SHUT UP ALREADY: Ultimate 2008 US Presidential Election Thread For Whiners

Good morning!

As soon as I teach my 9:30 class, I'm gonna vote. According to local media, 4.1 million Floridians have voted already, so I'm hoping the line ain't too bad in the middle of the morning (my precinct has just under 2,000 registered voters).

The last time a candidate was able to claim victory on Election Night was in 1996. At the very least, Shrubya never got to look wistfully to the open skies as balloons fell upon him. Lil' fucker.

"We can't guarantee that your candidate of preference will win on Nov. 4," said Chef Ron Rupocinski of Krispy Kreme, which will give out star-shaped doughnuts to customers at select locations. "But we can guarantee that your right to voice your choice will be rewarded with a patriotic doughnut that will remind you just how tasty freedom really is."

crap, you all should lock this thread so my valuable posts are not lost to the void.

Everybody go here now:
2008 USGE RESULTS THREAD PS GOP U LOST DIXVILLE NOTCH LOL