NFL 2015, WEEK 10: Ryan Fitzpatrick on Rex Ryan saying he's not handsome: "I have five kids so something's working."

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Buffalo at NY Jets (-3) aka Whose Fans Goon Harder

Detroit at Green Bay (-11.5)
Dallas (-1) at Tampa Bay
Carolina (-5) at Tennessee
Chicago at St. Louis (-8.5) aka The Return of Molly Welker
New Orleans (-2) at Hatcats
Miami at Philly (-6)
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (no odds) aka Do You Appreciate Michael Vick Yet
Jacksonville at Baltimore (-6)
Minnesota at Oakland (no odds)
Kansas City at Denver (-6.5)
Patritos at NY Giants (-7) aka The One Where Simmons Livetweets a Rage-Seizure

Arizona at Seattle (-3)

Texans at Bengals (-11)

slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 21:31 (eight years ago) link

i think i got that patritos line wrong but w/e somehow i think they'll survive even if their biannual (approx) kryptonite actually does serve them their first loss of the season

looking at the remaining schedules of the three undefeateds - cincy, NE, carolina - carolina by far has the strongest chance to go 16-0. their toughest remaining competition is...road games against the falcons and giants, i guess? crazy shit. bengals prob lose between 1 and 4 of their remaining games after the texans (cardinales, broncos are def hard, maaaaaybe stillers/rams could be tough) and the pats' injuries mean that giants, broncos and maaaaybe the final bills and jets games are loseable.

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 17:50 (eight years ago) link

http://a1.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=%2Fphoto%2F2015%2F1111%2Fr24707_741x417_16%2D9.jpg&w=570

Perfection / Overlord Kraken

polyphonic, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 21:49 (eight years ago) link

wtf w these uniforms

lag∞n, Friday, 13 November 2015 02:13 (eight years ago) link

it's like christmas

metro slothrop want some more (slothroprhymes), Friday, 13 November 2015 02:24 (eight years ago) link

Hurts my eyes

Brad C., Friday, 13 November 2015 02:33 (eight years ago) link

good finish

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 13 November 2015 04:27 (eight years ago) link

calm down rex, you'll put yourself in hospital

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 13 November 2015 04:27 (eight years ago) link

i thought he only circled the patriots games, lol what a clown

call all destroyer, Friday, 13 November 2015 04:30 (eight years ago) link

wins a road game to break .500, acts like he clinched the playoffs

call all destroyer, Friday, 13 November 2015 04:31 (eight years ago) link

lol brutal

lag∞n, Friday, 13 November 2015 15:34 (eight years ago) link

they really shdve thought of that, premiere league where color on color matchups are the norm has rules for preventing this sort of thing iirc

lag∞n, Friday, 13 November 2015 15:35 (eight years ago) link

since when does the NFL allow both teams non-white uniforms? i thought the rule was, one team has to have white jerseys?

brownie, Friday, 13 November 2015 16:04 (eight years ago) link

first time i can recall they do it sometimes in the nba now too, the whole alt uniform situation is so out of control

lag∞n, Friday, 13 November 2015 16:20 (eight years ago) link

I liked the uniforms, kinda made 'em look like video game characters

frogbs, Friday, 13 November 2015 20:58 (eight years ago) link

Rex: "It's like being dumped by the girl you have the hots for and every now and then they want you back - and they can't have you back"

earlnash, Friday, 13 November 2015 23:02 (eight years ago) link

Jets/Bills playing for a Wildcard spot might be a big game in the last week.

earlnash, Friday, 13 November 2015 23:06 (eight years ago) link

if the jets had won that i would've given them a clear edge for the 2nd wildcard after pittsburgh but idk oakland is playing better than both these teams right now. maybe with tyrod back buffalo will finish strong.

Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 14 November 2015 02:07 (eight years ago) link

Pittsburgh has a pretty rough schedule and Rofflesburger is going to be out again for a couple weeks, right?

Oaktown's schedule has some pretty tough games.

I think all four of them (Pittsburgh, Raiders, Jets & Bills) are going to come down around 9-7.

earlnash, Saturday, 14 November 2015 19:10 (eight years ago) link

football outsidrs give jets big edge

http://i.imgur.com/QlSAzKI.png
http://i.imgur.com/2EXaKFi.png

lag∞n, Saturday, 14 November 2015 20:13 (eight years ago) link

o wait thats out of date ha

lag∞n, Saturday, 14 November 2015 20:16 (eight years ago) link

before thurs game they did

lag∞n, Saturday, 14 November 2015 20:16 (eight years ago) link

the natiom is divided

http://i.imgur.com/umNsZxA.png

lag∞n, Saturday, 14 November 2015 20:21 (eight years ago) link

lol eastern TN is still stuck with Broncos games because Peyton played for the Vols in the 90s.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Sunday, 15 November 2015 03:24 (eight years ago) link

And Indianapolis too for similar reasons.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Sunday, 15 November 2015 03:25 (eight years ago) link

why houston tho

lag∞n, Sunday, 15 November 2015 13:58 (eight years ago) link

Kubiak fanzone obv

wishy washy hippy variety hour (Hunt3r), Sunday, 15 November 2015 14:09 (eight years ago) link

lol big kubiheads down there

lag∞n, Sunday, 15 November 2015 14:12 (eight years ago) link

maybe its that the whole state except houston is dallas fans and they want to root against the giants, hence the most westward expansion of the red

lag∞n, Sunday, 15 November 2015 14:13 (eight years ago) link

the natural dividing line w out special interests wld be the mississippi

lag∞n, Sunday, 15 November 2015 14:15 (eight years ago) link

not sure if eagles are playing well or dolphins are just in complete meltdown

Mordy, Sunday, 15 November 2015 18:32 (eight years ago) link

pretty sure saints defense is just that terrible

14-7 hatcats

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Sunday, 15 November 2015 18:34 (eight years ago) link

21-14 washington and still 9:40 left in the second quarter

this is entertaining

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Sunday, 15 November 2015 18:56 (eight years ago) link

Vicious facemask on Manziel.

schwantz, Sunday, 15 November 2015 19:01 (eight years ago) link

lol the Browns have 112 yards in pass interference penalties

brownie, Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:05 (eight years ago) link

go for more imo

lag∞n, Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:06 (eight years ago) link

packers O in freefall

lag∞n, Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:20 (eight years ago) link

browns/steelers have a combined one yard rushing so far

brownie, Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:23 (eight years ago) link

wow hatcats

johnny crunch, Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:23 (eight years ago) link

shoulda gone to this game at fedex

washington pick-six of drew brees just now

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:24 (eight years ago) link

browns with the ball on the Steelers half yard line with a first down...

...don't score

brownie, Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:32 (eight years ago) link

roger goodell is at the pats-giants game

apparently talking to the krafts on the sidelines right now

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:42 (eight years ago) link

dolphins eagles game is really one of the most grotesque things i've ever seen

J0rdan S., Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:43 (eight years ago) link

there was just a TD negated because the dolphins had 12 men on the eagles did an illegal shift

J0rdan S., Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:44 (eight years ago) link

mark sanchez just got jordan matthews murdered

J0rdan S., Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:44 (eight years ago) link

https://twitter.com/jeffphowe/status/665991845764186112

washington is so far ahead i flipped to the jags/ravens game which is also pretty grotesque imo

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:45 (eight years ago) link

mark sanchez just pegged demarco murray in the back on a wheel route

J0rdan S., Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:53 (eight years ago) link

mark sanchez trips demarco murray on a hand off

J0rdan S., Sunday, 15 November 2015 21:01 (eight years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CT6LP7yUcAA6NfE.jpg

lag∞n, Monday, 16 November 2015 05:23 (eight years ago) link

Broncos in a spot. Only saving grace they got losing Manning is that they are at least 7-2, they got some tough games and I can't see them playing any better than .500 ball rest of the season out.

You know ole' boy is going to have blitzes coming out his pockets to have the Bears drop on the Broncs next week. That isn't even taking in that I would think Cutler would enjoy beating Denver any chance he gets too. They f-in thumped the Rams last week even with some key injuries (no Forte).

Sun 11/22 @ Chicago 1:00 pm ET
Sun 11/29 New England 8:30 pm ET
Sun 12/6 @ San Diego 4:05 pm ET
Sun 12/13 Oakland 4:05 pm ET
Sun 12/20 @ Pittsburgh 4:25 pm ET
Mon 12/28 Cincinnati 8:30 pm ET
Sun 1/3 San Diego 4:25 pm ET

earlnash, Monday, 16 November 2015 23:46 (eight years ago) link

Raiders got a slim shot to win the west, but they need to win out in division. Their non-division games are a bit better. Probably need to go 6-1 to win division.

Sun 11/22 @ Detroit 1:00 pm ET
Sun 11/29 @ Tennessee 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/6 Kansas City 4:05 pm ET
Sun 12/13 @ Denver 4:05 pm ET
Sun 12/20 Green Bay 4:05 pm ET
Thu 12/24 San Diego 8:25 pm ET
Sun 1/3 @ Kansas City 1:00 pm ET

KC is in a similar boat as the Raiders, maybe a bit easier schedule as their toughest non-conf. game is the Bills. Reid's clubs seem to play good teams tough and then play stupid against weak clubs. Still have to go 6-1 to get to 10-6.

Sun 11/22 @ San Diego 4:05 pm ET
Sun 11/29 Buffalo 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/6 @ Oakland 4:05 pm ET
Sun 12/13 San Diego 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/20 @ Baltimore 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/27 Cleveland 1:00 pm ET
Sun 1/3 Oakland 1:00 pm ET

Denver at 7-2 really needs to go at least 3-4 to win the division. They could probably win it going 2-5, but that would definitely open a window for Oaktown or KC to perhaps catch them.

earlnash, Monday, 16 November 2015 23:51 (eight years ago) link

NE and Cincy have their divisions pretty much won. I'd say even with the East being a bit more competitive, NE still got a much better shot to go undefeated in division and win home field. AFC North division games are always dicey to win as these clubs just seem to play up to each other especially at home. Cincy does get the Ravens and Steelers at home but they got to go to Cleveland. I got to think they are going to lose one of those games.

I'd believe it could end up NE 16-0 and Cincy 15-1. If the Pats lose one, I guess at Miami or Jets might be the game but they usually use the East to towel themselves off.

earlnash, Monday, 16 November 2015 23:57 (eight years ago) link

Colts could probably go as bad as 7-9 and win the division.

Texan's schedule is pretty brutal as their QB play. They can't win more than 2 games I figure.

Mon 11/16 @ Cincinnati 8:30 pm ET
Sun 11/22 NY Jets 1:00 pm ET
Sun 11/29 New Orleans 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/6 @ Buffalo 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/13 New England 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/20 @ Indianapolis 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/27 @ Tennessee 1:00 pm ET
Sun 1/3 Jacksonville 1:00 pm ET

J-ville looks like the darkshot team to me, especially if they knock off the Colts in a couple weeks. They got to go 5-2 including beating the Colts to win the division. Big step, but I think the two games with the Titans, Chargers and Houston are feasible with a win over INdy and losses to ATL and NO it is not a probable scenerio, but also not out of realm of possibility.

Thu 11/19 Tennessee 8:25 pm ET
Sun 11/29 San Diego 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/6 @ Tennessee 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/13 Indianapolis 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/20 Atlanta 1:00 pm ET
Sun 12/27 @ New Orleans 1:00 pm ET
Sun 1/3 @ Houston 1:00 pm ET

earlnash, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 00:03 (eight years ago) link

just yesterday i said "what does rob ryan have to do to be fired" and turns out the answer was allow kirk cousins to get a perfect qb rating.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 03:12 (eight years ago) link

this game seems not great

lag∞n, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 03:29 (eight years ago) link

i don't think tj yates is going to be able to help with that

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 03:34 (eight years ago) link

seems fitting to see tj out there on the day case keenum was made a starting nfl qb

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 03:38 (eight years ago) link

the backup qb class of 2011/2012 is rising like the living dead

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 03:40 (eight years ago) link

anyone know what christian ponder is up to?

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 03:42 (eight years ago) link

Welcome to the Yates Hotel!

frogbs, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 03:49 (eight years ago) link

fitting end to a nutty weekend of games, possibly the most inexplicable

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:25 (eight years ago) link

way to go houston!!! glad i watched the second half of this terrible game

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:26 (eight years ago) link

jj watt has been rehearsing this interview for a couple weeks

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:29 (eight years ago) link

lol hes kinda a douche huh

lag∞n, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:30 (eight years ago) link

delivered his set without even looking at his notebook, what a pro

lettered and hapful (symsymsym), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:31 (eight years ago) link

lol hes kinda a douche huh

― lag∞n, Monday, November 16, 2015 11:30 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah he just crossed the line for me, team is now 4-5 which iirc is not license to be a smug fuck

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:33 (eight years ago) link

jj watt is super lame imo

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:38 (eight years ago) link

is ray lewis's fedora part of a matching set with his suit? i do not like that.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:39 (eight years ago) link

i mean i don't want to see watt get injured or anything, just for carolina to play a game vs houston where they win by 40 points & cam newton does a td dance in his face & maybe tears down a texans banner?

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:41 (eight years ago) link

lol he is comically disingenuous

lag∞n, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:41 (eight years ago) link

i feel like this all got started w/hard knocks, like some agent's hand has been up his ass since august

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:43 (eight years ago) link

what did he say??

frogbs, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:47 (eight years ago) link

it's not what you say / it's how you say it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq28pCZWL-I&t=2m24s

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 04:58 (eight years ago) link

http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2015/11/16/9748152/j-j-watt-red-ryder-bb-gun-andy-dalton

embarrassing for everyone involved

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 13:26 (eight years ago) link

oh my god Dalton who the f cares

frogbs, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 13:48 (eight years ago) link

lol at It's the integrity of this game

Hopefully the league will review the tape and award the Bengals a victory.

brownie, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 13:51 (eight years ago) link

either way good to see the Bengals are finally in playoff form

frogbs, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 13:52 (eight years ago) link

lol dalton came out worse on his "respect the integrity of the game THE KIDS ARE WATCHING" nonsense... he's in the wrong sport shoulda been a pitcher.

I know when that Ott line zings (Spottie), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 16:04 (eight years ago) link

two real cool dudes

lag∞n, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 16:05 (eight years ago) link

he's in the wrong sport shoulda been a pitcher.

― I know when that Ott line zings (Spottie), Tuesday, November 17, 2015 11:04 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol seriously

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 16:12 (eight years ago) link

i wonder if andy dalton thinks jj watt was talking about his cock
i think andy dalton thinks jj watt was talking about his cock

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 17:20 (eight years ago) link

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/opinion/article45163665.html

My daughter sensed the change immediately – and started asking questions. Won’t he get in trouble for doing that? Is he trying to make people mad? Do you think he knows he looks like a spoiled brat?

I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

I could tell she was still thinking about it as we boarded a shuttle back to our car. “I guess he doesn’t have kids or a Mom at home watching the game,” she added.


somebodythinkofthechildren.jpeg

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 17:55 (eight years ago) link

idk what that woman is doing to her daughter to make her be like that but i think someone ought to look into to

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 18:07 (eight years ago) link

I would like to pen an opinion piece in response:

To the Tennessee mother whose 9-year-old thought Cam Newton looked like a spoiled brat after celebrating a touchdown:

STFU. God.

I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 18:10 (eight years ago) link

dab on them folk

tsrobodo, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 18:18 (eight years ago) link

I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders

uh okay

frogbs, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 18:48 (eight years ago) link

ppl who let their children watch this violent brain damage game then get upset at dancing, lol my cousin got extremely huffy on facebook re richard sherman yelling in front of her kids and we fought

lag∞n, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 19:05 (eight years ago) link

i found waldo's abs

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 20:05 (eight years ago) link

that von miller dance one of the season highlights def

lag∞n, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 20:26 (eight years ago) link

NFL is suspending Raiders' LB Aldon Smith one year for his role in an Aug. 28 incident, per league source.

damn

polyphonic, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 22:09 (eight years ago) link

Arizona's game planning

http://mmqb.si.com/mmqb/2015/11/17/nfl-carson-palmer-arizona-cardinals-inside-game-plan

polyphonic, Wednesday, 18 November 2015 20:25 (eight years ago) link

RIP Doug Flutie's parents

http://www.wcvb.com/news/doug-fluties-parents-die-on-same-day/36526436

polyphonic, Wednesday, 18 November 2015 21:13 (eight years ago) link

seems legit

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 19 November 2015 22:11 (eight years ago) link

lol

lag∞n, Thursday, 19 November 2015 22:56 (eight years ago) link

lol football stats

k3vin k., Thursday, 19 November 2015 23:04 (eight years ago) link


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