Sex Droughts

Time for a new mattress?

imagine the sales assistant's face

'so, how many fucks is one of these good for anyway?'

If my sex life was healthy enough that I had to take it into consideration when buying a new mattress, I'd probably get one of those solid memory foam jobs.

if my sex life was healthy enough that i had to take it into consideration, i wouldn't have passed 30000 messages without noticing ;_;

^^^ u_u

actually wait, i am only at 28k. still one of the cool kids.

you're not even outstanding in the nerdy kids u mean

This is message 16,446. There is hope for me yet!

I'm still around 1500 after 9 years. I win!

Not only that, but your posts are quality.

*blushes*

yeah yeah yeah 16k posts in we were all smoothies, man

welp i'm guessing my near 50k posts puts me down for no sex again ever

but that was likely to happen anyway so

does ILX decrease sperm count?

Still, 16k+ posts in 7.5 years is nothing I should be proud of. That's about 2200 posts per year, or six posts per day. I could/should be having 10 minutes of sex in the time it takes me to write those six posts.

can't you multitask?

/lj

tbh if i have ten mins of sex i'd only be pissing one person off, it's much more efficient to make the 6 posts

Sex only takes ten minutes for you? Oh, you poor thing.

I don't have a laptop or smartphone. I do all my posting from a desk.

I guess I could stash a gf and/or prostitute under there for fellatio while I'm typing, but I have long legs and she'd probably be uncomfortable.

Sex only takes ten minutes for you?

No, I can go longer. Writing six posts usually takes ten minutes (because at least a couple of them are longer format), and I was just using that as my timeframe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ksvqlRRv8

Sex only takes ten minutes for you?

i did say that it pissed one person off, you didn't think it was me, now?

my antianxiety meds actually improved duration by slowing down the process.

inception

yea man i have to synchronize it to when the bus hits the water

kinkay

My Wellbutrin lengthens the process (just a little bit) but increases the bang at the end.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/148/375769818_39d6d53409.jpg

:D

gentleman.jpg

:)

yay!

I was just about to post here whining but then I got a message from a date I had about a month ago. Yay!

I'm almost pathologically passive

same here :?

plenty of people get laid while still living with their parents

― sarahel, Tuesday, December 28, 2010 7:16 PM Bookmark

how does one achieve this?

― The Reverend, Wednesday, December 29, 2010 10:58 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

I feel it is less a logistical problem than one of stigma. At least that's just another assumption I make to justify never approaching girls ever.

I had a partner once who still lived with his parents and brothers. His mom pulled me over one day and said, "No babies," and winked. That's the most it ever got discussed.

I feel it is less a logistical problem than one of stigma.

OTM OTM OTM OTM OTM OTM

"hey mom! I'm gettin' it in tonite!"

so at this point i'm wondering if I should just cut off my balls and move to the Himalayas

I've already looked into it, the immigration process takes forever and the rent is a bastard

also sin testiculos nagl in tibet '11 accordin to my sherpa mates

It is weird when Dad asks about hickeys.

Unless you're 15, probably.

xp You'll be living in your balls while you're there, right?

(gbx yay!)

In 2004 I was stirring a cup of coffee in the kitchen when Dad, as casually as ever, said, "Watch your neck" as he walked by. I checked the mirror and, yeah, I had a big ol'hickey from the previous night's dalliance.

Still trying to figure out how I left a large hickey at the front base of a girl's neck, I had a handful of bite bruises, and the sex was still just ok. This was, uh, a month and some ago, and I willingly went back to possible drought times. Imthink it just made me realize I need to get my shit together.

i would rather go without than have to endure a hicky

sex drought, 4 wisks

so wish alfred's dad had said 'protect ya neck'

comin through your town like your neighborhood biiiiiiter man