this is the thread where you copy and paste whatever other posts on ilx made you laugh out loud

--------------------------------

No.
-- rolci (rolc...) (webmail), February 6th, 2003 3:48 PM. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i didn't say NB shd be shot, i said he shd be set on fire and have his kid taken away!!
however it's true, my gung ho attitude to pyromania and child abduction *are* two of the reasons society is so gnarled up today

-- mark s (mar...), February 6th, 2003.''

I was devastated when Steve Perry left Journey and they broke up. Although it seemed terrific at the time because "Oh Sherry" is fucking fantastic.

-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 6th, 2003.

-- Fuzzy (fozzi...), Today 4:30 PM.

Graham I have changed my mind - you must keep this bug feature in forever.

This may be the greatest response ever.

A brief history of Time

Runs for cover...

-- Dave B (REMOVETOREPLYdave.boyl...), February 6th, 2003 10:35 PM.

it really is. is that funny?
-- amanda (cmdrslapp...), Today 3:23 PM.

Have you tried whittling it?

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 7th, 2003 12:36 AM.

!!

-- o. nate (syne_wav...), February 7th, 2003.

Nirvana: nevermind. This is great < / sarcasm > haha. A++ in the sense of D --. In fact so D-- it's B!! ;-) A back-in-the-day front-of-the-bus triumph of a disaster. *You'll* "love" it of course (but hey, you KNOW what I think of you...) Pah (as we here at Guilty Pleasure Central say). DO YOU SEE?!!

-- mark s (mar...), February 7th, 2003.

nevermind

----

What is this thread about?
-- the pinefox (pinefo...), March 14th, 2002.

"Trapdoor Fucking Carburettor Dung" by Terry Knight And the Pack.
-- Duane Zarakov (pfaiga...), January 26th, 2001

-- mark s (mar...), February 8th, 2003.

-- Millar

Yes. Chen Kenichi can cook my dinner anytime!

Sakai has to be the truly lover-man of them all. But in the end, there is no denying the power:

The only celebrity I think I would actually want to be.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 16th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

fukui-san?

-- Aaron Grossman (aajjg...), January 16th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

"GO, Ohta!"

...
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 16th, 2003.

-- Robin Carmoffit (onlykiddin...) (webmail), June 7th, 2002 1:00 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha,
wrong direction.

Yes it's a shame he only got to shoot one of them
-- Millar (tmilla...), February 9th, 2003. (later)

More proof that the French have no concept of justice
-- Millar (tmilla...), February 9th, 2003. (later)

Maybe there really *is* no original music or art or anything left in the world, and each generation of pop music has to reinvent the wheel and we're just sitting here, going "man, wheels are so Neolithic, man..."

-- kate (masonicboo...), February 10th, 2003 12:52 AM.

-- Mark C (boyincorduro...), Today 7:29 PM.

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), January 26th, 2003 2:29 PM.

One morning at around 5am, 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she got up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and, upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise known to mankind. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci, for the next few minutes, continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled.

She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeLucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down
her leg was a stream of brown and green syrup.

The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg (which was bent across her other leg) to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina - at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger, wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor.

Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucus. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth.

The horrified medic turned to the toilet, as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to vomit, what he saw was so horrific that, to this day, he cannot look into a toilet bowl without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp, flipping and splashing at a furious pace.

Ms. DeLucci died from her ordeal. The post mortem revealed her death to be the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor.

The investigation into her death revealed that two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. The coroner believes that while lying in the bath tub, she inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. A lesbian porn video was found in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub.

The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail
joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings.

Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had excreted them when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period. Doctors believe that, at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Overnight, the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp had begun to double in size every ten minutes.  

-- Nick (nickdastoo...), December 6th, 2001.

font color=red size=7>NICK!

-- Mitch Lastnamewithheld (mitchnet7...), December 6th, 2001.

Colour me embarrassed and disgusted. That should have read : NICK!

-- Mitch Lastnamewithheld (mitchnet7...), December 6th, 2001.

that's one of those urban myth e-mails that went round earlier in the year isn't it?

thanks for refreshing my memory Nick, I don't think!

-- chris (cbrown...), December 6th, 2001.

Nickolarse! That's not the sort of thing I want to be reading when I'm munching on my meat and potato pasty. Plus it's been heard many times before, and the aside about the lezzer porn vid is the most laughable embellishment EVAH.

-- Trevor (tricyclic_loope...), December 6th, 2001.

I'm very sorry. I wasn't sure how widely told it was. I tried remembering it the other day and no one knew what I was on about, but I was in Southampton.

-- Nick (nickdastoo...), December 6th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also your body parts are not detachable, as his are
-- Vic (Iodine99...), February 10th, 2003 3:35 AM.