Dane Cook

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THIS SHIT SUCKS (vicious circle on hbo right now)

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:13 (seventeen years ago) link

He's been pretend crying for the past 10 minutes. Needs bongos.

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:16 (seventeen years ago) link

the audience just gave him a huge round of applause because he proclaimed that he is catholic. he's doing this whole athiests are stupid routine. wow i didnt think i could hate him anymore.

chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Dane Cook reminds me of a New School Evangelist. I totally thought he was going to bust into some "BUT THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT OUR LORD JESUS WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS" when I watched his DVD.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), December 15th, 2005.

This is totally the vibe I am getting. He just said something like "I hope the atheist comes back as a tree after he dies and then they make paper out of him and print the bible on it." Uhhhhh...
Also, "When I say gesundheit, I feel like I am honoring Hitler." WTF?

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:30 (seventeen years ago) link

hitler youths of comedy tour

cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:47 (seventeen years ago) link

In short, "Tourgasm" may be the least worthwhile series ever to air on HBO -- "Arli$$" included.

How soon we have all forgetten Dream On, Autopsy 1-11 and Real Sex 1-30. Sophisticated shit, that.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:55 (seventeen years ago) link

> he is catholic

> He just said something like "I hope the atheist comes back as a tree after he dies and then they make paper out of him and print the bible on it."

He is one confused Catholic!

100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:56 (seventeen years ago) link

i will not hear a word against real sex. we've already been over this.

PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:58 (seventeen years ago) link

TV critics of the world, don't let the existence of Deadwood or whatever blind ya to the fact that HBO has always had reptilian brain-stem programming.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:58 (seventeen years ago) link

could people stop acting like deadwood is good

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:02 (seventeen years ago) link

perhaps a calculated move on the part of some wily publicist.
wily publicist.
wily publicist?
wily publicist!

I can't be the only person who finds this phrase fucking fantastic.

Hoosteen (Hoosteen), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:02 (seventeen years ago) link

> could people stop acting like deadwood is good

Not until our critical faculties are stolen, eaten, digested, crapped and flushed.

100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Dr. Wily Publicist

http://www.evilscience.net/institutions/halloffame/eyebrows.gif

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Man, this just gets worse and worse:

"I don't call them movies, I call the cinematic adventures."
"I talk so much at the movies, the black people behind me are like, 'shhhhh!'"
"This is the drink holder, or if the movie's bad, you can blow me."

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:12 (seventeen years ago) link

(I've never seen more than a minute or two of any episode of any series or special HBO's put out in the 21st century, except Unscripted and that was only because my bf made me watch it. And I've got HBO, too, but the whole critical and audience response to these shows has been such an annoyance and turn-off that there's too many rivers for me to cross before I could take these shows "seriously.")

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:14 (seventeen years ago) link

"I talk so much at the movies, the black people behind me are like, 'shhhhh!'"

haha i bet louis ck wrote this one too.

chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Everything he says is a less funny version of something I've heard before.

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:16 (seventeen years ago) link

> the whole critical and audience response to these shows has been such an annoyance and turn-off that there's too many rivers for me to cross before I could take these shows "seriously."

I could never live like this.

100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Well you're a lucky boy, then, 'cause I ain't asking you to.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:21 (seventeen years ago) link

nobody owns funny, bro, funny belongs to the people! if dane cook can bring funny to the people, brah, dane cook should do that.

Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:23 (seventeen years ago) link

BTW, can someone direct me to the Real Sex thread mentioned above?

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Sorry, let me rephrase - don't you worry that you're going to miss something you'd really like if you keep carrying other people's baggage like that? "Don't believe the hype" always sounded like good advice to me.

100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:26 (seventeen years ago) link

daddino what's yr prob with autopsy???

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:26 (seventeen years ago) link

btw heres that la times review:

Dane Cook, pain-free comedian

Ever wonder what would happen if comedy lost its angst? Just take a look at its new smiley face.

By Paul Brownfield, Times Staff Writer


COMEDIANS aren't supposed to be happy, just the opposite, but Dane Cook is the Disneyland of comics: He's the happiest, most uncomplicated place on Earth.

He's Seacrest-psyched, boy voted most likely. Cutest. Funniest. Coolest. For Cook, this is no ironic pose à la Andy Kaufman; it's a whole insufferable ethos, integral to the rise of his career. He's become huge by asserting that the comic mind does not come from alienation and restlessness but from adoration and social connection — the comic as your instant-messaging best pal.

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To watch his HBO special "Vicious Circle," which airs Monday night, is to be both disappointed in Cook for foisting his surface act on people with such energetic impunity and in audiences for drinking the stuff in as if it were vanguard.

You could also, for variety's sake, be disappointed in HBO for giving the wrong comedian the right kind of platform — a 90-minute concert act recorded recently at the FleetCenter arena in Cook's native Boston, apparently in front of some 18,000 people.

To the question, "What happened to stand-up?" Cook might very well be the depressing answer: It put product in its hair, dumbed itself down and became as eager to please as a trainee at a TGI Friday's. And still it got itself a series, "Tourgasm," which ended its run on HBO last month.

"Tourgasm" was a conspicuously slight and infomercial-like ad to boost Cook's rabid popularity among college-age fans; the rest was filler, Cook and his three comedian underlings in various states of homoerotic, roughhousing repose.

Now HBO, as part of a multiplatform deal, presents Cook in a stand-up special. These were once upon a time the province of active minds and voices (Robert Klein, George Carlin, Roseanne, Chris Rock). But having long watched the brand slacken, HBO has now lent it to the boy most likely to help them succeed wooing younger subscribers.

It makes sense, business sense, anyway: Cook might very well be the next Rob Schneider, or Tom Green, or Ashton Kutcher, or some three-headed beast incorporating some of each. ("Employee of the Month," a comedy in which he costars with rumored girlfriend Jessica Simpson, opens next month. Others are on the assembly line.)

*

An online connection, the payoff

COOK, then, is a comic-on-the-verge, but with the twist of the new — he's huge among the kids who download his bits off iTunes and onto their cell-phones.

It was on the Internet that Cook, who'd been kicking around in clubs and TV series for years, launched himself anew, advertising his cute-boy looks and general availability for human-to-comedian contact.

Single White Comic Seeks Fan Base for Meaningful Relationship. Reportedly on a $25,000 gamble, Cook launched his own website, and his dogged use of the popular networking site MySpace (where he supposedly has over 1 million "friends") is seen as a model for building one's career, with the Improv chain signing up with MySpace this summer to offer their acts as chat friends.

"Treat the Web like your house," Cook advised comics in Wired magazine of the importance of Internet politicking. "When people knock, answer."

And yet there's something perverse about this. Comics, the best of them, are uniquely antisocial beings offstage, unreachable and idiosyncratic, the audience a kind of natural enemy to be won over with raw need and biting truth. Even multimillionaire Jerry Seinfeld refused to cash in on his popularity post-"Seinfeld," instead forcing himself as an artist to win over audiences through the crafting of a new act, as chronicled in his documentary "Comedian."

But Seinfeld is of the generation raised on Lenny Bruce and Klein. Cook, it seems, is looking to take the audience to lunch.

"There's so many things that I want to let you guys into my world about," is the ungrammatical sentence with which Cook greets his fans at the FleetCenter.

They're screaming like he's Justin Timberlake, and maybe he is. For what is demoralizing is the swagger in the face of such vanilla material, the total absence — like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch — of self-loathing.

In Cook's act there is no war, no class divide, no crime, no fear, no news, no world. There is only solicitation, the "so many things that I want to let you guys into my world about."

"I'll say this, man," goes one set-up, "the thing I love, even more than the movie itself, I love — we all love — the previews.

"And I'll tell you why." Pause. "Because it doesn't matter what anybody here does for a living, whatever your occupation is, the reason you love the previews, it's because it's the one time, in all our lives, that we get to be a critic. Because you know as soon as that preview ends you're gonna turn to the person next to you, and you're gonna review that film."

At this point I experienced several strange feelings — déjà vu that I was back at the Improv and it was actually 1987 mixed with a sense that I'd misplaced the punch line. Fortunately, Cook proceeded to illustrate the joke he'd just taken too many words to say.

He loves this, the gestures. He pantomimes, in fact, nearly everything that comes out of his mouth. Two fingers down the side of the cheek for crying, wiggling the fingers for typing an e-mail, scribbling motion for writing down directions.

It's a way not to have to bother with language. Cook is disinterested in words and sometimes sloppy with references (he doesn't mean Danny Gans in one joke, he probably means Lance Burton; he doesn't mean baseball umpire in another, he means catcher).

*

A positive spin

"THERE'S a stigma with comics that they are all so dark and ball-busty and negative," Cook said in July, during the summer TV press tour promoting "Tourgasm" and "Vicious Circle."

"And sure. There's that element," he said. "I don't roll with that. I never hung out with that, you know, and that was even what 'Tourgasm' was about, was putting out a more positive, productive take on what a — what a comic is."

Comedy has traditionally sprung up as a reaction against oppression, internal and external — from the pogrom to the contemporary neurosis. Cook's view flies in the face of what we know, generally, about every significant stand-up voice from Milton Berle on forward. Onstage, Cook exudes the need for attention that all comics have but none of the pain behind the need.

To be sure, feelings of outsider-ness do not guarantee you'll be funny. Drug addiction contributed to performances by Bruce in which he was a paranoid rambler; Kaufman delighted in leaving his audiences out in the cold and openly hostile. But it's the vulnerability that contributed to their artistry.

It seemed more than a little symbolic, in fact, that Cook was blowing up last year while Mitch Hedberg, a comedian whose following mirrored Cook's (Internet fan base, transcendent rock-star aura), died of a drug overdose in a New Jersey motel. Onstage, Hedberg cut an odd Kurt Cobain-like figure — tall, skinny, beatnik clothes, hair over his eyes. He talked in idiosyncratic, absurdist mumbles ("I tried to walk into a Target, but I missed"; "I don't own a microwave, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks [things]") and was afraid to lock eyes with the audience. He feared the very thing at which Cook excels — tearing down the wall between the audience and himselfbut he loved that which Cook doesn't: the economy, the importance, of words.

Hedberg's memorial was held at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills; half a dozen comics eulogized him, and it was odd, the sight of them reduced to tears, or trying to reduce themselves, insofar as comedians can feel for one another. Nobody deplored the drug habit that had claimed Hedberg's life. It was understood, at least among his peers, that Hedberg's act would not have existed without his demons. It's what you figure about Dave Chappelle, who walked away from a $50-million Comedy Central deal to hide away in South Africa. Or Drake Sather, a comedian and writer ("The Larry Sanders Show," "Zoolander") who on March 3, 2004, shot himself to death in his downtown loft. "On the wall above the head of the bed are multiple notes," the coroner's report reads, in part. "These notes are to the police officers and crime scene photographers and coroner staff. Many of the notes are humorous comments about suicide and the end of life."

*

Committed to keeping in touch

"YOU know, Dane … we put the first episode of 'Tourgasm' up on iTunes, and it became the No. 1 podcast — the No. 1 downloaded podcast almost instantly," HBO Chairman Chris Albrecht told the press in July. "So his audience is an important audience, I think, to the future of HBO, which is, who are the subscribers coming into the category, who are the young people that might want to subscribe. And for them, having Dane is very important."

Not long ago, I signed up to get e-mail alerts for Cook's "Dane-casts" — the news about his life and career that Cook uploads onto his website.

"Everybody's saying, 'Dane, what's going on, "Tourgasm" is coming to a close,' " Cook said on July 23, from a hotel room in Vancouver, Canada, where he was shooting a movie.

"You gotta watch tonight," he said, "I go back and visit my high school, where I graduated from. And it's pretty — and it's pretty touching. Very unexpected things happened when I went back to Arlington High School."

He then responded to some e-mail, some of which had to do with the death of his mother July 3 from cancer.

"The support from everybody has just been really incredible," he said. "It's new. It's a new thing for me to be dealing with, but I'm really OK."

As he went through more e-mails, a song by Weezer came on his iPod. "IPod shuffle's being good to me today," he said. "A couple more of these and then I gotta split, I gotta vamoose, gotta study my lines for tomorrow."

This is, for now, the Cook legacy: He signals the end of the comedian as we knew him — reclusive, angry, socially awkward, anguished, self-defeating.

Negative.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
paul.brownfield@latimes.com

Brownfield is a Times TV critic.

chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:27 (seventeen years ago) link

He just got a huge ovation for a Mortal Kombat reference.

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Sorry, let me rephrase - don't you worry that you're going to miss something you'd really like if you keep carrying other people's baggage like that? "Don't believe the hype" always sounded like good advice to me.

Since the overwhelming majority of the television consumption in my entire life, from Age 3 to Age 35, has been purely passive -- just some comforting noise to have on while I work on the computer, file baseball cards, floss teeth, have sex -- no, I don't go thru life cultivating neurotic tics over guilt for not catching The Comeback or Big Love.

daddino what's yr prob with autopsy???

Dude, it's got dead bodies in it.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:45 (seventeen years ago) link

so did twin peaks!

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, and I bet the Crimean War did, too. So?

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:51 (seventeen years ago) link

did you hate quincy????

j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:52 (seventeen years ago) link

the crimean war went on a couple seasons too long

gear (gear), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:52 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't even remember any in-yr-face bruises 'n' blood dead bodies in Quincy, but I haven't seen it in two decades so the jury is still out on that one.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:57 (seventeen years ago) link

> I don't go thru life cultivating neurotic tics over guilt for not catching The Comeback or Big Love.

I..wait, what? This doesn't seem to jibe with what you said before. But since I'm not an HBO salesman, I don't really feel like persuing it.

100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 02:01 (seventeen years ago) link

And since I'm not getting how the quoted statement presents us with a contradiction, I won't pursue it, either.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 02:05 (seventeen years ago) link

He's become huge by asserting that the comic mind does not come from alienation and restlessness but from adoration and social connection — the comic as your instant-messaging best pal.

yeah, that about sums it up. and that's why i've fucking hated him since the first time i saw him miming vomiting in a toilet for 30 minutes straight.

GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 02:47 (seventeen years ago) link

"I hope the atheist comes back as a tree after he dies and then they make paper out of him and print the bible on it."

ah but does Cook realise he is proof there is no God*?


*a benevolent god anyway

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 03:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Or Drake Sather, a comedian and writer ("The Larry Sanders Show," "Zoolander") who on March 3, 2004, shot himself to death in his downtown loft. "On the wall above the head of the bed are multiple notes," the coroner's report reads, in part. "These notes are to the police officers and crime scene photographers and coroner staff. Many of the notes are humorous comments about suicide and the end of life."

that's awful:( i remember seeing an ancient HBO comedy special (i think from sometime circa 1989-90) with a bunch of comedians on it and he was pretty funny! plus...he was on the commentary track on Zoolander. that's sad as hell he shot himself...

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 04:02 (seventeen years ago) link

He is one confused Catholic!

Haha, no, I just condensed a rambling story into that one line. What he said was that the atheist belived that after he died would be buried/cremated etc. and become one with the earth, become soil and eventually, a tree. The whole bit started with some guy sneezing on him and why he said "God bless you" instead of "bless you" ("because I am not the Lord") or "Gesundheit" (because anything in German = Hitler, right? You fucking asshole.), and that when he said "God bless you" the guy said "I'm an atheist". Whatever.

PS: Can anyone possibly (if you recorded this, for some reason) make an animated .gif of the part where he gave the Nazi salute while saying Gesundheit? That would be a treat.

Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:02 (seventeen years ago) link

In short, "Tourgasm" may be the least worthwhile series ever to air on HBO -- "Arli$$" included.

oh i like this line.

kingfish praetor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:24 (seventeen years ago) link

speaking of quincy, did the punk rock episode ever make it to youtube?

kingfish praetor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:36 (seventeen years ago) link

He signals the end of the comedian as we knew him — reclusive, angry, socially awkward, anguished, self-defeating.

I don't think that is automatically a bad thing. I may not be a huge fan of Dane Cook but I don't like the author's assumption that you can't be both a normal person and be a great comic. The funny comedian with a dark, dark secret is also a pretty stale clichè in itself.

Cunga (Cunga), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 07:23 (seventeen years ago) link

big love is well acted, well written, sexy and has excellent tone. its also really dull

anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 07:50 (seventeen years ago) link

that whole "comedy is PAIN" line is also pretty wrong anyway -- i mean you have the whole tradition of cornball late 70s comedy, you have blue collar foxworthy type comedy, etc. i mean there's really only a certain alt-comedy canon that sticks to it at all.

if the line had been "the end of the comedian as we knew him -- occasionally funny" then it might have made a bit more of a point.

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 08:08 (seventeen years ago) link

yeh but cornball late 70s comedy and blue collar foxworthy comedy BLOW. GIMME PAIN!

GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link

what was Tim Conway's inner demon again?

Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 16:39 (seventeen years ago) link

haRVEY cORMAN

chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 16:40 (seventeen years ago) link

holy shit I had no idea drake sather killed himself. that's terrible.

kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 16:42 (seventeen years ago) link

ok wow i just saw a bit of this hbo special. i had no idea there were so many ways to refer to genitals that are completely stupid and make no sense at all.

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 02:38 (seventeen years ago) link

"her situation"

Marmot (marmotwolof), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 02:40 (seventeen years ago) link

"Girls look like DJs when they do that! DJ Diddle! LOLOLOLOLOLOL"

Marmot (marmotwolof), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 02:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Caught a few minutes of this guy's act on the weekend and yeah, he's awful. The worst aspects of Sam Kinison and Dennis Miller but at least those guys had decent material. That "Family Guy" parody was pretty OTM ("Is he saying something funny?" "I dunno, but he's moving around a lot.")

a "goaty"-style beard (Myonga Vön Bontee), Thursday, 2 June 2011 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

seven months pass...

Even his appearance on Louie did nothing to rehabilitate him in my eyes.

Seriously, who votes for Drake? (Nicole), Thursday, 19 January 2012 23:25 (twelve years ago) link

I've been thinking about Dead Pool 2013 already and he's looking like a likely candidate.

beachville, Friday, 20 January 2012 17:15 (twelve years ago) link

i honestly believe that he makes his fans feel okay about being misogynist whether he intends to or not

― let free dom ring (J0rdan S.), Friday, June 12, 2009 3:46 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is a hilarious thing for a rap fan to concern troll about

Planned Perrintweet (some dude), Friday, 20 January 2012 17:16 (twelve years ago) link

I'm mistrustful of other comics' first-hand reports on Dane Cook.

do you not like slouching? (Eazy), Saturday, 21 January 2012 06:33 (twelve years ago) link

That "Family Guy" parody was pretty OTM ("Is he saying something funny?" "I dunno, but he's moving around a lot.")

i'm all for ripping on Dane Cook but this is some serious pot/kettle shit right here

this is how its done right here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QVvgMro3D0

frogs you are the dumbest asshole (frogbs), Saturday, 21 January 2012 16:49 (twelve years ago) link

six months pass...

http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm198/betani316/hotdane.jpg

omar little, Saturday, 28 July 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link

"So I heard that the guy came into the theater about 25 minutes into the movie," he said. "And I don't know if you've seen the movie, but the movie is pretty much a piece of s--t. Yeah, spoiler alert."
He continued, "I know that if none of that would have happened, pretty sure that somebody in that theater, about 25 minutes in, realizing it was a piece of s--t, was probably like, ‘Ugh f------ shoot me.'"
The crowd's response was a mix of jeers, laughter and cheers.

omar little, Saturday, 28 July 2012 00:02 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

damn son, canceled before it even aired, that's a new low

http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/2012/10/12/nbc-cancels-mid-season-comedy-next-caller-before-it-airs/152807/

flaming goon pie included (some dude), Monday, 15 October 2012 02:59 (eleven years ago) link

NBC coming to their senses?

Gyrate For Physicet (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 October 2012 16:46 (eleven years ago) link

three years pass...

dane cook

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 27 May 2016 10:46 (seven years ago) link

the tesco value ryan reynolds

benzarro ghazarri (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 May 2016 10:59 (seven years ago) link

chicken sangwich

flappy bird, Friday, 27 May 2016 17:14 (seven years ago) link

cane dook

how's life, Friday, 27 May 2016 17:21 (seven years ago) link

10th anniversary of peak dane

King Nagl (Eazy), Friday, 27 May 2016 17:37 (seven years ago) link

it took me surprisingly long to realize that "Dane Cook Sucks" video above was not actually him. He's that bad.

Poliopolice, Friday, 27 May 2016 17:40 (seven years ago) link

dang was hoping he had died

Οὖτις, Friday, 27 May 2016 17:42 (seven years ago) link

it took me surprisingly long to realize that "Dane Cook Sucks" video above was not actually him. He's that bad.

"When you're in the wrong relationship, with somebody awful, I call that a relationshit." (Huge laugh.)

frogbs, Friday, 27 May 2016 17:57 (seven years ago) link

"In 2010, Cook auditioned for the role of Captain America for Captain America: The First Avenger, although the director, Joe Johnston, did not have him on the short list for the part."

it's sort of a layered stunt (sheesh), Friday, 27 May 2016 19:06 (seven years ago) link

in some alternate universe there's an avengers movie where all the roles are played by losers, burnouts and general d-listers from the late 90s and early 00s: dane cook as cap, freddie prinze jr as iron man, david spade as hawkeye, tara reid as black widow, ed norton as the hulk

benzarro ghazarri (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 May 2016 19:12 (seven years ago) link

What if...?

it's sort of a layered stunt (sheesh), Friday, 27 May 2016 19:13 (seven years ago) link

lol

Οὖτις, Friday, 27 May 2016 19:25 (seven years ago) link

Dane Cook reminds me of a New School Evangelist. I totally thought he was going to bust into some "BUT THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT OUR LORD JESUS WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS" when I watched his DVD.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), December 15th, 2005.

nailed it

rmde bob (will), Friday, 27 May 2016 19:30 (seven years ago) link

six months pass...

chicken sangwich

flappy bird, Friday, 23 December 2016 01:55 (seven years ago) link

thank god this dude's career burned out

kurt schwitterz, Friday, 23 December 2016 04:09 (seven years ago) link

sweet and sour sauce......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................on my pussy

frogbs, Friday, 23 December 2016 04:09 (seven years ago) link

or as I like to call it, "The Wal"

flappy bird, Friday, 23 December 2016 20:27 (seven years ago) link

one year passes...

Dane Cook is a big believer that age ain't nothing but a number

frogbs, Wednesday, 15 August 2018 17:59 (five years ago) link

same as IQ

the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 15 August 2018 18:50 (five years ago) link

two adults in a relationship, big news

k3vin k., Wednesday, 15 August 2018 20:31 (five years ago) link


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