What's the most illegal thing you've ever done

I got pulled for speeding once (34mph in 30 zone) but the traffic cop let me off. Shocking huh

I only got busted for misdemeanor pot and alchohol possession stuff, but when I was into drugs (a long, long, time ago) I helped friends transport some pretty serious weights of pot, acid, and opium that probably would have landed me with a distribution charge. Scary to think about.

The crimes I feel worst about doing were as a middle schooler though. My friends and I would sneak out a lot. At first it started out we'd just skate or ride bikes and play with fireworks and stuff. But within a certain subset of that group, it evolved into vandalizing shit - spray painting, setting trash cans on fire, breaking peoples garden ornaments etc. No reason, just for destruction. I felt bad about it, but I didn't want my friends to think I wasn't cool. Eventually, these guys started stealing car stereos and I went along with them for two of those nights and acted as a lookout. I never broke into anyone's car and I never profited from the sales, but that shit's still on my conscience.

Obviously that's a bit off topic, but whatever.

# What's the most illegal thing you've ever done [Started by Bogart Puff 'n Stuff (Cattle Grind) in April 2010, last updated 10 minutes ago by kingkongvsgodzilla] 23 new answers

# pooping right before showering [Started by I request "Fireflies" (dyao) in March 2010, last updated 2 weeks ago by Convenience Fish (snoball)] POLL results

if pooping before showering is illegal then I don't ever want to be law-abiding

I WAS busted, however, for stealing an Aerosmith tape from Kmart when I was 13.

― Johnny Fever, Saturday, 24 April 2010 07:13 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Also busted, at 13, for thievery. My mate Pete made away with a bunch of games and some records (incl. The Coup's Steal This Album, which bought much juvenile lols) but I got caught taking cds out of their tagged cases and pocketing them :(

Oh and then I spent a decade breaking copyright law on the internet to get free music without the hassle of security guards ringing my drunk mother.

i never got caught doing anything except speeding. have shoplifted a bunch of times but those days are over, i promise. also w33d, underage drinking, trespassing. that's about it. boring.

oh also eating/drinking on public transit which you can get a ticket for! but they'd never ticket little old me

I lifted a sharpie once cause they came in boxes of 12 and I only needed one. have never really felt the need to shoplift though despite realizing just how easy it is

let's see, I also....

Frequently shoplifted pens from the campus bookstore at the first college I went to. I have no idea why I did this. I was also on strange pills at the time.

Stole a men's bathroom sign from Disney that I still have

it's really exhilarating, shoplifting

took a porsche up to about 80 mph+ once, was in my friend's jetta when he took it up to 110+. busted for speeding once, and I wasn't even trying! the speed limit sign was obstructed.

have had nearly uniformly bad reactions to all drugs I've ever tried so I just stick with the alcohol.

lol harbl are you a hoarder

no not at all, i mean like i can see how people get to be addicted to it

despite my introvertedness I was very influential on my friends in high school. I used to start 'stealing contests' when we were on field trips that mandated hotel stays in high school. It'd be one room vs. another, and the caveat was you had to steal shit that nobody in their right mind would ever take. (ie, ash trays from the lobby, traffic cones, etc).

when I was clearing old belongings out of my parents' old house after they moved, I found a lot of this crap...

i also have one memory that to this date I can't remember if it really happened, but I swear I remember in 2004, after being heavily drunk on Tanqueray and tonic, relieving myself on a hallway carpet at the hotel I was in. I was so drunk that to this day I don't know if it really happened. I had to be helped up the stairs later that night.

hah that reminds me I urinated in a college library once. into the fireplace.

despite my introvertedness I was very influential on my friends in high school. I used to start 'stealing contests' when we were on field trips that mandated hotel stays in high school. It'd be one room vs. another, and the caveat was you had to steal shit that nobody in their right mind would ever take. (ie, ash trays from the lobby, traffic cones, etc).

when I was clearing old belongings out of my parents' old house after they moved, I found a lot of this crap...

― Bogart Puff 'n Stuff (Cattle Grind), Saturday, 24 April 2010 15:27 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol our uni halls and the ridiculous amount of shit we ended up w/

probably illegal downloading. :/

& cussing at a music conference

zounds

A friend and I got arrested and spent two days in jail for having a really small amount of w33d. This happened right as the Beastie Boys started playing at Lollapalooza in 1994, how we got singled out of the massive crowd of people is still a mystery to me.

I never really did anything all that illegal because I was afraid of getting busted and my parents were kind of hardasses. I had a bunch of friends who were really into stupid shit - stealing hood ornaments and license plates, breaking into cars, stealing fire extinguishers, and so on but I always kind of excused myself when this stuff started to happen. One of these dudes ended up torching an abandoned car (which he got away with) and then breaking thirty grand worth of windows at our old high school, which earned him 30 days in jail. He's a lawyer now.

when i was a teenager someone called the cops on a friend & i for putting bottle rockets in mailboxes -- i guess other stuff i did as a kid like egging houses & cars probably fits in there too -- also we once went into the screened in patio of our friends' grandmother's house at night & stole alcohol

My brother has been such a criminal all his life that I've kind of walked the straight and narrow to spare my mother anymore heartache. Which is too bad, because I'd really kind of like to find a local w33d supply, but oh well. I'm sure I'll become one of those decrepit ancient dopers after my parents pass on and smoke gets legalized.

I got arrested when I was 17 for illegal entry. I was walking around in July & saw an elementary school with a window open. Remembering that the toilets used to be smaller for the littler kids, I went in through the window to test my memory. When I left the school out the window again, I got asked by an old man if I'd just been in the school. This is the stupid part: the stupid part is I answered honestly. I got arrested, and went through the world's easiest "diversions program." The old man in charge of rehabilitating me wasn't very impressed by my crime, as my punishment was to write a book report, draw him a picture, and "no slumber parties for two weeks."

No way am I talking about illegal things I've done as an adult.

wait, the only reason you entered the school was to see if the toilets were smaller?

Yes...I can't think of any other reason to enter an elementary school I didn't attend. The only reason I got off so easy is I didn't touch/steal/fuck up anything.

hmm. the worst school related thing I did was go into the catwalk and smash things with a 2x4. I had a very angsty senior year. and for my band's only performance ever at a showcase of the bands, we warmed up by destroying folding chairs and other things up there.

Johnny Fever I will not judge you harshly.....depending on which Aerosmith album it was.

It was Done With Mirrors. I am not proud.

Geezus that should be 2-5 years minimum

minor dabbling in drug dealing prob

nothin wild, shoplifting, w33d, broke into a couple holiday homes 1 summer for "parteez" (smoking loads of hash)

most illegal thing i've ever done was live with a bf who was growing about 30 pot plants in a 'hidden' room in our apartment - we didn't have a car and one time we were bringing home something like 10 bags of potting mix and the cabdriver was all 'so you live in this apartment building and you have a garden??'.

i pretty much lived in fear of being caught every single day and i don't/didn't even hardly smoke w33d (my drug-taking days were actually already over by the time i met this guy).

never saw a dime of fucking profit, either, despite all the hours i spent cutting buds off.

that is kindof hilarious

electoral fraud - voted twice at last General Election

For the same guy?

no

one vote was sincere, one was entirely for the lulz, both in different locations

great job

oh and criminal damage but they didn't press charges because my character was vouched for - goddamn do I need to control my temper sometimes

both of the above^^ within about 3 months of each other - 2005 was a fucking illegal year -_-

xp it wasn't funny at the time! it was horrendous! ohhhh AND there was the time i was making the bed and found a fucking GUN under the mattress! he claimed it wasn't real and only used it for 'protection' but i picked it up and it felt pretty fuckin real.

so yeah: manufacture and supply of class b (?) drugs; unlicensed possession of a firearm were two charges i managed to avoid.

It may still have your prints on it!!!!!

i beat two people up past the age of 18, when its not considered cute anymore. one case was pretty much self-defence, one wasnt. neither resulted in legal action.

Drove a car into and wrecked a fence on a mini roundabout, I guess that could be criminal damage. Wasn't even my own car, but I made good the damage on that. Wasn't drunk btw, but it was 1am and my passengers were and I was going far too fast to brake in time, so ploughed through the middle.

xp !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xp to wmc

The NZ police will say, "She's gone to America, so she can be with her first love: guns."

ha

"Between the dates of February 1977 and November 1980, in the counties of West and South Yorkshire, I attacked and killed some 13 women"

Nobody fucked with me in the holding cell, because I was bespectacled, nerdy, tiny, and visibly not at all nervous, because I knew I didn't do anything. I should have been a lot more nervous, in retrospect.

The 50-ish dude I spent the night in the cell with was terrified, and kept commenting on how cool I was acting. "You seem like you've done this before." "No, first time." Poor bastard had a blood-soaked bandage on his ear, way up high on it, where his ex wife had taken a bite out of it, Tyson-style. Apparently there was a domestic disturbance call, and they arrested the guy covered in blood and let the biter go. Granted, I only heard his side of the story.

Anyway, the main thing I took away from this was that if the cops ask you a question, don't fucking answer it.

It involved the Poll Tax.

1) Attended 'that' Poll Tax protest - Not Arrested.
2) Did not pay the poll tax *until* the day it was announced that it was to be abolished - £50 fine.

For some time after, all official forms that had the section "Prior Convictions" would specifically exclude Parking Violations and PollTax files.

POTP.

Tuomas, that's awesome.

but my friend wasn't cause he ate his second tab rather than let the cops find it.

:-O

Anyway, the main thing I took away from this was that if the cops ask you a question, don't fucking answer it.

― Jack Human (kenan), Monday, April 26, 2010 2:53 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes, police get incriminating evidence before they arrest you, then they read you your rights

God, Tuomas reminded me that I camped out in my college library one night, with a few other people. Somehow we had found a boiler room that no one ever locked, so we packed bags with pillows and some food and cards, and hid in the utility room until it sounded like the janitors, etc, had gone. We didn't turn on any lights cos the whole place was windowed, ended up sleeping really uncomfortably on little reading couches and etc. Fun, though.

Anyway, the main thing I took away from this was that if the cops ask you a question, don't fucking answer it.

― Jack Human (kenan), Monday, April 26, 2010 2:53 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

amen

i asked rahni what jail was like, i don't care about any of you other losers

Don't be harbl.

does public sex count?

If you get caught by the police I'm sure they'd arrest you, so I'd say it does count.

I was once in a room where white people were smoking weed while listening to a Bob Marley compilation album. That kind of self conscious early 90's proto hipsterism should have been illegal.

I hate to bear this news but this didn't die in the 90s

Arrested and charged with a felony after fighting with a cop and injuring him on the street in the aftermath of a bar brawl. Spent a little time in the cooler, but ultimately plead down to a misdemeanor. This was 15 years ago, and it still pops up on background checks. Ive had some serious explaining to do to potential employers.

broke into three or four different schools as a teen. don't know why.
sex with a minor, i'm guessing most people have done this though? (16 yo gf when i was 17)
couple of acts of accidental/careless vandalism while drunk (broken windows, falling through fences, etc)
drunk driven home from a nightclub once with 15 people in the car- #1 fucking stupid thing i've ever done. iirc killed a sheep.
drunken fistfights.

i don't drink as much as i used to, tbh.

Oh god, I totally forgot that I had a 17-year-old girlfriend when I was 21. I wonder how illegal that was?

depends on what state you were in

.....horny?

Now that I think about it, I have driven drunk on two occasions; I don't know if that's more illegal than shipping fireworks to CA, but it's less defensible.

Nothing much--just some soft drug use and oral sex on men and women (illegal in Florida at the time).

^^^^ new ILTMI board descrip????

Do it.

ripping the tag off a mattress

Took 10 ecstasy pills to Spain

...and now oral sex and medical marijuana are both legal here. So now I'm stumped. Fudging my time sheets at work, maybe?

christine!!

Good to have you back Christine!

I had a phase where making rent was tough so I stole quite a lot of groceries. And also a bottle of jack once. Never ever caught, white privilege.

:-)