My Mother

Y'know it took almost 40 years to realize my mother is extremely narcissistic. I never realized this as she never blatantly stands in front of the mirror proclaiming she loves herself. But she does. If you don't follow her, agree with her or are "like her", she rejects you. One of the things that had a major impact on me is when she proclaimed: "I am very much let down because I thought you would be like me and you aren't." And having a narcissistic mother has been exceptionally destructive (for me). I think there are two options: either you rebel/become aggressive or you become docile, subservient. I became the latter so much so it has become my natural reflex. Even towards my children. After all these years I can finally say no and not feel guilty (towards my mother). But finally I have said no. I have made the choice that if she doesn't agree, I will "divorce" her.