Your (Non-ILX) Dreams

What The Hell at brains.

I know right!? Its like mine was just flipping through random "things i know" and smooshing them all together.

Most dreams are fascinating to the dreamer and boring to any audience: T/F?

yes i just posted about this somewhere else recently tbh!

if the audience is me, T

i enjoy hearing or reading about dreams, with the same constraints as apply to any other sort of storytelling. has to be an interesting story, and it has to be told reasonably well. i mean, a lot of kafka stories and lynch films resemble transcribed dreams, and i love those.

In a dream the other morning an old woman was berating me because I took a Post-It note off her coffin. It was made of Post-It notes.

^ a reasonable objection, imo

i had a fantastic dream last night that may have involved a nocturnal emission. I was getting busy with this hot redhead and tossing her salad and it tasted like cookies, then i proceeded to break into an impromptu version of Teslas "Love Song" for an audience of 500 at the mall, which had the entire crowd singing along. Afterwards I went back to the soundbooth to get a recording of it and they told me it wasn't on the tape and i didn't own the rights to it. I proceeded to got to "Weintraub" the lawyer and he told me I couldn't purchase the tape, then the redhead appeared again and turned into a giant chocolate chip cookie and shot me with her cookie guitar. i think i probably busted a nut when i was tossing her cookie salad, but it could have happened when i was playing tesla.

^^^ trifecta of lol, o_O and TMI

A++ instant all-time classic post imho. "i think i probably busted a nut when i was tossing her cookie salad" is the first truly great line of prose of the 2010s. please can somebody make that the new board description and elevate it to meme status thru endless out-of-context repetition?

also, dibs

that leaves out the best part, though

Yeah! but it could have happened when i was playing tesla really makes that sentence imo.

tru

it was a fantastic dream of epic proportions.

read that as "could have happened when i was playing tetris" which actually elevated for me but ymmv

dreamt that i was playing ice hockey against the highwaymen. waylon jennings was at the point on their power play and had this amazing slapshot that bounced off the ice multiple times like skipping a stone on water. it was nearly impossible to stop.

had this amazing dream last night about one of the interns here. fuckfest 5000.

Today in real life she just came up here and was talking to me, i had to sit down cuz i was getting a fatty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0pM5dm--yQ

cant see it roxy.

move your beer gut

it is billy joel's "tell her about it"

haha. yeah that would go over like a lead balloon (erection).

I had a very vivid dream last night that I was rehearsing a duet with Bob Dylan. We were sitting at a piano together, and the song had this bittersweet chorus that went something like "Life gets in the way/of the dreams of yesterday," -- it was sort of New Morning style, and we were sitting at a piano together, and Bob and I were supposed to be harmonizing but I couldn't get him to sing anything close to the right note. When I woke up I could sing the song and I had a harmony part in mind, but I lost it later in the day.

a few nights ago i dreamt i was having a very detailed conversation with someone about the cleveland barons

in my dream last night i collaborated on an album with the xx, cosi fanni tutti, and madonna. they had all done an ep together and let me add in my own ideas later in the process -- so it became closer to a full-length once i was done. my bf heard it and decided it my parts were amateurish and entry-level, and he laughed at the phony english accent* i was reading poetry with. when i woke up, i told my bf about it; he thought the dream-life version of himself was a dick.

*this was a collaboration with MADONNA, mind

the dream-life version of himself was a dick

this has happened to me too, alas

Wow. More pies in my dreams please.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, October 6, 2004 9:50 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

lol

cosi fanni tutti

COSEY. sheesh, i *am* entry-level.

well, shit, i just started a new DEATH DREAM thread without seeing this new revive.

PROTOCOL BREACH, sorry gang

i read that as "protocol beach" and was all "pitch idea for a baywatch reboot?"

going to repost from john tesh thread because i think it's worth it:

I'm not sure where else to put this, so I will put it here.

I had a super weird dream last night that I was related by marriage to John Tesh, and he had suffered a brutal rape (which I did not see) on an airplane and the whole world was after the guy who did it. It was like this huge international media thing, and John Tesh was sort of enjoying the publicity, but lamenting the fact that he had to be brutally raped in order to have this sort of attention. He was like "what about my music? What about 7th Heaven? Was that worth nothing to these people? I had to be attacked by that animal in order to be recognized?"

That's all I remember. He knew who had done it, and he knew that once that guy was found, he (John Tesh) wouldn't get as much attention, so he just told me. It was a guy named Gary Pflower.

― Ralpharina (La Lechera), Saturday, March 26, 2011 12:45 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so did john tesh spell that name out to you

― goole, Saturday, March 26, 2011 1:39 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes. yes he did.

― Ralpharina (La Lechera), Saturday, March 26, 2011 1:45 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

u so crazy <3 <3 <3

how else would i have known how to spell Pflower?! it's not intuitive.

i have met a woman who claimed her name was Pcarolyn -- "but the P is silent"

i am v. serious

hahahahaha omg
that is funnier than any dream
even funnier because every person i know named (p)carolyn is kinda nuts (in a good way, but nuts)

http://i51.tinypic.com/23vhsg4.jpg
?

posting these here for posterity:

last night i had a dream that the san francisco giants in full uniform minus tim lincecum and joined by my BF were trying to light my feet on fire

November 28, 2010 at 1:10am · Like

i was thinking if tim just showed up he would put a stop to it

November 28, 2010 at 1:11am · Like

andy said every time he flicked his lighter to take another hit of weed i would jerk my feet around in my sleep

November 28, 2010 at 1:11am · Like · 1 person

last night i again dreamed of tim lincecum, he had been fired from the giants and was in an early american literature class with me in full giants uniform

6 hours ago · Like · 1 person

I had a dream that I was hanging out with a moustachioed Barack Obama and Bo found a pile in the snow that turned out to be the hacked up corpse of one of my coworkers (minus the head and arms) wrapped in a blanket. Additionally, there was a secret tunnel that had been dug into the earth next to the corpse. At the entrance to the tunnel was a hank of my hair, one of my teeth, and two little cardboard jewelry boxes which had some geographical coordinates written on them in my handwriting. I hadn't killed my coworker, but I realized inside the little boxes was evidence that would implicate me. I was freaking out about how I would hide the boxes without the president knowing.

My dreams for the past month, when I remember them, have been incredible gory and violent. I am blaming my recent viewing of "I Saw The Devil." I always forget how sensitive my mind is to gory movies like that. It happened for a few months after I saw the Texas Chainsaw remake, too.

I was talking to my mom in a really vivid dream and she wasn't paying attention, I got annoyed and then I noticed she was wearing earbuds. she finally looked at me and did her girlish giggle. "I'm listening to an NPR podcast!" this was so sweet cause if she was still alive - she passed 19 years ago - that's EXACTLY what she would be listening to.

My dad died 15 years ago and I dream about him all the time, except in every dream he's already sick and getting sicker, just crossing that line where you know the time is short. It's really awful. Had a very vivid one a few days ago.

ah that is awful - hard enough to go through it all IRL.

on a lighter note last night I dreamed that I appeared in an episode of Hawaii 5-0 (the original). as one of the detectives. At one point I cracked a joke and made stone-faced Jack Lord crack a smile. Then I thought 'was that in the script? Is he going to wonder who the hell I am and what I'm doing in his show?' Watching too many old DVDs, I guess.

i had a dream the other night that i was in my kitchen with my housemate, and she was bemoaning our lack of milk, and i said, "what? we have milk!" and i went to the fridge and pulled out a carton that said '5% Milk' on it, and proudly announced, "See? We have 5% milk, your favorite!"

for some reason, the idea of 5% milk is one that sends me into giggles.

I had a dream last night that John Tesh was at the top of a mesa, and someone was beating the shit out of him. The person harming Mr. Tesh said, "I'm gonna break every bone in your body except for in your hands and skull, so you can still write songs that remind the world who I am." And then he pushed Mr. Tesh off the edge of the mesa and he rolled down into some creosote bushes. Then it panned up –– and it was Gary Pflower, smoking a cigarette! I had a sequel to someone else's dream.

Gary Pflower strikes again! That guy is a menace.
What if John Tesh sees these dreams, writes some songs about his nemesis Gary Pflower, and they're really good.
What will we do then? Will this be the ultimate f u to Gary? Will Gary strike back in a final attempt to ruin everything that ever mattered to John Tesh, including his hands?

Last night, I dreamt that James Mason was a voice on The Simpsons. He was playing some smooth fellow trying to seduce Grandpa Simpson, who was a lady for some reason. Simultaneously, The Simpsons was a malevolent purple and green toad that was trying to attack me, ala the evil toads in Master Blaster.

Put this on the insomnia thread but it's really so weird that I think it needs to go here too.

Was on an enormous plane flying to Australia but have no idea why. The plane was like a cruise ship in terms of size, layout and facilities but very sort of dated looking and 70s in design. We spent a while just marveling at the cool weirdness of everything until the flight attendants came around with machines filled with Twizzler flavored juice and then showed me to the shower room so that I could shower. On the way we passed living room like set ups where puppies were playing. After the shower (in a communal style shower room with a whirlpool floor) it was time for take-off. A couple minutes after we were airborne the engines cut and we started sliding backwards and eventually wound up plunging into a body of water and started sinking. Suddenly the plane turned into a ship or something because it had outdoor top decks and I raced crying and frantic Titanic style to reach one. I finally made it to the top deck and found my friends I was traveling with. We were very close to shore but it was the dead of winter and the water was frozen so we couldn't just jump. We were all trying to figure out what to do next as the ship/plane was sinking rapidly when I noticed this guy I knew as a kid (but haven't seen or thought of in like 15+ years) walking by. "Justin!" I called out to him but he didn't hear me. I tried again and again but to no avail. The weird thing was he was looking directly at us and it was then that I realized we were on an invisible vessel (duh!). A ghostshipplane! After some discussion we decided we had to jump because there was no other option. We did so one by one and swam to the shore. It was then that we first spotted some people who seemed friendly enough until they started tying us up. We bolted and were chased while they screamed and shot at us. Somehow we realized these people had orchestrated the whole disaster and were living as some bizarre rebel society in floating tents with lots of rabbits.

WHAT THE HELL?

What a terrible dream. Do you dream lucidly, like do you ever pull out a gun and start shooting all the bad guys?

I haven't had any bad dreams in a while. They're just kind of weird and boring and usually have people from Facebook in them.

It is funny, I just found my old diaries from college, my dad had them stashed in a file cabinet. I had better dreams then but I could do without the college melodrama. I guess I don't miss having interesting dreams.

My dog dreams a lot, I guess. He was whimpering and crying and growling in his sleep one time. I woke him up and when he came to his senses he looked embarrassed like, "oh it was a dream".

What a coincidence my other dog is currently whining and making weird vocalizations in his sleep.