"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." - The Lost Stanzas

-- Trayce (spamspanke...) (webmail), June 8th, 2005 7:06 PM.

trayce i always thought that sign was directed at men. how is it even possible for a girl to sprinkle on the seatie?

June 29, 2005 3:03 p.m. EST

Christina Ficara - All Headline News Staff Reporter

London, England (AHN) - In response to threatening water shortage reports, Mayor Ken Livingstone suggests residents not "flush the lavatory if you have just had a pee."

The water shortage facing the south of England forced Livingstone to take dramatic action to avert a crisis and address the situation.

At a press conference at City Hall, Livingstone suggested, "The quickest and most dramatic impact is, don't use a sprinkler or hose in the garden, don't use a hose to wash your car and don't flush the lavatory if you have just had a pee."

According to Livingstone, the measure would be a matter of personal choice, admitting he had changed his own behavior.

If it's yellow,
let it mellow;
if it's brown,
flush it down.
If it's runny,
THAT'S NOT FUNNY--
eat some fiber,
you wet-ass clown!

If it's rock-like,
be all Spock-like:
it's logical
to eat more fruit.
If it's noisy,
call your boys, G!
They will laugh
at every toot.

If it's stringy,
check your thingy
for colonic
parasites:
creepy tapeworms,
anal gapeworms,
wriggling butt-germs
that's not right!

If it's tiny,
lube your hiney;
maybe that'll
stretch it out.
If it's giant,
hope you're pliant!
Don't let neighbors
hear you shout.

But if it's poopy,
not too goopy,
pat yourself
right on the back.
Shut your hole and
flush the bowl and
don't forget
to wipe your crack!

"If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown... um... let it mellow."