Sex Droughts

Yeah, my aunt (my mom's youngest sister) is only 4 years older than I am.

I guess 3-4 months was the longest I ever went after the initial 17 years but I never had that feeling like, "Man, I need to get laid" because I could probably take care of those purely sexual needs better myself. I always hated the kissing/cuddling droughts more.

i kinda wanted to say exactly this, but yknow i'm a dude so didn't really want to but it's true for me too.

think this is exacerbated by the fact that us/uk are not particularly big touch-oriented cultures

so yeah, that's a big problem during these droughts

like i guess leo buscaglia has been out of fashion for the last few decades, but i think that his idea of taking people very serious as individuals and not being hesitant about very basic things like hugging people should be run with more. nothing is more healing than acceptance, affirming people be it through touch or otherwise

Yeah, my favorite part of relationships is just simple closeness. Watching movies together in bed/on the couch, backscratching, just the smell of a person other than yourself.

Seriously, I would marry someone just to get my back scratched once a day.

My "birth - _____" drought was only 11 years. Granted, it wasn't actual copulation, but I learned about everything else including fellatio and cunnilingus from my 15 year-old aunt. I realize this is probably even TMI for ILTMI, but sometimes it just takes a weight off to get it out there.

Family reunions are still awkward, because I wonder how many other cousins could tell the same story.

― Johnny Fever, Monday, 20 September 2010 23:48 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

i had a slighty older female cousin who used to ask me to strip off in front of her and her mates. never actually did it. think she was just doing it for the lulz, tho. at least, i'd like to think so. her weird mate used to feel my arse as well.

28 YEARS OLD I WAS

johnny fever all kinds of otm

i was watching sleepaway camp 2: unhappy campers the other evening, and thinking about how the proprietor of the camp is named "Uncle John", and that "avuncular" has sort of become synonymous with creepy at this point

'ad uncle

Max, you were 28 when this was going on? My situation was a taboo adolescent curiosity thing, but your cousin is straight up kinky.

"28" thing is a stewart lee routine.

i was about 10, she was 14. i think she was just genuinely curious about boy's bodies, but we were very affectionate... so i'm not 100%. i still see her quite often and i don't think it even crosses our minds much anymore. obviously your experience was way more serious.

feel like my attitude pairs pretty closely with johnny's

I can go pay to get off, but it wouldn't fix what sucks about this.

― p.m.s.b. (pre-mall smoke bomb) (zorn_bond.mp3), Tuesday, September 21, 2010 6:05 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

lol otm, I just discovered how easy it would be to do over here but ~what would be the point~

what would be the point ~~~~~~~~~~~~

anyway this thread just reminds me of the estela thread (or rather the thread title) young men with so much love to give or w/e, can't find it atm

but i was an idiot and ridiculously picky and also tried to avoid one-night stand situations for some stupid reason

Feel like I have seen many an earnest young person (my self included for a short time) v. negatively affected by the myth that one-night stands must necessarily be seedy and devoid of genuine affection.

yes. i mean i had first date sex with at least one of my ex-'s that i ended up being in long-term relationships with

and for several months i was in a relationship with someone which was mostly about us getting together for sex...but i can't say there was anything sordid about it. it was actually very sweet.

so yeah, i think your use of the word "myth" is apt here

myth that one-night stands must necessarily be seedy and devoid of genuine affection.

indeed. some of my one-night stands were some of the most relaxed and honest sex i've ever had.

One of my favorite girlfriends kind of started out that way. I spent the night on our first date, which was a completely new and foreign idea to me. She said before we went to bed "I don't fuck on the first date," to which I was like WHAT!? (because I didn't even know I was being invited to sleep over at that point). Weirder still, she broke her own rule and we fucked for an hour in the middle of the night after having slept for a little bit.

that sounds awesome

I mentioned her in another thread somewhere on this board. A few weeks later, I found out she did a little professional dominatrix work on the side. HUGE SURPRISE! Ahhh...summer of 2006, how I miss thee.

omg

i don't whip on the first date

you'll do what you're told on the first date maggot

My birth--first fuck drought was 22 years. The first 9 years were a cinch, though. :-) No playing doctor with the other kids (relatives or not), I was an amazingly prudish little girl. First sexual contact with somebody other than myself (which started at 7) was at 14 with an acquaintance. My one and only sexual contact with a relative was with one who was the best friend I've ever had, and it ruined our relationship. (We were in our late teens when it happened.) The most time I've gone without sex as a non-virgin was a year, which was the amount of time between my deflowering and when I started going out with the man I later married. (Yes, we did fuck on the first date.) We have gone a month or two without sex on occasion, mostly due to depression.

xp No, it wasn't like that at all you guys. That's why I surprised to find out she was a dom for money. Especially when she invited me along on an appointment (her client was cool with it). She became a totally different person!

dominactrix

also stop spoiling my fever dreams, it was totally like that

The modern term is domme, actually.

lol

She called herself a dominatrix, so who was I to argue semantics?

domme pass- no i'm not going there

Anyway, I hadn't had sex for two years before I met her and I didn't have sex again for a year and a half after we broke up. Par for the course, really.

Oh shit, I forgot someone. It had only been a year of no sex before I met her. I feel like an ass for completely forgetting someone, because there have only been six women in total (not counting my aunt, which I don't because A she's my aunt and B we never had sex sex).

i have also never had sex sex with any of my aunts hi 5!

Hooray!

celibatenephews.com

I really haven't ever told a lot of people about that, btw. ILTMI is really only one of very few "people" who know about it. My family doesn't know, that's for sure.

i have a snake

tell us more pls

cut or uncut?

Venomous?

thank you very much!

i didn't even know that ~sleeping over~ without sex was a thing people did until recently

it's still something so foreign to me that i'm pretty sure i missed an offer to do so the other night

:/

i must have 'slept over' without sex for jeez i dunno 6 weeks for the lovely ms dmac. no big deal, movies and couches still existed.

You may as well find out from the get go whether or not you can share a bed with somebody. But yeah, it was a surprising early development for sure.

for the first three weeks i even got kicked off the couch, actually

Although, my very first serious girlfriend got locked out of her house after our first date and I snuck her into my dorm to stay the night...where she proceeded to take MY bed and throw up on the floor (where I ended up sleeping all night). I should've taken that as an omen of the next five years to come.

haha

I agree that nobody owes sex to anyone else but am I wrong in thinking that refusing to have sex with your partner for an extended period of time while also expecting them to stay in a monogamous relationship with you is abusive in its own way? Like if something happened to me where my libido was just zero for a year-plus I feel like I'd have to at least give my wife the option of opening things up.

I mean, or not, if you know you're the sort of person who couldn't handle that and the relationship wouldn't recover.

yes emil.y hope that was clear but no harm at all spelling it out

Depends on the relationship, depends on the people in the relationship, depends on the reason for lack of sex, depends on the communication and boundaries of the people within the relationship. I can see situations where it could be used as a form of abusive control, I can see plenty of situations where it's not even close.

Also, while 7 years is a very long time, a single year? If you were physically unable to have sex with your wife for one year you'd be fine with her having sex with other people? I mean, that mostly sounds like you'd be fine with having an open relationship in general, which is cool, but a lot of people aren't really up for open relationships.

that's all an xp to frogs

darragh - I figured you didn't mean it the other way but it definitely could have read like that!

Maybe just delete the whole revive, lol

ok yeah I suppose it all depends a lot on the exact situation. idk if I'm a guy who's fine with an open relationship as much as I'm the guy who just says he'd be totally cool with it :)

If you were physically unable to have sex with your wife for one year you'd be fine with her having sex with other people? I mean, that mostly sounds like you'd be fine with having an open relationship in genera

uh, a year is a long time to go without, assuming you are cohabiting ... though, it definitely feels like in this thread there is a broad variety of what constitutes "a long time" ... so I think we are back to the "it depends on the people" metric

the 1 year itch idk seems pretty fuckin hasty to me anyway

Sex drought, isn't it nice, ih wait no never mind

― a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Tuesday, September 21, 2010 5:39 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol - sex dwarf was the song it called to my mind

― sarahel, Tuesday, September 21, 2010