Sex Droughts

Obv. this is something I agonize over on occasion, but never do anything about. :/

i spend a lot of time pursuing, problem is, there are a million other boring dickheads pursuing the same girls.

Reverend, are you worrying about not having sex, or are you worrying because you think you should want it more than you do?

A little from each column.

Are you worrying because you think not being interested in having romantic relationships and/or having a low sex drive isn't normal, or is it something you genuinely want to change? How are you with other types of relationships?

I'm at 7 weeks, I guess (kinda hazy on when exactly when the last breakup happened). Probably going to stretch on for a while - I'm going out and have met a number of cuet ladeez, but I just don't really feel like dating anyone yet. This shit was easier the last time I was totally single - at 28, it seems like so many more women are in long-term relationships than when I was 22 or 25, etc..

^ I'm at the age now where most of my options are divorcees.

I'd have to deal with someone else's children, which I wouldn't be too happy with.

(Even worse, I might have to deal with being someone's grandmother. Thinking of that upsets me.)

My last sex drought was ages and ages ago but it was about half licking my own wounds not feeling up to it and half being too tentative when my interest slowly rekindled. Naturally, when I had kind of given up, the drought ended. I feel like it must have been about 4 or 5 months.

3 years atm

6 years - self imposed as I want to sort out my shit first before looking for another relationship.

that's a long time - i think the longest i've gone was a year, maybe a year and a half?

27 years.

Beat that, he said, as I have for the last sixteen years, ha ha masturbation joek it is to laff

how many masturbation in front of a baby jokes do i have to make until people stop counting the years when they were kids in their total?

Don't think six years of no sex would be conducive to either shit sorting or a very healthy worldview, not to mention view of relationships.

Are you worrying because you think not being interested in having romantic relationships and/or having a low sex drive isn't normal, or is it something you genuinely want to change? How are you with other types of relationships?

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Tuesday, September 21, 2010 1:29 PM Bookmark

I don't think I have a low sex drive per se. I don't feel like I have less desire to orgasm than anyone else, just less desire to involve anyone else in the pursuit. I probably get off about once a day on average, though naturally that can vary a bit. I do however feel as though I'm wasting my sexual prime.

As far as other relationships go, I have great friends and family and I'd like to think I'm very warm to those I love. It's not as if I hold everyone at arm's distance. I will admit though, that I barely talk to anyone unless they are someone I know or are introduced to me. Not one much for striking up conversation with strangers, even attractive strangers, but I'm not sure that makes me anything other than a Northwesterner. I do realize this is somewhat self-limiting as far as romantic opportunities go.

jesus christ people, let me post

xxp YMMV but I've found it works for me.

(sorry, just hate when i have to go through 5 xpost screens)

Oh, I trust you better to run your affairs than me, snoball, I was just sayin'

I do however feel as though I'm wasting my sexual prime.

I'm 36 and don't feel like it's, er, dropping off in the slightest, despite what people say about "man's sexual peak age 17 blah blah".

jesus christ people = the new zombies

i think it is common when you get older to have longer droughts - maybe partly because you have a clearer idea of all the shit you have to sort out

I often feel as if I never want to worry about relationships unless I have my shit sorted out but I have never had my shit sorted out so

Also I am hearing the thread title to the tune of Tom Jones' "Sex Bomb." and will be for the rest of the day, I'm sure.

I-IIIIII wanna defi-i-ine
the logic of all sex droughts

Sex drought, isn't it nice, ih wait no never mind

lol - sex dwarf was the song it called to my mind

^^^

Sex drought, isn't it nowt, luring disco dollies to a life of gout...

6 years - self imposed as I want to sort out my shit first before looking for another relationship.

imo/ime this is a nice idea in theory, but if we all waited till we had our shit sorted out before getting involved w/someone 99% of ppl would never end up in a relationship.

when you meet the right person, you notice that they actuallly ~help~ you sort your shit out. obv this all depends on what kind of shit we are actually talking about. but generally a relationship is about sorting all kinds of shit out together.

my point: it makes me sad to think ppl want a relationship but don't think they're worthy of one bc they're not perfect in some way yet.

^^^^

and also yknow you dont have to have yr shit completely together just to get laid. and i'm catholic ffs

99% of ppl would never end up in a relationship.

sounds ok to me

A world of single people just dating each other for a half a year at a time and doing a lot of fucking would be great!

as bad as the lack as sex is the feeling that you're rubbish, ugly, boring, a wimp, no social skills, clueless, etc... you know, like nerdy guys who go to bars in a striped shirt from NEXT and look like they're going to shit their pants/come everytime a semi-attractive woman walks past.

especially hate it when you're talking to some normal human man and he's all like "what, you haven't had sex for SIX MONTHS? i'd fucking kill myself mate." and you know some caveman part of his brain wants to kick you out of the tribe for having shitty genes.

just my 2 cents, there.

Part of my not wanting to date (while, at the same time, totally wanting to date) is that I've got so much stuff going on, I need to actually do some of the shit I've been putting off so I have more time where I'm not worried about getting something done.

ie I can go do fun stuff with girlz like visit art museums on weeknights, rather than needing to do laundry so I have clean clothes for work/class

Reverend: If you had been going for ten years without a relationship, I'd be worrying about you, but there's nothing wrong with you and nothing wrong with the way you're going about things. You've got friends and family, and I'll bet that your next romance will come from the former. It's also alright not to be a casual sex person, many people aren't.

I'm 36 and don't feel like it's, er, dropping off in the slightest, despite what people say about "man's sexual peak age 17 blah blah".

I'm 42, and mine's increasing. :-)
Sex hormone levels in men are at their peak at 17, but that has very little to do with actual sex.

feel similar to Rev - I don't really go out of my way to pursue relationships, partly because my mind always defaults to the long-term (i.e. I tend to make gross over-generalizations about ~what our future will be like~ when I meet someone I'm interested in) and partly because when I fall for someone, I fall pretty hard. like the can't-sleep acid-stomach mind-revolves around-them mentality. it's not really healthy and I prefer having mental equilibrium instead.

Haha, I'm not that much of a hopeless romantic, although I used to be.

Reverend: If you had been going for ten years without a relationship, I'd be worrying about you, but there's nothing wrong with you and nothing wrong with the way you're going about things. You've got friends and family, and I'll bet that your next romance will come from the former. It's also alright not to be a casual sex person, many people aren't.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Tuesday, September 21, 2010 6:03 PM Bookmark

I've never really been in a real relationship tho. :/

when you meet the right person, you notice that they actuallly ~help~ you sort your shit out. obv this all depends on what kind of shit we are actually talking about. but generally a relationship is about sorting all kinds of shit out together.

I do have to say, I've never really thought about it this way and I find it quite heartening!

On more of a downer note, I've long had a suspicion that I tend to come off as aloof and unattainable to potential romantic interests. Never really been sure what to do about this.

I've never really been in a real relationship tho. :/

What do you think of as a real relationship?

you know, it's perfectly ok to be single, for however long you want. i think it's just assumed that everyone wants to be in a relationship, but if that's not your thing then... that's ok too. i don't think there's anything wrong with it, no matter how long you've gone without being in one.

One lasting more than a couple months of dating.

On a side note, I just invited a girl over for dinner this friday, to which she obliged. I'm not completely hopeless.

hit it, rev! hit it for all of us!!!

(srs tho <3)