Sex Droughts

http://edge-img.datpiff.com/mab8f1ef/Lil_Wayne_The_Drought_Is_Over_4-front-large.jpg

*high five*

thanks, brah

cryin shame that denzel jr here ever had to wait on it imo but whatevs u go man

rev i am so pleased we had the same jpeg idea and i am v pleased u got to use it

christine first things first he is gay

Oops. Sorry. *puts paper bag over face*

Not really gay, so take the paper bag off.

*puts a second paper bag on over the first*

oh you're back, is yr bloke ok

He's probably a little freaked to see her wearing two paper bags on her head.

He's OK, but we may have a possible panic disorder on our hands.

I'm having a little trouble breathing with these bags on my head, so I'm taking them off.

rev i am so pleased we had the same jpeg idea and i am v pleased u got to use it

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 4 October 2010 19:58 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Weezy's shirt kind of sending mixed messages tho :/

I CAME amirite

FROM NOTHING

man it's tough to not wanna rush the sex part since my body is basically screaming for it, but it kinda hurt the last relationship when we did it too soon, so gonna test my willpower here. this is like that horrible Josh Hartnett movie except ain't no way I'm gonna last 40 days :)

err 40 MORE days

The standard advice is to say that waiting will make the first coupling that much better, but in my experience, the first time after a long time is nerve-racking and rushed. But the relationship is much more important than a little release. (However, you two may be ready much earlier than you think.)

http://www.tradebit.com/usr/djmixtapez/pub/9002/The-Drought-Is-Over-2.jpg

Wayne needs to get out of jail ASAP or y'all are gonna run out of jpegs

rip wisks

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ this is some shit

rip bongs

hoos did you get it on w/ juggalette

non

am ashamed

Uh. Haven't even really lurked on ILTMI before but gah, where the hell else am I going to do this.

Been married for 8 years. Mr Veg is 11 years older than me, and right now, we probably haven't had sex for 3 years. I think. Might be less. Not because we hate each other or can't stand the sight of each other...I think....maybe just, because we're not *trying* to anymore? We still kiss and hug and hang out and hold hands and giggle and do stupid stuff...but he stays up way later than I do, I sleep like a log so I don't even wake up when he comes to bed...the times I ask him to come to bed he just doesn't want to.

also, I will say this up front....I have a really hard time asking for sex. The few times I have, the one time he said no rang in my ears forever and I get too embarrassed to say anything. So I'm like the girl at the dance waiting to be asked to dance and everyone thinks I'm just lonely and sad and avoid me bc I'm not syaing that I want to dance, you know?

I sound way more pathetic and sad than I should... and again, feel really weird even saying all of this anywhere...but I just had to let it out.

thats sad. maybe the problem is not that you don't ask him, but that he don't ask you..

Or that we don't ask each other. The longer I leave it the more I know there's probably a really simple reason. I just wish I wasn't such a fraidy cat. I mean, I married the guy, what's the worst thing that could happen, you know? It's stupid.

And he and I are both pretty similar in that we both like our own solitary time...so it's like we've fallen into this routine that's more like we're besties sharing a house than a married couple.

I have a really hard time asking for sex. The few times I have, the one time he said no rang in my ears forever and I get too embarrassed to say anything.

But he assumedly has said yes more than once, right? And he is your husband, and you obviously love each other, so, you shouldn't worry about exclaiming, "Mr. Veg to the boudoir!" But, I know from experience that it can be really uncomfortable being the sexual solicitor when you're not in the habit of doing so - either because you're imagining rejection or you just feel like a dork or whatever. And the long-term relationship thing and the vastly different sleep schedules thing -- been there, oh yes.

It sounds like a stalemate situation with so much time having passed that neither of you wants to ask the other anymore for fear of hearing "no". Do you ever take trips just to get away from your day to day environment? I mean, you don't even have to leave the area. Just go find a nice hotel and stay for the weekend. Don't put sex on the table...just frame it as a weekend to get away and indulge yourselves individually and together.

just my 2 cebts.

if it's something you miss, then it's something you should probably talk about. it needn't be an 'ask for sex' thing, but more 'this is something i enjoy and would like to share with u.' vegemites should be able to discuss things.

sorry. it's a tough situation.

And the long-term relationship thing and the vastly different sleep schedules thing -- been there, oh yes.

me too, and yeah sometimes you have to make a conscious effort not to let it *stop things* without either of you really even noticing

It's the routine that needs to be shaken up, and then, hopefully, other things will fall into place.

you both seem to be affraid to talk about it, so either get the courage or talk it together with a third, proffesional person.

lack of communication is the worse.

And he and I are both pretty similar in that we both like our own solitary time...so it's like we've fallen into this routine that's more like we're besties sharing a house than a married couple.

― That is the stench of tyranny (VegemiteGrrrl), Thursday, November 18, 2010 4:23 PM (2 minutes ago)

but that's kinda what a lot of married couples are like!

i'm in a similar situation but i'm on the other side. will need to contribute to this later when i have more time to go into it properly

ok since this is ILTMI - maybe the sex-before-sleep thing just isn't feasible - though it tends to be the most convenient, and long term relationships seem to end up being more about what's convenient as time goes on. Johnny's suggestion of a motel stay is good. But that's kinda a one time thing. When are other occasions/what are other circumstances when getting it on is feasible and desirable?

Sarahel, yeah...I don't really feel like there's a problem in the marriage in general. There's still no-one I'd rather see at the end of the day, and he still can make me laugh til I cry about the silliest things.

I think yeah, I just need to suck it up and be okay just talking about what I want. Without fearing that I'm being 'forward' or 'asking' for something.

And Johnny I think you're right about shaking up the routine.

Oh, as for not-before-bed or the hotel thing...that actually is sort of feasible because we do go to SF occasionally to see concerts or friends or things, and stay in hotels every now and then...I think that's a great suggestion about using that as the golden opportunity.

like - do you guys watch TV/movies together? Cuddle together on the couch? That can easily lead to clothing removal and the boneyard

lol boneyard

Yeah, watching TV and cuddling on the couch is def a thing we do a lot of. It really is lame that I find myself in this position.

well, presumably you know what positions would lead to ... well, you know.

to the boneyard!

ime changing the before-bed routine idea helps a lot with this.

boneyard o u guys

sleep schedules (and by extension friskiness schedules) being out of sync = perfect recipe for sex drought

blame ian for "boneyard"

i mean, you can always just do the old, hand on knee, move up to thigh, move over to genital region ...

diagrams plz

basically - grasp shaft of penis, stroke, nod emphatically and smile

i can't help it, any time i'm watching a movie and my girl pulls that move i slap them, gather my shawl around my shoulders, and storm out of the room. i mean really, what happened to treating a guy like a gentleman

i dunno where 'them' came from in that routine tbh

Diagram noted. Your suggestions are also welcome too darragh, for a gentlemanly gentleman

I have a small suspicion that part of the drought also has to do with Mr Veg's sex drive waning. But, as I'm seeing all too clearly now, the only way to know that for sure is to initiate sex hydration plan and visit the boneyard.