people who poop first thing at work in the morning

uuugh i'd so much rather have a public bathroom with a bunch of stalls than share a bathroom with a family member who occupies it for half an hour to an hour at a time multiple times a day. (he shaves, brushes his teeth, and showers after he goes to the bathroom sometimes, so you never know how long it is going to take.) i moved my fucking toothbrush today so i don't have to stand around waiting.

moving out in exactly 3 weeks though....

Now whenever any of us FAP w/ Cutty, all we'll be able to think of will be the gleaming cleanliness of his asshole, hidden under all that clothing. What a waste.

Cutty's asshole should have its own tiny webcam.

uh

even i have to agree with cutty on that one

poop truce

this goes against my princaples but i had to do this today :/

God, I am used to getting up at 10 and pooping around 10:30. My new job starts at 7 a.m. and my body still hasn't figured out pooping any earlier than 10:30 a.m. My dog has this problem, too, actually. My boyfriend has to take him out around 9 or so because he won't poop so early.

Normal ritual: wake up, drink coffee, smoke cancer causing device, poop, shower…in that order.
But today things didn’t go right

this notion of a regularly-scheduled poop is bizarre and foreign to me

apparently it's a sign of good health.

i prefer pooping on the clock, myself.

Normal ritual: wake up, drink coffee, smoke cancer causing device, poop, shower…in that order.
But today things didn’t go right

I just hope it wasn't

poop, wake up, drink coffee, smoke cancer causing device, shower

this notion of a regularly-scheduled poop is bizarre and foreign to me

you like to be surprised, eh?

Ok...sorry to ask. TMI ahead. But: every time I wake up v early (say 4-5 a.m.), I invariably end up with a BM that is a 2 on the Bristol scale sometime in the afternoon. What the fuck is the explanation behind this?

It *is* conveniently timed to avoid pooping at work at all, tho...at least there is that.

I have that problem too but it is usually the BM that wakes me up at 4 am to 5 am rather than me waking up and then it happening

honestly at work I manage to pick a pooping time that coincides with the damn janitor cleaning the bathroom. One of the stalls has a faulty lock on the door, and sometimes I get stuck in that one, and I'm so paranoid of him barging in that I give a warning "someone's in here" flush every time I hear his voice.

xps: That is a rare G.I. condition known as asssbuttt.

xpost "Not Including you?"

san te give him the someone is in here clearing of the throat.

anyone have one of these coffee makers that you can prepare the night before & it will start making coffee at a set time? i don't drink coffee but my dad/brother use our coffee maker that way & it seems pretty dope

My roommate does. It is really nifty when you work a M-F job as it makes waking up a more seamless process

anyone have one of these coffee makers that you can prepare the night before & it will start making coffee at a set time? i don't drink coffee but my dad/brother use our coffee maker that way & it seems pretty dope

It's pretty awesome – I have mine set to go while I'm in the shower. When I emerge, coffee's done.

what does this have to do with shitting.

If you don't know about the coffee/shitting connection you are a lucky man.

Scheduling completed coffee can force a pre-work pooping time.

That said, ideally you'd gulp a cup of coffee, walk around for a half hour, poop, shower, and then go to work.

Total nonsense, I can't wake up that early before going to work.

so that's what my upstairs neighbour spends >= half an hour walking round on the wooden floorboards right above my room at 7am every day, the fucker.

oh i know all about coffee/shitting....clockwork baby. drink my cup on the toilet sometimes.

gross dude

and read the news paper.

i dont drink it with my asshole.

brew some assuccino

If you don't know about the coffee/shitting connection you are a lucky man.

― Pirates of the Caribbean V: Letters of Marque & Reprisal (Phil D.), Friday, 11 February 2011 15:36 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And now I have the Alan Price song in my head...

i am captain multitasking shit.

plus im in there for a half an hour sometimes, need to get "shit" done.

preparing the gasspacho

1/2 hour! xp

that can't be good for you

has anyone had a conversation on the phone while pinching a loaf?

sometimes my legs fall asleep.

xxpost: Loads of interesting ILX posts overnight?

This thread has become a Colonic Confessional

i've been on a conference call while taking a dump.

A video conference call

grunts and all

my favorite mornings are the mornings when I have to go before I leave the house. After I get to work and have my coffee, I don't have to compete for the men's room (we have a single stall for like 50 people in my bldg).

I guess I will never find out why waking up at 5 a.m. means a 10-minute toilet session at 4 p.m.

its your shitcadia rhythm

I know I'm going to regret asking this but - does this imply that all of you go every day?