Getting on for 2 years here. In a relationship, and I have tried acting, talking, humour, sending suggestive poetry et al. The object of my desires has a low sex drive in any case and has recently been suffering from chronic pain. He's just had an op to fix the pain, but is looking at a 6 month recuperation. I've gone beyond suffering from frustration and settled into thinking of myself as celibate. It seems like the only way to preserve my sanity, given that a) there's no chance for the next good while and b) he's always said 'no' more than he's said 'yes'.
I miss the intimacy.
― Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 12:10 (thirteen years ago) link
I might possibly maybe get busy a few days after xmas when I visit Atlanta. hooray me! (This will be the first time I've had sex with two different people in the same year since...ever.)
― Lightning Is For Babies (Johnny Fever), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 12:15 (thirteen years ago) link
you go girl
lj dogg are you going to stop off in Sydney?
― i'm assuming that it's tity boi, host of the mixtape (sic), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:01 (thirteen years ago) link
am saving up for just the one flight, sadly...although maybe she and I will take a weekend there before we return to England! :)
― gospodin sim gishel (acoleuthic), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:05 (thirteen years ago) link
You want to help end his drought?
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:05 (thirteen years ago) link
(x-post, dammit!)
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:06 (thirteen years ago) link
ha ha
― i'm assuming that it's tity boi, host of the mixtape (sic), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:07 (thirteen years ago) link
i am going bonkers
― BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:20 (thirteen years ago) link
Damn my eyesight, I misread that as 'I am going with hookers'
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:23 (thirteen years ago) link
that's what we call prostitutes here. "bonkers." because they bonk you.
― BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:24 (thirteen years ago) link
Blackout Crew - "put a bonk on it"
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 13:29 (thirteen years ago) link
"put a prostiture on it"
― Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 14:05 (thirteen years ago) link
Shld read 'prostitute', obv.
im back in the saddle.
― Mark Chmuras Hot Tub Crime Machine (chrisv2010), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 15:45 (thirteen years ago) link
xposts to surfingatwork and i guess vegegirl - low sex drive or no sex drive, if your partner has at least one working hand and maybe even a tongue (bonus!) there really is no reason you should be doing without. imo and ime part of a committed relationship is both of you doing things ~for~ each other, without necessarily getting any particular payoff yourself (except the satisfaction that you are making your partner happy).
― just1n3, Wednesday, 1 December 2010 16:25 (thirteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWhSfln1O4k
― BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 16:29 (thirteen years ago) link
mrs. kkvgz went to her 6 week post-pregnancy checkup today.in: u need 2 pick up my pills at cvsout: okout: what kinda pills they got you on?in: bcntrlout: !
― Julian Osage Orange (kkvgz), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 21:48 (thirteen years ago) link
lol @ you people complaining about going without for a month.
was in a relationship for years so it definitely feels like a drought. probably more an issue with sleeping alone as opposed to just sex. but yeah, at what point is it an official shameful drought?
― ╭∩╮⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠╭∩╮ (jeff), Wednesday, 1 December 2010 23:13 (thirteen years ago) link
Surfing at Work: Perhaps one of the medications he's on for pain management is lowering his libido?
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 2 December 2010 01:33 (thirteen years ago) link
― ENBB, Wednesday, December 1, 2010 3:45 AM Bookmark
u ma(rrie)d
― The Reverend, Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:42 (thirteen years ago) link
god louis is so damn funny
― jagger reupholstered my pussy (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:59 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^fuckwant
― The Reverend, Thursday, 2 December 2010 07:02 (thirteen years ago) link
ck
― jagger reupholstered my pussy (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 2 December 2010 07:04 (thirteen years ago) link
ok lol
― The Reverend, Thursday, 2 December 2010 07:06 (thirteen years ago) link
'calvin klein reupholstered my pussy'
Posh spice 'ok' magazine headline
― Goths in Home & Away in my lifetime (darraghmac), Thursday, 2 December 2010 11:43 (thirteen years ago) link
Just1n3, Christine, thanks for your thoughts. I agree, there must be ways he could help out viz. my frustrations and I have been pretty angry about it at times, cuz of the distancing effect of going without. He just doesn't want to. Alcohol is lowering his libido imo, but I'm trying not to underestimate the knock-on effects of pain either: lack of sleep, stress, depression (all feeding back into the drinking, in a really charming spiral). OTOH perhaps he just doesn't like sex / me all that much.
He'll be recuperated in a few months. If we're still speaking, perhaps I'll find out.
― Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Saturday, 4 December 2010 16:32 (thirteen years ago) link
OTOH perhaps he just doesn't like me all that much
I think this, plus depression, may be the answer.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Saturday, 4 December 2010 19:20 (thirteen years ago) link
eeh, i don't know about that? serious illness, serious medication, serious and unfortunate self-medication, they all really play into making a person be not who they really are.
― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Sunday, 5 December 2010 04:02 (thirteen years ago) link
*nods*
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 6 December 2010 00:49 (thirteen years ago) link
did you exactly mean your previous response? because that is pretty wtf
― mookieproof, Monday, 6 December 2010 01:00 (thirteen years ago) link
No, I was agreeing with you.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 6 December 2010 01:07 (thirteen years ago) link
It's not that wtf, tbh. Seems like a real possibility to me.
Somehow we missed this! Congratulations matey.
― Zora, Monday, 6 December 2010 10:20 (thirteen years ago) link
big ups
― The Reverend, Monday, 6 December 2010 10:32 (thirteen years ago) link
wonder if there's a distinction between my desire for sex and my desire for intimacy? does confuse matters a bit.
― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 03:16 (thirteen years ago) link
insomnia can sure bring out the emo tmi in a fella.
― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 03:17 (thirteen years ago) link
tbh i often feel more bad about the lack of the latter than the lack of the former.
― The Reverend, Tuesday, 7 December 2010 03:21 (thirteen years ago) link
well that lasted about a week.
― Indian Food 2 Electric Vindaloo (chrisv2010), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 15:50 (thirteen years ago) link
You two are back to no sex again?
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Tuesday, 7 December 2010 20:45 (thirteen years ago) link
I believe that is what he implied, yes, although we can ask him for details in depth.
ILpryingforTMI
― mh, Tuesday, 7 December 2010 21:01 (thirteen years ago) link
thought he might have been braggin bout a mammoth session tbh
― Goths in Home & Away in my lifetime (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 21:09 (thirteen years ago) link
I didn't mean to pry.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 01:17 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^ haha.
yep back to no sex. sometimes i wonder if she is having an affair.
― Indian Food 2 Electric Vindaloo (chrisv2010), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 19:10 (thirteen years ago) link
or im just being paranoid because im insecure. She was very much into sex before we had our kid...oh well. i can still crank one out.
― Indian Food 2 Electric Vindaloo (chrisv2010), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 19:27 (thirteen years ago) link
not being into sex after having a kid is pretty normal I think? esp. b/c you know that having sex can mean another kid & now you really get what that would mean. just a theory but I have a bit of experience in the area...
― Euler, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:17 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah thats my guess...and like i mentioned above or on another thread she tells me she doesn't feel attractive right now or is just too exhausted from work, mothering...etc etc.
― Yeah, there's an ass for that. (chrisv2010), Thursday, 9 December 2010 14:14 (thirteen years ago) link
Seriously, I would marry someone just to get my back scratched once a day.
― Johnny Fever, Monday, September 20, 2010 6:58 PM
― Gus Van Sotosyn (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 9 December 2010 16:15 (thirteen years ago) link
not all its cracked up to be.
― Yeah, there's an ass for that. (chrisv2010), Thursday, 9 December 2010 18:46 (thirteen years ago) link
actually it is, & you don't have to worry about it making another kid
the trick is to get her to realize that a bj doesn't have to lead to babymaking sex: not that it's a newsflash obv but I think the mighty bj can get judged to be foreplay rather than an end in itself & that's what you gotta combat: "it's just lunch" basically.
― Euler, Thursday, 9 December 2010 23:30 (thirteen years ago) link
Who are you -- Bill Clinton?
― Gus Van Sotosyn (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 9 December 2010 23:48 (thirteen years ago) link
the ovum office
― Euler, Thursday, 9 December 2010 23:50 (thirteen years ago) link