TITTWIS 41: In grind mode, tryin' to get that bank

The rest of the day was a mixed bag. The low points are thoroughly confusing, but the high point was intoxicatingly rich.

I'm still going to have to give it a 9.5.

I'm going to go make my emergency office girl coffee so I can open my eyes.

Today's the first day of my new job and I got up way too early. hurrah!

Otherwise, well, it was an interesting weekend, but not what I'd call good outright.

Good luck on your first day, Sam!

I was supposed to do work over the weekend, but I put it off until Sunday night and then I felt kinda pukey after I had dinner so I just went to bed. I feel better this morning, but now I have even more work to do today than I'd planned.

I really need to stop telling work that I can get stuff done over the weekend. It always seems like it won't be tough to put in a couple hours Sunday, and then I never want to.

new job so far great. I have three screens on my desk and every flavor of creative software imaginable. woo-hoo!

Huk, did you have your root canal yet?

I'm in a such a good mood it's ridiculous. I always fear something coming along to wreck good moods.

tell me about your spring weather so I can be jealous.

It's supposed to be 80 here today - the sky is relatively clear, but you can see a layer of haze over the hills. It seems a shame to waste it by being in the office all day.

!!!!????

michael that sounds lovely.

we're having a heat wave here and it's miserable. also the mosquitoes are out of control.

my eys hurt from staring at these screens.

Have been out of town for the past couple of days as my mother's in the ICU. so sick of sickness in my family. her health has done nothing but go downhill steadily for the past few years. Now I'm feeling slightly guilty like I should've stayed longer although there wasn't much for me to do.

also this visit and this scare just made all the more obvious the many issues my mom and I have. Now I can't stop thinking about the problems and how I'm going to fix them. B/c this week I truly thought my time to fix them had passed and I would have to live with the unresolved-ness for the rest of my life. I've been given a reprieve and must do something now. ugh.

and I come back to work to find some annoying (older) women in desktop support are sending me mockups of how they think I should change our dept.'s homepage layout. excuse me? I'm the web designer, not you. keep your word doc. designs to yourself. ergh.

now I've got to go build some interactive pages, plug them into a sql db I have to build, test them, and oh yeah, do the graphics. all by the end of the day.

I just want to crawl into a hole. or at least back into bed.

I can also empathise with your coworker problems. Everything would be so much easier if I was just left alone!

on the other hand I have only just realised - after years of guilt - that it's not up to me on my own to fix it.

No it isn't up to one side to fix it but you can't sit back and wait for the other side to do so either. you have to make the effort needed of you and let them respond.

or at least that's what I need to do with my mom. My grandmother dying last year has just put that much more distance btw us. Since then my mother has kind of opened the door by saying that when her mother died she realized how much they weren't close and she didn't want to make the same mistake with me. There's my cue to speak up.

But I haven't yet b/c my mother's health is so touch and go. I really expected her to die before my grandmother. her doctors have basically said she will never get "better" we just have to keep her from getting worse. So all the things I feel stand between us, I've been reluctant to bring up b/c it won't be pretty. I don't want to upset her, make her sicker etc. also my mother's a petty, selfish queen. She has no qualms about cutting family out of her life and depending on how she wants to react to the things I have to say to her she could decide to cut me out. My brother says that will be her choice and it's a risk I've got to take b/c she'll never address these issues herself. And she and I will never be close until they are aired.

arrrggghhhhh.

Pretty good thanks luna, apart from the heat! A few aches and pains but I have more energy than I did at first - just looking forward to 20 week scan in two weeks. Oh and thanks for your ecard :)

I still don't have a nice pregnant looking bump though, just a podgy bit that looks like I've eaten too many pies :(

Spencer was over at my mom's house tonight with Eric to set up my mom's new computer, and her brother the cunt, who lives there, physically threatened my child. Apparently, Spencer took a tootsie roll pop over to mom's and laid it down on the table before going off to watch daddy set up the computer, and Bryan ate it without asking him. Spencer, as some children are wont to do, got upset and demanded that Bryan pay him a dollar so he could go to the store and buy another ten pack (you can't buy them singly there, you see) and Bryan said "well, shouldn't have left it out on the table." Spencer then got a glass of water and said "if you don't give me the dollar, I'll throw water on you."

We stop here to note that his parents do not condone or tolerate threats, and have spoken to him about this in the past.

Spencer says that Bryan then chased him through the house into the back room where he ended up "trapped behind the door to teach him a lesson about respect and what happens when you threaten people who are bigger than you," (a direct quote from Bryan to me). Eric was in the room, and saw Bryan viciously shove the door handle into Spencer's chest out of the corner of his eye. At that point, he stood up and threatened to throw B off the balcony, had a minor yelling match with my drunken mother (who swears Bryan is telling the truth even though she was in the other room and Eric and Spencer both told the same story to me separately), and packed Spencer up and brought him home.

I tried to call over there, but neither of them will talk to me after I tried to explain to them Spencer's side of the story and refused to accept that Bryan didn't "do it on purpose" or, in a later version, didn't do it at all. "Aimee Aimee Aimee, he says, you're overreacting." I'M OVERREACTING? You physically threaten my son, shove a pointy doorhandle into his chest WHILE YOU HAVE HIM TRAPPED BEHIND THE DOOR, and I'm overreacting?

He's lucky I don't go throw him off the balcony myself.

How does that work, exactly? :)

I don't know what to tell you about your mom Luna. I think that shall be my situation soon. This hospital round has highlight some of her problems and we (family) can't ignore them anymore. I'm feeling like whatever resolution is tried it will end up with she and I no longer speaking. and that's just the way it is.

Oh hell, I don't know. Nevahmind.