post your made-up tom waits lyric

He's got his shreveport motorcade hangin off his nose
and his alabaster cummerbund's higher than a crow
hes throwin strikes in a bowling alley bathroom stall
man troll gas beany jim-jam

Hmm, the early Sean Connery filmography can be fashioned in to Waits lyrics
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000125/

Dixon's on the green dock, a sailor of fortune
changed his name to Achmed for a blood money portion
was a Titanic deckhand on the night to remember
There's no road back for the ladies of the manor

Hire an opera singer for the armchair theater
The man who would be king doesn't want to meet her
The boy with the meat axe is standing above
The woman of straw and a woman in love.

well the seagulls are angels and the wind's a minuet
and i been chased out of des moines by bent cops and bad debts
and the sunset's a hurdy-gurdy just crankin out regrets
i told ya rosie, i'd do all i can

and the car won't turn over even with a skeleton key
you know it hasn't seen service since robert e. lee
saginaw or san diego , baby it's all the same to me
man troll
gas beany
jim-jam.

"When morning breaks, I'll fiddle the bean."

that's a really sad line

"Broken Leg Monsoon" would be a hell of a name for a tribute band.

Oft overlooked is the influence that Jim Morrison had over a young Tom Waits.

Well, I just got into town about an hour ago
Took a look around, see which way the man troll
Gas beany jim-jam Hollywood bungalow

Six miles out of Shreveport
I gave my necktie to the aftershave midget
Your Windsor knot isn't gonna save you now, son

Heart-o-gold hooker kickin' an old tin can
Dying

Smoke between your turkey legs
The guests were getting all the eggs
How do you tell a shrimp from a sherbet?
Six-tenths of a bullet and the horse Giselle
Swirling out his wishing well
If the Irish were more Scottish, this place wouldn't smell

Giddy-up corndog
Rattlesnake and carbo-load
Sidewalking seadog
Cut you in the harbour soak
Two-faced mackerel monkey
Can o'worms for leggy junkie
Two-miles stone your quarter
Circus master hobble-daughter
A side of beef dirty thief
Gone off tin of ham
Man troll gas beany jim-jam

this could easily go to the ilx dreams thread as well but i had a dream where i was singing made-up waits songs deep into the night and everyone yelled at me for keeping them up. i said they kept me up all night too, with their mandolin playing, but they said that was different because their music was good and waits was a hack that anyone could easily copy so to prove them wrong i challenged them to a waits-off. i won, because it was my dream, with a frank's wild years spoken-word style groove:

old beans mcginty lived in a shoe box
underneath the 5th street bridge
he'd been a night porter on the
chesterfield line, back in the days
when a man could get his bow tie shined for a nickel
the wind those days was a terrible machine
that blew dust and bad news up your nose
when it wasn't bringing the rain

not saying that's actually good, but in the dream it slayed.

Convincing!

Sailin my ship made a Okies
It's a dust bowl will never touch down
Cause my Beany jim-jam next ta Pokey's
Already soaked up the last round.

Cling clang steamboat
Willy-silly Billy Goat
Stinkin like a sailor
On a broken whiskey railroad
Hat boom circus-dircus freak bone man
Man troll gas beany jim-jam

Saginaw Pete is alone at last
It happened too late but it happened too fast
Angelita's shacked up with some jailbird cholo
Man troll gas beany honkin' on bobo

The railyard's dark and the boxcar's cold
His blood's running hot but his bones is old
His heart's hard and dull like an old lost coin
He was honkin' on bobo all the way to Des Moines