who is Bob Lefsetz?

But I've got to warn you. There are SEA CUCUMBERS!

Oh, you wear reef shoes. But littered on the bottom of the ocean are these...well, CUCUMBERS! But they're alive. And squishy. And they urinate. And it's almost so gross you don't want to go in. You CERTAINLY don't want to step on one.

...

"Dvorak-style amalgam of ex-ATN writers taking the piss" is the FUNNIEST PHRASE I HAVE READ ALL DAY though i don't know why.

He also turns up on the Rhino podcast with hystronic tirades about The State Of Things and endless flashbacks to his life in the 70s when things were So Much Better. In short, he's one of the Ghost World record collectors only with an income.

You know what brings you back, again and again, to Bob Lefsetz? It's the PASSION. Oh, you can try to stay away. You can subscribe to a million other blogs. You can tell yourself that music's changed, or that you've changed, or that you don't understand anymore. But you know what? It's not that you've got older - it's that your generation has lost touch! They've SOLD OUT. And it's the KIDS on the INTERNET with thei iPods and their Blackberries who are reminding you why you got into this WHOLE CRAZY FUCKING BUSINESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's the MUSIC! Oh, you can tell yourself it isn't. BUT IT IS. And if you don't listen, you and every other exec LEECHING off the hindquarters of a MEMORY is going to BITE THE FUCKING DUST!

Heheh.
I unsubscribed offa the Lef'Letter again awhile ago.

Seriously though his blog is my fave industry read and has been for a while now.

omg somebody's gotta imagebomb this dude and his ridiculous opinions

Another thread on him. Also, Chuck mentioned and quoted a recent Lefsetz country music and Sirius radio thing on the Rolling Country thread.

His most recent column begins 'I was at the psychiatrist today...'. Magnificent. We are Lefsetz FANATICS at our house. Oh, you can laugh. But that's because you're HISTORY.

How about that T.I. diatribe...Is he right about touring rock bands having more sustained longevity than rappers or pop acts?

But I'll take T.I. over Rory Gallagher and many of the washed-up blooz-rockers and classic-rock dudes he loves.

Is he right about touring rock bands having more sustained longevity than rappers or pop acts?...YES

...he must have a lot of time on his hands and he reminds me of mixerman

Who's mixerman? I think Lefsetz is a retired music biz attorney.

One of his pet themes is that only individuals whom he says audiences perceive as 'real' will have lasting careers. He says this does not include American Idol performers and most rappers and pop acts.

Nelly Furtado Thursday 6/7/07 The WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden, New York, NY Gross: $316,400 4,992/4,992 (100% Ticket prices: $65.00/$45.00 That was her best gig. In Boston, she did 3,644 out of 6,500 (56.1%). In Sayreville, NJ, she did 1,165 out of 2,050 (56.8%). In Detroit, she did 1,761 out of 2,585 (68.1%). In Grand Prairie, TX, she did 2,375 out of 2,503 (94.9%). In other words, she did SHITTY! And these weren't big halls to begin with, positively small, THEATRES! Her album has sold 1,873,719 copies, it's still number 50 on the chart A YEAR LATER! In other words, record sales don't mean shit. Work with Timbaland all you want. Have a hit on Top Forty radio that fewer people are listening to every day. Most people are not paying attention. They don't think you're REAL! Real acts don't conspire with a multitude of people, the usual suspects, to create their of the moment music. No one's even going to REMEMBER her tracks half a decade from now. No one's even going to PLAY them! (Have you heard Eminem recently?) It's not about music being stolen, that's not the big story in the music business today. It's about the bifurcation in its soul. Touring used to reflect record sales. No longer is this the case. And the real acts, the lasting acts, can all do good live business. The public got the memo, the press has not. As for the major labels? If they want a taste of every piece of the pie they've got to be trustworthy, have the act's best interests at heart. Ain't that a laugh.

so bob thinks the PUBLIC wants REAL, but it's hard to notice that said public has responded to THE REAL BOB himself by leaving ZERO COMMENTS so far on his latest blog post. ZERO COMMENTS on the post before that. ZERO COMMENTS on his LAST FOUR POSTS, in fact. the one before that elicited ONE COMMENT. so maybe everyone's talking about him but NO ONE CARES. most people are not paying attention. in other words, capital-letter posts about THE REAL don't mean shit. on the other hand, matthew fluxblog, champion of the pop, the artificial, the unreal, got 14 COMMENTS on his most recent posts. and 20 COMMENTS on the one before that. and 12 comments for his thoughts on KELLY CLARKSON. take that, bob!

So who's READING these blogs? The Arizona girl you met at UCLA you secretly wanted to fuck? NO! That aging A&R rep with the combover whose ass you wanted to kick cos he thought he was DOWN with the kids? NO-ONE who CARES about MUSIC reads BLOGS! They're too busy LIVING! And what do they want as their soundtrack to life? Music about LOVE - love gained, love lost, love refrigerated briefly prior to baking. LOVE is what keeps us coming back to music. NOT blogs. NOT UCLA postgrad programs. NOT even Arizona girls. And especially not Matthew fucking PERPETUA.

Who's mixerman?

http://www.mixerman.net/diaries_main.php

With just a few changes to the word lists, Lefsetz could pass for a SubGenius spewbot.

ctrl-f HITS not found

Bob always quotes 2 types of e-mail responses he gets (as many folks receive his stuff via e-mail rather than looking at his site)--from retired or current folks in the biz, or from ordinary folks who tell him how much they love 'real' music and then proceed to enthuse about the most bland middlebrow rock. The tone in both types of responses are often pretty amusing.

But I'll take T.I. over Rory Gallagher

Any sane person would. (Which says it all.)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=laBpl0TPaNg

I never heard of this guy until yesterday, but his old timer shtick is kind of entertaining, I read it hearing the voice of Bob "The Kid Stays In The Picture" Evans, and then think of the Martin Landau character from Entourage.

Subscribed a couple of weeks ago after someone mentioned him on the Radiohead thread, I tried, but I just don't get it, unsubscribed again.

Random thoughts that go nowhere, boasting about scoring a tour jacket from a 70's Clapton tour, comments from people who apparently do get what he means, irrelevant grumpy old man stuff, nothing I want to read about several times a day.

Am I missing something or is that it?

His rants against the music biz, while largely predictable at this point, are often entertaining reading. Same goes for his stories of his life and his nostalgia.

omg somebody's gotta imagebomb this dude and his ridiculous opinions

Article on Lefsetz in the Washington Post

The fact that he is "one of the music industry's most influential analysts" speaks volumes. If you pretend you're reading an Onion editorial his pieces are entertaining though.

When I worked at Rhino, I'd hear stories about Bob's refusals to edit his histrionic rants. Consequently, most 'casts were 90 percent wall-bouncing froth over Spirit's Dr. Sardonicus and tear-soaked Aspen weekends in '75 when MUSIC and LOVE were REAL and YOUNG, 10 percent contributions from actual Rhino employees.

He's like Lsetz, the Dean of Music Analysis.

Oh not that guy again. There was also this interesting take on Feist.

ugh.

he reminds me of ben gazzara as jackie treehorn: "we used to have a little thing called production values... FEELINGS..."

That and the Onion editorial comment both made me roffle.

howard_beale.jpg

I kinda like reading his rants as SubGenius devival art but the guy can't be bothered to put the full text of his posts in his RSS feed so screw it.

LOL at his anti-Ticketmaster rant. Welcome to 1994 Bob!

oh man is he ever happy about the new Tom Petty

Mudcrutch vs. Tin Machine

I'm officially starting the trend of calling them The Crutch.

dudes don't harsh The Crutch

dude, The Crutch killed it last nite at the cow palace

Pure seventies. Pure magic.

dude the crutch don't know any other way to rock.

Pure seventies. Pure magic.

this was totally my favorite line

Kind of sums it all up, doesn't it?

White Room

by Bob Lefsetz

The sixties were different. They were light, and dark, and nothing in between. Today we live in the gray. In the onslaught of media, nothing sticks out, nothing is in relief, we're all hiding in our bunkers, trying to figure it all out. But, in the sixties, we ventured out, we wanted to experience IT ALL!

In the sixties there was context. It wasn't like today, where without a major hype campaign nobody knows the story. We only had three TV networks. "Rolling Stone" didn't come on the scene until the end of the decade. There were limited media outlets, and we paid attention. The big breakthrough was FM underground radio, and you were lucky if you had an outlet in your community, where you could hear Cream.

Cream was something you heard about from your friends. You went over to somebody's house and they played you "Sunshine Of Your Love". Pete Townshend eventually sang about one note, pure and easy, playing so free, but really it was one RIFF that people lined up behind. And that riff, the one that got it all started, was the one from "Sunshine Of Your Love".

Listen to "Sunshine Of Your Love" today, you'll be STUNNED how little is on the record. God, it sounds like there were NO overdubs, just a power trio laying it down. Still, it wasn't just the notes Clapton was playing, it was the SOUND of those notes. There was a RICHNESS in this hard rock, a SWEETNESS! This wasn't music for boys only, this was music for EVERYBODY with genitals. It had such a weird effect on you, hearing this sound, you felt it in different parts of your body, your brain, your lower abdomen and your groin. Right after the set-up, after the richness, there's this bit of distortion in the guitar, you feel like you're in it for the long haul, to climax, four minutes hence.

Hearing "Sunshine Of Your Love" you had to buy "Disraeli Gears". And that's when you discovered it, the essence, opening side two.

Today the label picks the track, and what's left of radio takes instruction, it's all a CAMPAIGN, which you're AWARE OF! But listening to FM back then was like listening to XM today. Your relationship is with the DEEJAY! Not his voice, not his inane rap like on Sirius, but his CHOICES! That's why we love people, because of who they ARE! And when you heard "Tales Of Brave Ulysses" on the radio your life was made, the same way when Mike Marrone plays some obscure cut that only I thought I knew it makes my day.

One can argue quite strongly the first Cream album is the best. The sound isn't as good as "Disraeli Gears", but overall the songs are BETTER!

But after "Disraeli Gears", the songs got worse. Except for the unexpected "Badge", NOTHING was the caliber of what came before. Still, there was a huge hit on "Wheels Of Fire", a simple song, but one with a monster riff so exquisite that we were touched once again. It was just the SOUND of Clapton's guitar, it sounded like he was WEEPING! But then Ginger hit the drum, and Jack sang richly. Yes, as great as Clapton was, Jack's vocals were a key element of the band.

The dude who made available the MP3s of the Royal Albert Hall show left three out, the last three numbers of the concert. He hopped to, posted them on the site, and I just downloaded them, and heard "White Room".

I don't understand flying around the world to see a band. That's not what rock and roll is about. Rock and roll is about scraping up every dollar you've got, eating the equivalent of dog food just so you can AFFORD to go to the gig. The gig isn't an afterthought, ONE thing you can acquire, experience, but the ONLY thing!

While we were experiencing flower power in the U.S., the Brits were experiencing rain. The music from across the pond was different from ours. It wasn't sunny, it was dark. Made in the U.K., it was America's dark underbelly. It coexisted with Monkees hits. It was necessary, for balance.

Flying across the pond forty years later has NO darkness. Unless you saved up every last dollar you had and slept on the street in order to go.

And, going was SO much different then. You went ALL THE TIME! Because the tickets were CHEAP! Under five bucks. The concert experience wasn't about preferred parking and alcohol, it was about the MUSIC!

And that music can be heard in Cream's rendition of "White Room" on May 5th.

Eric gets that unique guitar sound. But really, it's Ginger's drums. You can hear the FEROCITY!

And then, on top of it all, in comes Jack.

Oh, he's singing along, all those words you remember. And then you hear it...

"I'll wait in this place where the sun never shines Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves"

I'm waiting for this place to return. Where business trumps art. Where creativity is revered over music. Where the messiah returns.

Religious zealots think the messiah is going to come from heaven. Down to save us.

But I don't believe that. I don't believe in a higher power. I believe in people. Their ability to triumph, do the right thing, against incredible odds.

Here, just before the show is over, almost two hours into it, having deliv ered upon expectations, Cream FINALLY throws off the limitations and just RIPS! THIS is music-making. When you're no longer going by the rehearsal, when you're just WINGING IT! When you stop concentrating on being together, do your own thing and it all FALLS INTO PLACE!

And a little over halfway through the number, Eric finally takes center stage, he finally WAILS! Not in the way he has for the past thirty years, but the way he did with John Mayall, as a SIDEMAN! In the tradition of great bluesmen, he's taking his LICKS! He's just part of the club.

And all these years later, it's still a championship team.

How many of his letters start out with something about the sixties or the classic era being "different"?

Lefzetz meets Pitchfork, world implodes.

this guy's paragraph breaks are so psychotic.

just the dumbest man alive

A variety show with dancing and singing? They’re already gone from regular network TV, the idea of appealing to everybody went by the wayside

- literally some of the biggest shows in the world are dancing and singing performance shows

I do not remember this time 10 years ago when the young people of the world got together en masse to live tweet the Kennedy Center Honors

It must be a terrible thing, to have lived too long.

terrible for us at least

Dreadful

I'm stunned how much feedback I got about "Killers of the Flower Moon." If I'd written about a record I would have gotten a fraction of the responses. It seems more people are familiar with Scorsese's movie than the music of Taylor Swift.

sir you are 70 years old and your readers are even older

https://Twitter.com/carlzoilus/status/1749625426559877310?s=46&t=m63acfIIT8JsOyy5v_2nJw

Not that Collective Soul was a hair band, it wasn't even a band at first.

But I loved "December." Not that I would have put it that way prior to today. I always liked it, but thinking about it and playing it this morning made me smile.

And think about how I was not the only one who knew it. EVERYBODY knows it. Because it was a different era.

Collective Soul had a song other than "Shine"?

oh weird I had no memory of that but looked it up on YouTube and totally remembered it, I don't know if I knew it was called "December" or by Collective Soul

just a lonely guy thinkin about and smilin over the song we all know as "turn your head now baby spit me out"

i hate it when lefsetz makes me picture him listening to music alone

xpost - what really surprised me is learning that the song is actually about Jesus and communion, apparently!

lefsetz is definitely thinking of "a long december" by the counting crows, no?

no, he actually links to the song at the beginning, but "a long december" would make a lot more sense

lol just amazing

But on this extremely warm late January day in Southern California it’s in the mid-seventies and Felice opened the windows and the bubbler in the birdbath was driving me crazy, distracting me, getting under my skin, so I got up to shut the windows and that’s when my eye caught Alexa. I wasn’t looking, but I saw what she had to say, and it was “December.”

Now oftentimes Alexa will display the last cut you told her to play. I didn’t call out “December.” Did Felice? But I couldn’t imagine that. And I sat back down to the “Times” and my coffee yogurt and…

haha OH MY GOD LEF

I guess thinking of “December” made me think of “Push.” Which is a great cut, but I didn’t realize it until I heard the acoustic version recorded in the Star Lounge of radio station 98.7. I bought a CD of performances on the station, at Music Plus, on a bad Love@AOL date. Well, it was a little more complicated than that. I drove to the far west valley to sit down at a sushi bar where the woman professed love at first bite, which freaked me out, but by time I’d calmed down she wasn’t as infatuated, and then I played Van Halen’s “And the Cradle Will Rock…” at top volume on the Alpine/ADS system in my car and that sealed the deal, as in she put her hands over her ears and insisted I take her back to her automobile.

There are a few Collective Soul songs I hear all the time, and they all sound like someone else. "Shine" (a cross between STP and Supertramp?) "December" (Alice in Chains? Pearl Jam's "Glorified G"?), "The World I Know" (Goo Goo Dolls).

But on this extremely warm late January day in Southern California it’s in the mid-seventies and Felice opened the windows and the bubbler in the birdbath was driving me crazy, distracting me, getting under my skin, so I got up to shut the windows and that’s when my eye caught Alexa.

is this the enright translation

Xpost - that Lef playing Van Halen at top volume and thereby ending a date story!

it's incredible, truly

He made the choice he had to.

I like the system brand notes....if the "Steve Hoffman Forum" was more akin to the "Penthouse Forum" I would suspect Lef of having constructed one of those elaborate fake annecdotes...

Alpine car stereo is perfect for Lef

Have never listened to his podcast. He’s hyping his interview with Christopher Cross on it :

I loved talking to this guy. He wrote songs, played in cover bands and then connected with a last chance demo tape. He's a fan, just like you and me. You're going to enjoy this.

Is that quote from a 1979 newsletter

still celebrating the Newmannium

he writes that hype like George Zimmer trying to get you to come visit The Men's Wearhouse

Fitting that Eric Carmen’s passing is drawing more reader letters than anything else recently.

Yep. Lefsetz age group.

His broad statements and judgments are something—

Elon Musk is more of a rock star than anybody making music today, and this didn't used to be the case. If you wanted to know which way the wind blew, you listened to a record, not anymore.

This bothers me, how the MTV paradigm of a worldwide hit single now dominates. That there's no parallel alternative music and culture, of any significance, but they call it the music "business," and everybody follows the money. Starving artists don't pay fealty to the work, they just complain that they don't get paid.

Man in the silk suit hurries by as he catches the starving artist's eye
Just for fun he says, "Start a Substack."

Once again, I'm against war, period. However, in this case Hamas did attack.

This thread is evergreen.

Putting Damon Kurkowski on blast in the new letter, ugh.

if the history of language (+discourse in general) was a game of uno, the word "HOWEVER" is the draw 4. and some fucking assholes absolutely cannot wait to drop that fucker on you.

😂 omg Lefsetz says he hates America cause of people like me and of all things holds up my dear late friend Tom Rapp as an opposite ideal - does he know Tom and I made music together?? And that Tom stood up for workers both in his job as a civil rights attorney and as an artist?? https://t.co/yoWNaTWMeg

— Damon K 🎤 (@dada_drummer) March 28, 2024

do love a good clapback.

Lefsetz is so obsessed with defending Spotify

Today's music business is all about consumption, CONTINUED CONSUMPTION! Do you know what I'm interested in? What the numbers for "Cowboy Carter" are a year from now!

Lonesome Cowboy Bob

his Spotify obsession is the most annoying of his 1001 annoying thing, it's like I'M NOT SOME BRAIN DAMAGED BOOMER INDUSTRY HANGER ON I LOVE DIGITAL STREAMING BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON

you guys really love to rag on this guy

hell yeah I love it

Putting Damon Kurkowski on blast in the new letter, ugh.

― paisley got boring (Eazy), Thursday, 28 March 2024 19:45 (one week ago) link

let-them-fight.gif

I don’t want to sound like a Republican here, but
I don’t want to sound like a Republican here, but
I don’t want to sound like a Republican here, but
I don’t want to sound like a Republican here, but
I don’t want to sound like a Republican here, but

From Damon Krukowski's Substack:

'#BandcampFriday remains an excellent way to directly compensate musicians for recordings. All our Damon & Naomi albums are pay-as-you-wish, unless you are Bob Lefsetz in which case they cost $10,000 each'

we should all try to dogpile on lef right now and maybe the onslaught of beef will cause him to retire in shame.

there i go, writing real life fanfic again.

Woud You Go To A Festival?-SiriusXM This Week