Yesterday's EastEnders

big fat hard man

Phil (pointing to toilet): "Remember that?"
Ian: "No Phil! NOT THE TOILET OF DEATH!!!11!!1"

Copper: "You're soaking wet sir."
Ian: "Well I'm just out the bath (WITH ALL MY CLOTHES ON!)."

I liked the coppers surrounding Phil then deciding to take him on one at a time a la every Bruce Lee film ever. Two sore faces later they decide mob-handed might be a better strategy.

As we never saw the ladies physically disposing of/burying Den's body, one assumes that the door is open for him to crawl back in another 14 years' time.

What I don't know, yet, is if he came back for two episodes or if we're going to have to go through six weeks of courtroom tedium now.

Perhaps he could appear in that ghastly-sounding People's Court thing that's just started on daytime ITV.

(nb: Phil did not literally flush Ian down the bog - we were denied that pleasing spectacle)

The Ol' Bill. He's still to be tried after Dirty Den stitched him up in a robbery.

(x-post) You never see Pauline with hair tucked behind her ears any more - is she hiding the join?

Ed, it's P@m $t Cl3m3ns who is *supposed to be* the muff diva with the newsreader girlfriend (and is a posh old luvvy to boot). Furthermore, she doesn't even live in Marylebone.

Jesus though, Enders is unwatchable these days, and this thread reminds me that it has been that way for at least a year. Why can't I give up watching it, why?

The Don.

come again?

crap how they started with jonny allen being OMG THE BIGGEST MOST RESPECTABLE CRIME LORD IN THE WORLD OMG, and now he's just going to turn into yet another play thing for the script writers to abuse for the mitchell brothers (who are basically just two bouncers).

And Peggy "I'm a MITCHELL" Mitchell will hopefully stop spouting that line now her boys are back.

As for "He/She's not worth it" uttered by Billy umpteen times a night - God! Get a new line!

I await with pleasure Phil's unintelligible explanation of how he isn't banged up.

Is Grant the undisclosed 3rd party who is buying The Vic? Will he get back with Sharon? Who will be killed during the Proper Family Christmas?

Never mind, you'll be getting some Sonia Jackson/Fowler lezzing-up action soon.

Sonia's new "cultured" best mate, inspired by the fact that Martin's a thicko wingnut who doesn't want to go to Tate Modern or read Animal Farm (and good on him, I say), decides Sonia needs a bit of girlie love.

come again?

Oh, steady on, Finbarr Saunders.

Is Grant the undisclosed 3rd party who is buying The Vic?

Nah, that would be Beale the Squeal, apparently.

Tonight's episode was just Phil'n'Grant by numbers, and rubbish it was too. Still, anything that deflects attention from the lame attempt at an injection of humour that is the Garry'n'Minty show is OK by me.

it was 1984 actually

Madness.

and i can't believe that johnny allen is some god-like status crime lord and phil hasn't even heard of him since he was a baby. and the fact that he had to ask Dot (?!) for information on the mitchell brothers, surely he has contacts elsewhere.

Grant and Phil weren't quite "by numbers" last night. The "I'm too old for this caper, can't we just stand around looking hard?" bit was good, though Grant didn't take long to revert to type afterwards.

xp