part something else, or does the bomber fight parts?

Speed Wound is clearly an endless runner where you are the suture needle

You are Bomber III, son of Bomber Junior, and it is time for you to fight parts - in hair, for machines, of essays; speaking and non-speaking roles; and ultimately discover the true meaning of parting.

Sorry sorry sorry I just realized I'm doing that thing where you prove how clever you are by explaining how "colorless green ideas sleep furiously" can be both semantically AND syntactically sound, dudes

/'spæŋə/

― emil.y

ok where did you put together that IPA version

― The Jams Manager (1992, Brickster) (El Tomboto)

I do have an IPA keyboard thingy but usually I check the chart on wiktionary and C&P as needed. I fear making an elementary mistake and losing my linguistic credibility.

Also I've had "Lemme Spang It" stuck in my head since yesterday.

I picture Soccer Dragon being like Octodad, where you're trying to play soccer but you're mostly just destroying the field and squishing the other players.

"That 30-foot-long scaly-skinned player just burnt the ref to a crisp! He's a.... sore loser."

Conquestress is a pretty great word

The Crossword 2: Rainbow Stalin should really be on this list

https://disexplications.tumblr.com/post/159194188089/i-couldve-put-this-one-in-the-last-batch-but

Oh, poll limit, gotcha

can't win 'em all

are you ksingin' in the years
spangin' away the time

Heh, saw this online yesterday and thought it looked like ilx chum

There is now a twitter bot for these.
https://twitter.com/RobotGameDev

Well then.

Never has there been a more stark example of mortality's gift; jokes without end lose all funny

In what universe would anyone follow a twitter feed that just posts that!?

The Dog Space, obv

I totally want to play Metal Cat and Space Futures.

LOL points to Spork Race and Bishoujo no Manager.

Bro-dacious hipstalgia vibes from Dank Dragon (2004, Konami) (VIC-20).

Also I look forward to future completists seeing these titles on searches for real game companies and trying to track them down.

Metal Cat & Space Futures also this Tuesday night's lineup at your local small cash-only venue

(Neural network band names would be atrocious and also already taken, wouldn't they)

http://andrewvenell.com/everyname/

low hit rate but some gems in there nonetheless

Cloris Blasterfeldschnerz
Kopenflager Bilborf

protip, just hit refresh

Irmgard Glandersinnings and Agnes Needwifeactin are my current faves

The names on that site are pretty fantastic.

Dagnar Chemtrails
Grayder Mouthfeel
Yarm Boiler
Helmy Myriamcalf
Scrandy Getsad
Leonor Meepcar
Chinper Morpmook-Dangborfo

truly the monkeys are getting pretty close to shakespeare

Jacinta Mandump
Fleek Shitshire
Prantine Drydickchardar
Dong Binder

somehow finding "Melissa Schlampfmorp" to be a source of endless giggles

Well, guess there's a good chance I won't be going to bed tonight:

Cackswole Skreedecker
Crawler Helmymook
Tasha Mouthmouth
Maxnerd Chambray
Sniffica Ansterdumpfalls
Maudlin Harmer
Dorff Miscavigechalms

Goal Fokmouth-Borfdag Pictures presents
An Olmel Alanfunt production of
The Karyn Twardfort Story
Starring:
Meghan Meghanjohn
Blath Derschner
Liane Castermook
Nestor Goodmerp
Hortense Manroeg
Kopenflager Terstmuller
Auster Talf
Avril Blasterfeld
Featuring:
Mince Pramthwart
Boritz Terstmuller
Chestin Cantwell
Blath Zagyanus
Brabra Humbertoporpen
Skray Blingeeglanders
Vergie Talfbeck
And introducing Alanaett de Schnerztward as 'Rod Johnson'
Written by Li Li Thudchud
Directed by Shasta Mingnuts

Thank you for new display name

Crad Heemusweed

I am definitely thinking of figuring out this neural network stuff just so that I can run all of ilxor.com through it and create a parallel bot board. For mostly-lurkers like me a decision would then have to be made about which board we lurk at.

singularity would mean we'd all be FP'd on the first day, it's what we really want

Remember that AI that Microsoft let loose on Twitter that turned into a neo nazi in less than a day? I figure any AI worthy of the name that's fed the ilxor corpus would immediately decide to emulate tim@kfc and/or GARU G

The effect of that website is greatly assisted by the occasional inclusion of a 'Vickey Feldman' or a 'Jennifer Schooler' amidst the 'Carmel Tangelafunk's.

"Hilda Misery" is too perfect

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Now we have fortune cookies:

Now is the time to go ahead and not prepare to live.
Hell! It’s the onset of a friendship
Do not have a peaceful place where you will feel better.
There’s no success and friendship.
You cannot love life until you live the life you don’t good luck.
Carve your name on your parents.
Be on the finest men like the floor.
You will make mead.
Better ask doods when you can do it, you will never be disappointed.

awesome! we should probably have a neural network poetry thread if we don't already.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Only one vote for Christ. Typical ILX.