Dave Chappelle - "Killin' 'Em Softly"

No, it was a jet ski! With Dave's girlfriend!

Funniest not-really-a-line from the Chappelle Show: his imitation of Pac-Man.

Yeah, It's the R
40 ounces of malt liquor make me wanna tell you somethin'...

See i roll around sittin' on dubs,
cat 'n now I was high on shrubs.
Coolin' in my escalade...
Man, I'm paid, I got it made
Take me to your special place
Close your eyes,
show me your face...
I'm gonna piss on it.

Hatas wanna hate,
Lovas wanna love,
I don't even want
None of the above.
I want to piss on you.
Yes I do,
I'll piss on you
I'll pee on you.

Set your body,
your body,
as a porto-potty
and a pee I'd kick.
like it most erotic.

I'ma pee on you..
drip drip drip
pee on you,
all on you.
iss on you, iss on you.

You would never feel quite the same
when you get a whiff of my Hershey's™ stains
I wanna poop on you, too.
I want to pee on yo food.

Only thing that make my life complete,
is when I turn yo face into a toilet seat.
I want to pee on you,
Yes I do, yes I do
I'll pee on you, I'll piss on you

Hatas wanna hate,
Lovas wanna love,
I don't even want
none of the above.
I want to piss on you.
Yes I do
I'll piss on you,
I'll pee on you.

Won't you braid my hair?
So, won't you braid my hair?
Before you start,
I'm gonna fart.
I'm 'onna fart on you.

Normally, i don't do this...
but, i'ma hit you all off with a lil' taste of the remix... y'all ready? here we go...

I pick you up from the club,
take you home to make some love.
Gotta surprise, close your eye
I'm gonna cover you with suds

I'ma give you some poo poo
I'ma give you some pee pee
I'ma give you some doo doo
And wash it down, some wee wee

This is the remix edition
of a song about pissin'
I got the pee and we can re-can
and leave juice in the kitchen

Yeah, that's how it goes in the R.Kelly party
I sip Crys... you drink piss...
(I wanna piss on you remix... you heard?)
Now, I'm serious...
I really do wanna piss on you.

Favorite Chappelle Show Moment Not Yet Mentioned: DC taking sick little Billy to school in PlayStation basketball. "KAKAKAKAKAKA! IN YOUR FACE BILLY!!!!! IN YOUR FACE!!!!" "NURSE! COME QUICK! BILLY'S GETTING HIS ASS KICKED!"

"OF COURSE I HAVE PLAYSTATION. I'M RICH!"

Tyrone Biggums is the grebtest! "Is this the 7 o'clock free crack giveaway?"

"konichiwa, bitches!"

"Hey, there's a boat with a buncha white people on it. I'm gonna go see what they want."

i think you answered your own unasked question, tho.

I missed the show tonight. Anybody know when they're replaying it?

"MMMmmmm MMMMMMM, Bitch!"

now, if you were talking about the only PROMO they ever showed, then yes...

negrodamus: he has a receipt.

This is official: Paul Mooney as Negrodamus is the greatest thing Comedy Central has ever aired.

I love weed, LOVE IT! But not as much as I love pussy! The End.

chad: you're kicking me out. trey, you stabbed my dad and slept with my girlfriend!
trey: chad, i didn't f**k katie. LYSOL f**ked katie. i just filmed it.
katie: no, trey, you f**cked me too.
trey: correction, i f**cked katie too.
dave chappelle: hey chad...i f**cked katie too.

dave chappelle (in "interview"): katie had some big ass titties.

That closer though.

He’s shit on lgbt people, but he spends a good portion of the set saying that his pronouncements are not the point, he is just some asshole celeb on stage and the movement is speaking for itself (sorry for inelegant paraphrase) so why keep in a line that will inevitably divert attention to a referendum on the character of Dave Chappelle? It was a good cut to make. Totally understand & support anyone who doesn’t want to give him attention due to hurtful things he’s said in the past obv

He’s shit on lgbt people

Yes.

My lukewarm take is that it's enough that he's one of the best speakers on racism in the United States. I don't need him in this or any other moment to be cogent or particularly inspiring on any other topic.

"Is Chappelle just incapable of going 30 minutes onstage without proclaiming that he doesn’t get what makes queer folks tick,"

The misogyny is hard to overlook, too. Still glad I watched this, though.

Totally understand & support anyone who doesn’t want to give him attention due to hurtful things he’s said in the past obv

Yep, definitely.

My lukewarm take is that it's enough that he's one of the best speakers on racism in the United States. I don't need him in this or any other moment to be cogent or particularly inspiring on any other topic.

yeah that seems fair and accurate

(Which is to say I agree with cutting the line. It'd distract from the point.)

Yeah totally agree with the lukewarm take. My instinctive take was that fixating on this one cut line was a little too close to “he was no angel” type arguments but I’m not sure that’s exactly fair. It extremely doesn’t matter what I think of course

Why isn’t this Netflix special on Netflix

it's a good question. maybe they're worried it'll scare off some subscribers?

I have no love for netflix, but I assumed it was because putting it on YT means it's free and available to non-subscribers (as other streaming services have done with some content). That said, why not do both? is a valid question

I'm guessing they're filming a one-hour special from these Ohio shows, and it doesn't hurt them at all to have this outside the paywall. Chappelle introduces this as less finished than what he usually puts out, whereas a finished special will be the more polished hour.

Part of the astonishing thing about this last week was seeing high production values of an event during quarantine, when we've gotten so used to musician/comedian Zooms from home. (Though last week's Austin fundraiser and John Prine tribute both had similar quality from the Ryman, Antone's, etc., even when the musicians were playing in an empty room.)

there was just one camera iirc? cameras have gotten so good that one halfway competent wedding fotog could have filmed it imo

there were crowd shots cut in too, so I assume at least one other camera?

yeah there were definitely a few cameras

I'm guessing they're filming a one-hour special from these Ohio shows, and it doesn't hurt them at all to have this outside the paywall.

idk this feels like a one-off thing to me, will all this stuff be topical 3 months down the line? plus it's a half-hour set that's gotten a zillion views already so idk if you can just repackage it again

will all this stuff be topical 3 months down the line?

.....yes?

The Player Hater Awards sketch is a classic.
― earlnash, Tuesday, January 20, 2004 4:29 AM (sixteen years ago)

Wish there was more of this. Just love when he says "the most diabolical haters this side of the Mississippi".

I hadn't watched that in years, and it was so sad to see Charlie Murphy and Patrice O'Neal there in the same scene. RIP, they were hilarious.

The voice Chappelle does is just so brilliant, I could listen to audiobooks read by him like that.

I hope the bad things of the world happened to you and only YOUUUUUUUUUU

Yeah, that's my other favorite bit.

Can't get that voice out of my head when I'm reading and I can't decide how I feel about that.

iwill all this stuff be topical 3 months down the line?

Yes.

Chappelle's show headed to Netflix as of.....well...today!

nice

watched a few eps of Chappelle's Show this weekend which was a bizarre experience since I've seen them all a dozen times but not since like, 2005. still funny but man I forgot how many very specific references there were to 2002-2004 pop culture stuff, like idk how I'd even explain some of this to a younger generation. the "lost season" where a couple of the bit guys wound up hosting the show while Chappelle was MIA was such a bizarre moment. I wonder how Dave felt about that.

Imagine a show now that would have expected its audience to have watched the modern equivalent of "Making the Band"

I wonder how Dave felt about that.

He wasn't happy about it. At the time, he called the airing of the "lost" episodes a "bully move."

there's a long bit on "Unforgiven" about what happened with the show and how he got screwed over and it's riveting listening but it's also pretty difficult to see this guy as a victim. like when he does these jokes about how we shouldn't stream Chappelle's Show because he doesn't get paid or "you will never get your money back" about when he bombed in Detroit are we supposed to forget that he's insanely rich & has been one of the most successful and well-known comedians on the planet for over two decades, despite literally disappearing for something like 12 years?

Was it really 12 years?

I was calculating the length of time between Chappelle's Show and the Netflix specials, I forgot he did that tour with Flight of the Conchords in 2013. I guess his real public comeback was SNL in 2016, where he said "I'll give Donald Trump a chance"? (which I know he says he regrets, still a monumentally stupid thing to say)

When was his Block Party thing, 2007?

2005, during Chapelle's Show

its kind of weird to think about that now, given how much of his persona today is just not giving a shit about anyone or anything

random question, anybody know why there's one ep of Chappelle's Show that's not available? like even though it's streaming, there's one episode missing - the only sketch I remember from it was "what if the Internet was a store?" or something like that.

it'll never come back now that Ron Jeremy is in it, but it's been gone since before that indictment.

Clayton NIMBY