Bud Extra -- more revolting than turkey soda??

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RED BULL + VODKA = ASS
SPARKS = OLDE ENGLISH + TANG
COCAINE = SLIGHTLY ASPRINY AFTERTASTE IN BACK OF THROAT
BUDWEISER = AGED DEAD PENGUINS

DOES THIS HELP

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

The fruit juice sounds absolutely disgusting, but adding caffeine to beer is an aweome idea!

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:36 (nineteen years ago) link

But next to the liquor store is a strip club with an adult boutique downstairs!

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:37 (nineteen years ago) link

how come people keep putting goddamn "energy" in beer but no one has put "booze" in bubble tea yet.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Everyone knows that meth goes in bubble tea.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Just take some of those premade Jello shots and melon-ball em into a Snapple.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Listen people, seriously, Sparks, Bud Extra, they still give you BEER GUT. Regular beer + "energy drugs" = TEH SVELTNESS OF TEH STOMACH

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm getting an ulcer just thinking about all these combos.

― Je4nne ƒury, Bud drinker (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:45 (nineteen years ago) link

They should put glue in beer so you can huff and drink at the same time.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:47 (nineteen years ago) link

That's not what Guinness is?? :(

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:48 (nineteen years ago) link

DAMMIT I now want to huff Guinness. MAGIC FOAM IN MY SINUSES

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:50 (nineteen years ago) link

One day, a deranged genius will somehow manage to cram coke, caffeine, THC, mescalin, meth, MDMA, vodka, whiskey, nitrous oxide, mixed fruit juices, lime, coconut milk, the ejaculate of a fully sexually aroused Innuit woman, etc. all into a special magical mystery beer that tastes better than the areola-sweat of a thousand woodland nymphs, and on that day, God will declareth that we shall get toreth the fucketh up. Until that day though, we'll just have to deal with these failed attempts at uberdrink. For the only dividing line between madness and genius is FAILURE/SUCCESS.

Now, does anybody know if Budweiser makes a mescalojito yet?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:51 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't know for sure but I am reasonably certain that felching a cat would taste better than the sweaty nipple-hairs of nymphs.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:53 (nineteen years ago) link

THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA, NICKALICIOUS

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:53 (nineteen years ago) link

"This drink is missing something... I've got it! I MUST ADD FEMALE INUIT EJACULATE!"

...

"Oh wait, I meant guava juice! ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:55 (nineteen years ago) link

I think it's best if we kept sexual fluids, energy drugs, and pineapple juice out of drinks.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm watching Showgirls right now, and I'm pretty sure Nomi just had a mescalojito.

(Shouldn't it be a mescalojitotini, though? I don't think it's legal to sell drinks that don't end in -tini.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 19:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I guess this means the goat jizz margarita is a no-go.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Polynesian Pap Smear

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:10 (nineteen years ago) link

I think goat jizz sounds more functional in a colada.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:10 (nineteen years ago) link

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Your use of the word "functional" here bothers me, because goat jizz's function has now made me hate coconuts.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Mind if I C in your tea?

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Fuck you people. Fuck you people so hard that your fucking eyeballs pop out and your hands fall off and I never have to hear something about goat jizz coladas ever, ever again.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:15 (nineteen years ago) link

The next time my wife orders a pina colada, I will gag, and she will ask me why, and I will tell her about this thread, and she will say "FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND WHY DO YOU KEEP READING THAT HORRIFYING BOARD????" and I will get no sex and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Anyone want a White Russian?

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:20 (nineteen years ago) link

FUCK YOU AND YOUR HORSE

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Some cottage cheese?

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:21 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG I'm sorry. It didn't really gross me out that much.

Okay, here's some beers and nicknames for them I/my peeps use:

budweiser - liverspotter, assjuice
miller high life - kiss of death
coors light - shards of broken glass
guiness - the black crunch, ESSENCE OF GELFLING (must be said in Skeksi voice)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Okay, Tep did gross me out a little with cottage cheese.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:23 (nineteen years ago) link

http://kesavinchi.typepad.com/photos/tokyo/cimg0302.JPG

― TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME, TEP (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:24 (nineteen years ago) link

THIS IS NOW GETTING PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO THAT WEIRD THOUGHTS YOU HAD ABOUT SEX WHEN LITTLE THREAD AND TRACER HAND'S TAPIOCA CUM POST PEOPLE STOP IT NOW BEFORE I BUST OUT SOME FISH PHOTOS

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:26 (nineteen years ago) link

See, that's what I'm talking about, that looks like egg in there. THAT's some functional shit.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:26 (nineteen years ago) link

There is so much barely latent homosexual flirting on this thread it's frightening.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:27 (nineteen years ago) link

The caption somehow makes the picture more horrifying.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:27 (nineteen years ago) link

There's nothing gay about a little goat-fucking-a-coconut action, Bataille would've given it big ups.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:29 (nineteen years ago) link

BUT THIS THREAD IS BASICALLY DUDES TRYING TO CONVINCE EACH OTHER TO DRINK SPERM!

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:29 (nineteen years ago) link

But not each OTHER'S!

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:30 (nineteen years ago) link

So, like, does anybody else get weird CHEST PAINS when they drink Budweiser? Weird pains they don't get drinking ANY OTHER BEER WHATSOEVER? Cuz I do, and I find it intriguing, in a not-related-at-all-to-thoughts-of-mammalian-ejaculate-in-beverages kinda way.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:34 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.sobebev.com/product_info/images/bottle_lizard_liz.jpg
mmmmmmmmm

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I think I rather eat a Golden Girl rather than drink that brew Dan posted.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Bea Arthur's ladycum tastes like jasmine blossoms.

― pretending I'm logged out (nickalicious), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Which one?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Stop having more than one ladycum, Bea Arthur.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't know what that meant.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:48 (nineteen years ago) link

ow ow my sides

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Bea can't help that she's a shemale, Tep. Might as well double yer pleasure.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 20:53 (nineteen years ago) link

It's like those side-by-side two-flavor shakes Steak and Shake has! Only BIOHAZARDELICIOUS.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:14 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.yoitsren.com/newyearsstew.jpg

― TITS.JPG (ex machina), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Please note that relatives of Bea Arthur may well be reading this. At least one of them posts regularly to ILX.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:26 (nineteen years ago) link

That's even more classic.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Great, now the goat jizz colada shake soggy biscuit talk is all weird.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 1 December 2004 21:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Mmmm, I love Lizard Fuel stuff too, Jocelyn, though I favour the pink bubblegum teeth-on-edge one. With milk in it.

― Jesus Christ, Paraplegic (Mark C), Thursday, 2 December 2004 12:42 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.oopsweb.com/2002/hikaku/09/SOBE-Lizord-Fuel.jpg

This one.

― Jesus Christ, Paraplegic (Mark C), Thursday, 2 December 2004 12:43 (nineteen years ago) link

rue mcclanahans bean juice

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 2 December 2004 12:49 (nineteen years ago) link

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