OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

that really is quite incredible.

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

BOO HTML

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

haaaaaa

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

keep in mind this kid was like 8 when Kurdt committed suicide and has probably been bombarded by Nirvana mythologies since he started showing an interest in altrock

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Heh, this is a great idea. Yeah gotta say though, opinion pieces like this are ten a penny in this strange little further education world

there is thou a difference between "analyse and discuss" and "attack and dismiss"

Maybe in the real world, but on ILM?

I'm still not sure when Cobain was adopted as an indie icon, tbh. When I was a teen, Melody Maker was still all "lol miserable junkie loved by them Kerrang oafs" about him.

I disagree that student writing is exempt from criticism. One's worldview may not be fully formed by the age of 20, but a journalistic voice should be.

Plus, this is just too awful to leave it alone. A phrase like "There has been a movement against corporate music, labels and magazines, which is thankfully disappearing, probably ever since Bob Dylan's move from acoustic to electric" is a jaw-dropper in any context.

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

This, totally; what kind of culture are we propagating where these attitudes develop? Why does this guy think this? He's in a band, he's at university, he'd self-identify as 'loving music', he obviously has journalistic ambitions at the same time, and he writes this? Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

young aspiring music journalists should go to ILM training camp

http://duckdown.downloadcentric.com/content/Duck%20Down%20Records/Products/Audio%20Downloads/Boot%20Camp%20Clik/The%20Last%20Stand/DDM%20CD%202035%7B0%7D_large.jpg

more liek:

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0001Y9YAW.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

most of them are, most of them always have, some of them get better as they, you know, grow up - i'm not denying that it's awful writing but i guess the question for me is, do you not feel your life ebbing away from you with every second you spend contemplating this rote and in no way unusual piece of student hackery? do you have this much spare time?? at this point i'mma take my own advice and exit thread stage left.

Our dominant myths about Art are still Romantic ones: the Artwork is a self-sufficient object, expressing universal truths and the personality of the artist, and has to be grounded in sincere, authentic feelings. Those ideas are still so fundamental (amongst people who think about aesthetics) that most critics have to unlearn them or react against them before they can think about other ways of apprehending music/literature/TV comedy. This isn't exactly a mystery, it's been going on for 200 years.

Also, it's a Substack

No, no; our boy has moral objections to Substack. He publishes on Ghost.

I was just gonna say - that stuff reads like Knock-Off Whiney to me. (Whiney's works, imo. ZL's doesn't.)

i like some of the music he digs up, but his tweets are at least half eye-rolls

that's like someone's blog. that doesn't count for me. you can write anything on your own space.

jeez louise no fair bringing whiney into this. he's a real riter.

i couldn't really read much of that thing above though. i think i'm just getting old.

i went looking for some old thing on google last night and i saw the very first rock review i ever wrote (for the VV) and it came out 25 years ago this month!! i felt like graydon carter's dessicated mummy or whatever. where does the time go.....

xpost i know, but Lipez is a real writer, too. i'm not just comparing Whiney to a guy with a blog ... although yes, he wrote this on his blog, or newsletter, or whatever it is.

Yeah, Lipez writes for zombie Creem. Which I haven't read, but I hope he's got someone reining him in a little bit more over there.

The phrase "hipper-than-thou" was coined for this sort of prose voice...

And there are limits to how much fruit a holiday text from one of Ryan Schreiber’s ex coke dealers might bear.

srsly our whiney would never. this is very bad. the guy is bad with prepositions, doesn't know the requirements of metaphor, actually writes "pellucidity."

Men like deBoer tend to be glib about aspects of culture which are fascinating when taken seriously and they tend to be humorless about the absurd.

this is a good line

I think I got two paragraphs in and then had to tap out.

(And, yes, I got the references! But this writing style is insufferable.)

<q>And there are limits to how much fruit a holiday text from one of Ryan Schreiber’s ex coke dealers might bear

srsly our whiney would never. this is very bad. the guy is bad with prepositions, doesn't know the requirements of metaphor, actually writes "pellucidity."<q/>

argh!

was gonna say, dude also seems to think that coke grows on trees....

he calls out coke snorting like a homophobe does gay sex

he's good re deBoer

The 'Ex-Fader as Mossad' dig seems to be directed to Will Welch, the GQ EIC. That's all I got lol

I understand the hate, but I enjoyed the piece, despite his reliance on coke jokes. It was a funny, ranty, know-it-all blog post and in that sense it Made me feel nostalgic lol

I was just like “Dennis Miller has a music blog now?”

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/1JoAAOSwQjFlNDpe/s-l960.jpg

lmao

Before it closed, the Fun Factory arcade in Redondo Beach still had tons of talking Dennis Miller dolls the last time I was there

One of those guys where it's like "what the hell happened to you?" He was really great on SNL and if you watch a lot of old reruns, it's easy to see why he was considered the gold standard for Weekend Update for so long. In some ways, I think he was everything Charles Rocket's Weekend Update shtick hoped to be and failed to be, but even better, and he sort of did it accidentally. There's an early Letterman interview (maybe two seasons into his time at SNL) where amazingly he discusses how he really didn't address real news as standup material until Lorne Michaels hired him specifically to anchor Weekend Update - so from that point on, he really had to do his homework to keep up with politics and world events. I've seen him claim 9/11 changed him (maybe the way it changed Ron Silver) and I've seen Al Franken claim he has NOT changed, that he was always more of a libertarian with as many conservative tendencies as liberal ones. But based on the visual evidence, it's mind-boggling to see him suck up to a nitwit like George W. Bush while savaging Reagan for his intellectual shortcomings.

"The Blinders’ latest album, ‘Beholder’, offers a darkly romantic odyssey that sees the Doncaster-born band, now sporting an expanded new line-up, reaching new heights. Capturing the raw energy of the band’s debut, it takes that spark and sends it soaring into more adventurous and cinematic territories.

With a richer, more layered sound that still retains that punch they made their own, there’s a newfound unpredictability that adds an exhilarating edge. But it’s ‘Nocturnal Skies’ that stands out, a testament to the band’s ability to craft a powerful, emotive song that resonates long after the last note has faded.

This is The Blinders at their most ambitious and confident, a band that has embraced their darkness and turned it into something truly captivating."

https://readdork.com/albums/the-blinders-beholder/

No shade meant to you, irrational, actually more of a thank you, as I was lost in my Cali election work, thus was unable to do much music reading this past week. Dork was totally right about The Blinders' new alb. Hell yeah!

https://www.vox.com/culture/24099908/justin-timberlake-everything-i-thought-it-was-britney-scandal-forgiveness

why

Now, after years away from the spotlight (and one Instagram apology), Timberlake is releasing a new album titled Everything I Thought It Was. So far, its lead single (“Selfish”) and promotional track (“Drown”) point to a more mellow, R&B-lite direction for the singer — with the exception of the gospel-flavored song “Sanctified,” which previewed on Saturday Night Live. And the album’s artwork, influenced by 1971’s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and Federico Fellini’s masterpiece 8 ½, hints at an emphasis on visuals.

why

His third record saw a softer, more romantic side of Timberlake, with sultry serenades that reflected his personal life, including his marriage to actress Jessica Biel. His newfound maturity was best represented in the album’s blockbuster single “Mirrors,” which — despite its arguably narcissistic lyrics — signified his commitment to monogamy.

Unfortunately for Timberlake, he would experience a significant fall from grace in the following years, both as an artist and as a wife guy.

whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Music writing basically just summaries social media these days

summarizes I mean

Summaries
Make me feel fine
Blowin' thru the Justin in my mind

a wife guy

pretty fly for a wife guy

Summaries
Make me feel fine
Blowin' thru the Justin in my mind