russell brand - C or D?

that our country is going down the pan??

Sachs' granddaughter is being represented by Max Clifford. So this is going to run on until Christmas. Or until the economy explodes.

Radio DJs talking shit is not a story though really, is it? xposts

(some slight revisionism/exaggeration going on re. Brand's part in the CBB racism row - as I remember, he wasn't hugely critical of Goody, but he was hardly cheering her on either, and certainly wasn't blaming Shetty)

but did he shag shetty and/or goody

I wondered how long it was going to take Max to get in there...honestly, I could have written this.

"overpaid drivelling celebs" - bit of envy there, Simon?

As you well know, tabloids run on several basic demographic principles, one of the most key is "somewhere, readers, someone is having more fun than you." The job then is to assuage and flatter their readers, those who've settled for the mediocre middle ground, those who missed their chances to exceed themselves, or turned them down, and now grind away in joyless jobs for fear of the bailiffs.

So it's hardly surprising that papers like the Mail are happy to exploit this envy in the sense of "taking them down a peg" - i.e. reducing them to the level of their readers when their job should be vice versa - and issue hypocritical howls of canting mock-outrage at a student-level prank joke on a Saturday evening radio show aimed at a young, student audience.

Kenny Everett would have relished all this if he'd lived to see it.

I bet he'd have shagged... oh wait

"overpaid drivelling celebs" - bit of envy there, Simon?

But Brand really is untalented, and has never been funny

I can bear Ross as a presenter sometimes, but he ruined They Think Its All Over for me.

On the contrary, Brand is about the only "funny" broadcaster on R2. Ross is frequently funny on his show as well but to a great extent that depends on who his guests are.

ah well, i disagree. apples and oranges etc.

Brand was funny a couple of years ago - now instead of jokes he just says "ooohh my dinkle!!!". Ross needs to be reminded that "chat show" doesn't mean that he continually interrupts his guests and makes unfunny scripted crap jokes over the top of them.

That's why I prefer him on the radio where he's naturally funny, improvises and doesn't rely on scripts.

I think both are occasionally very funny indeed, but both are also massively prone to indulgent and aimless ego-stroking wittering. The two together is like a pair of schoolkids egging each other on to swear so much the teacher gives them detention. Which is kind of pathetic given how potentially talented they both are.

Like Pete and Dud weren't.

Or Milligan and Sellers.

Which exonerates Brand and Ross how?

They're both cunts, I'll be happy if their careers are in tatters.

I actually like both of them when they are doing what they are good at, though both have strayed way from their comfort zone through the media's insistence on overexposure of "popular" celebs (see also Myleene Klass, Anton DuBeke, Carol Vorderman, Kerry Katona, Katie Price, Jade Goody, etc etc etc) to the point where they think they can get away with anything because they are so popular and loved, when basically they were just liked for doing what they used to do before they got turned into poster children for taking the fucking piss and irritating the fuck out of everyone with their omnipresence.

HI DERE I HVAE BAALSACK!

The video footage of them making the calls immediately made me think of Derek and Clive.

"I'll be happy if their careers are in tatters" - come off it Matt, if you were them you'd love every second of this and you want their lifestyle so much, as do we all. Be honest!

OH NO LAST NIGHT I DID A POO ON UR GRANDDAGHTER'S FLANGE

"I'll be happy if their careers are in tatters" - come off it Matt, if you were them you'd love every second of this and you want their lifestyle so much, as do we all. Be honest!

what does the first bit have to do with the second bit?

Not as easy as it looks, is it, Ken?

apropos Brand impersonation

Their careers in tatters = even more airtime for Graham Norton.

I can't say I do want their lifestyles, actually; I'm by nature a reasonably quiet and lazy homebody, and I don't imagine either of them has a great deal of time for lolling around with kittens.

i wish i can get paid £6m talking about my balls, but i also wish other people don't get paid £6m talking about their balls (or mine). i'm being v honest.

if you were them you'd love every second of this

erm, Brand didn't look like he was loving too much of it on the footage of him being hounded by journos. Just repeating Krishna over and over, very nervous.

And FUCK if you think we ALL want his lifestyle, how can you make such a bollocks claim?

xposts it was very easy

how can you make such a bollocks claim?

correct term is ballsack.

I think Marcello was being facetious, dudes.

no wai matt.

i wish i can get paid £6m being facetious.

I can't say I do want their lifestyles, actually; I'm by nature a reasonably quiet and lazy homebody, and I don't imagine either of them has a great deal of time for lolling around with kittens.

Jonathan Ross has a great deal of time for lolling around with his little pugs and whathaveyou, dressing his dog up in stupid clothes forms quite a large part of his patter on his Friday night show. He's not been terribly controversial up until this point, has he? (I'm assuming this now to actually be controversial, even though I think it's bollocks). Agreed that Brand looked a bit uncomfortable outside his house, but I think he often does seem uncomfortable for one supposedly so egotistical.

I mean, look at Jonathan Ross. Plenty of fuck you money, the freedom to do what he likes how and when he likes, he can buy all the games and gadgets he wants (buy? he probably gets them all sent to him free) and be a total geek with them. And he's probably a lot more of a homebody than he gets credit for. What's not to want?

The video footage of them making the calls immediately made me think of Derek and Clive.

so it turns out jayne mansfield did have someone to push lobsters up her arse.

― Shacknasty (Frogman Henry), Wednesday, 29 October 1978 10:11 (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I wish I could get paid to talk about my hair, watch films, and have a wife with a nice cleavage.

I already do the first two.

Ambition, Jel, ambition!

(xpost) your wife has just filed for divorce, and hired Max Clifford to be her publicist for the ensuing tabloid shitestorm...

He's not been terribly controversial up until this point, has he?

He made the front pages after asking David Cameron if he ever wanked to pictures of Thatcher, apart from that I think the major controversy as far as Daily Mail World is concerned is his wages.

I wonder why he never asked the late Alan Clark? He would have got a positive response, probably.

was led to believe Brand's on air response to CBB racism was "there's been some right bad racism abaht today and no mistake my liege, it's made Mr Winkie shrink right up into my balls it has, and my balls have only gone and gone up me arse" or similar, now feel betrayed

If it's wishing to be something you're not - aim a little higher.

When it's written out like that you realise that Brand's not that far removed from Wogan, just with added scatology.

I mean, Wake Up With Wogan is literally two hours of "and no mistake my liege."

Okay don't even go there comparing Wogan to Brand

Oh no. Brand's way funnier.

OK, he's no Fred Macaulay, I'll give you that...

JBrand today: "The Beeb..beeceee... in it's infinite wisdom...shalom..."

XPOST YEAH! LET'S GO comparing Wogan to Brand

Ross Abbot was in the Sarah Jane Adventures on Monday! In 20 years, Brand will be doing the same!

Wogan - septuagenarian disc jockey and unpleasant little right wing creep on the quiet who's traded off the same limited range of sub-Flann O'Brien whimsicalities for the best part of forty years.